Amazon Runner

Girls night out and other news

2010-03-18T09:11:00.001-07:00

Hi, Just thought I would get caught up again for the past week or so.

Last Wednesday, a friend of a friend contacted me about an event called GIRLS NIGHT OUT that was a fundraiser for a teen girl named Erica who is a member of 4-H and was accepted into the Youth Ambassador program.

With this program, they go to Europe for several weeks in the summer and stay with host families, visit local politicians and community leaders, etc. It is to promote global understanding and world peace.

I guess they raise their own money for the trip and it's about $6,000

So I was invited to vend the Lakota Crafts and all I had to do was supply an item for them to raffle.

Thing is, I am not yet set up for the pow wow season-- so I had NOTHING tagged or packed, did not have a cash drawer set to to make change, plus I don't have a car right now.

So I spent two days scrambling around and got my BFF & artist Jeanne, to accompany me, and I spent two days cramming to sort, tag, and pack crafts items, set up my cash drawer, get my literature together, etc.

In spite of the rain and wind storm we were having, there was a good turn out and a lot of raffle tickets were sold. I met nice people and earned about $80 for the Lakota kids. I donated $10 back to Erica, plus donated a really nice craft item for the next fundraiser.

There are some pics from the event below and here is the URL for Erica's web page about what she is doing.

http://ericacanmakeadifference.weebly.com/

This first pic is actually jewelry that my friend Jeanne made out of her art. Too bad there is glare on the art. She makes tiny prints of her own art and it gets adhered to these glass tiles with a special adhesive. She then adds it to a necklace with other charms and sells these for about $15

Her art is stunning and mostly has a native or earth honoring theme. I'm betting that during the pow wow season she will sell the hell out of these.

Just some random shots of the gathering

On other fronts, we had driving wind and rain for three days last weekend and our basement flooded BIG TIME. So we spent most of the weekend trying to stay ahead of the water. Thank God the sun finally came out.

Also, my dr's office called two days ago and said my recent tests show that I STILL have a vitamin D deficiency. So he prescribed a mega vitamin D capsule that I'm to take once a week while continuing with the daily supplements I've been using. I hope this does the trick!

Now that the sun is out, I DID force myself to get outside and I spent all day Tuesday and Wednesday clearing flower beds, cleaning the stone paths and just generally poking around and getting ready for the gardening season.

I will be sure to take frequent photos and post them here as the season moves along, that way you garden lovers can enjoy the progress with me.

I made a commitment to a friend of mine to be on a committee for an annual event she has that raises money and supplies for shelter animals. The committee meeting is tonight but she is picking me up in a little while so we can hang together first and get caught up.

But I didn't want to let another day go by without posting lest you think I disappeared again. LOL

Have a good day everyone! And if it is nice outside where you are I hope that you get to enjoy it!

Blog issue seems resolved

2010-03-09T11:22:00.001-08:00

Ok, after having the month from hell I tried to post to my blog and realized that it was being redirected to another site.

After going through all sorts of crap trying to get rid of the problem, I found out that it was NOT a hijacking worm on my computer but something imbedded in a gadget that I had on here.

It was a timer counting down to the new haven road race. Those gadgets have stuff embedded in them that the ones distributing them can hijack whatever site the gadget is on, anytime they want. I got this RIGHT HERE in the gadget area, so beware!

Take my advice, remove any gadgets from third parties off your blog. THis was on there for MONTHS before anything happened.

Here's a web page that helped me figure this out. I was ready to scrap my blog!

http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/blogger/thread?tid=7301dc06ad156741&hl=en

Anyway, thank goodness I won't have to scrap my blog!

It is my mother-in-law's 92nd birthday today and I was swamped, I just wanted to let you all know that I FINALLY got this resolved and can resume posting now!

xox
Lori-Ann

Issues with blog

2010-03-08T11:58:00.000-08:00

I have been having a problem with my blog that I cannot resolve. "Someone" has done something to my blog that redirects me to a new page when I try to visit my own blog. If it does this to me it must be doing it when other people try to visit me as well.

Writing to google has done nothing. I may have to scrap this blog and start over.

Yikes!

Back -- (yeah, really!)

2010-03-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am back for real this time.

I realized that I cannot get you caught up if I go into everything in detail so I am going over the main points briefly and bring you up to date. Here goes:

#1 -- DEATH OF ELDER, Lakota elder Jerome Yellow Dog was like a father to me for over 30 years. Right around the time of my birthday in early February, his niece called from Nebraska to tell me that he passed away.

To make a long story short, our finances are a mess right now and there was NO WAY that I could fly out there for the funeral. I felt just terrible about this and my guilt over not being able to be there for the family was just as strong as my sadness over his passing.

I never had a father. This man is the closest thing to a father I ever had. That I couldn’t be there to pay my respects just tore me up.

#2 -- Teen Suicide- Within a week after Jerome passed, a teen I’ve been working with on the rez committed suicide. She was an artist and a friend of one of the other teens whom I sell crafts for. I was going to both have note cards made from her art and also sell her original acrylic pieces. The samples of her work were gorgeous!

I sent her a box of art supplies and spoke with her on the phone several times. All of a sudden, I get a call that she committed suicide. The teen suicide rate on the rez is high-- three times the national average. I have been touched by many deaths there over the years because of the health issues and the suicide rate.

For whatever reason, I was profoundly affected by this girl’s death even though I hadn’t met her in person. This is not something I can explain. Maybe I don’t need to…….

But I felt a terrible sense of futility about trying to help the kids and about everything that I do for and with the Lakota. This was awful. I almost gave up. But the enthusiasm of some of the other kids about their craft projects brought me back and I threw myself into listing stuff on ebay and I even started creating an etsy store-- which I am still working on.

#3 -- medical stuff - When I last posted, I’d had a colonoscopy that was inconclusive because the one-day prep was not enough. And I was concerned about the results of all of my (then) pending medical tests because of early deaths of two siblings from cancer.

I did a four day prep for a second colonoscopy which I had last week. Let me be brief with this and say they removed four more polyps and will call me when biopsies come back.

I had my first pap smear in 15 years two weeks ago and got a letter Saturday telling me that was normal! YEAH!!!

Also, I had my mammography several weeks ago and that was normal too!

The vitamin D and calcium supplements that I’ve been taking worked, as my Dr tested my levels at my last check-up two weeks ago and I am no longer deficient.

I am having a bone density screening tomorrow and that will be an end to all of these extra tests. I go back to my primary care Doc in three months for a blood pressure and thyroid check.

So I’ll just keep taking my medications and supplements and all should be well in the short-term. I was extremely preoccupied and stressed out over all of these pending medical tests and procedures, so I am glad this no longer needs to be an area of focus.

#4 -- Finances: We’ve had one disaster after another this winter --- dog emergencies resulting in huge vet bills, appliances dying, vehicle repairs and you-name-it. The end result is that with two kids in college and the other strains on the budget, we are now going on two months behind on our mortgage and we are barely able to keep our utilities on.

We have never, NEVER been in this situation before. We have always paid our mortgage on time our entire married life-- even if that meant we had to live on rice and beans and go without “extras.”

But the disasters were one after another all winter and we got deeper in the hole each week. My husband is terribly depressed and upset.

We’re hoping to have enough of an income tax refund to get us back on track. He dropped all of our papers off at the accountant a few days ago and everything should be ready to file next week. We should have enough of a federal return that we can get caught up.

I am so worn down by everything that has happened that I am afraid to comfort myself. Until we have the money in hand and are paying the mortgage, I can’t be satisfied.

I can’t deal with stress as well as I could when I was younger so I will be glad when we get past this. It is killing me.

On other fronts, I told you in the past about our wildlife garden and had given you a tour of the property which you can view in this post. Well, this past weekend was gorgeous out so Jeff and I spent both Saturday and Sunday outdoors raking and bagging leaves, trimming the trees and bushes, and cleaning up all of the flower beds.

We must have filled 30 of those brown landscaping bags. With everything cleared away, you can see the tops of the daffodils and tulips emerging. The crocus are already up-- it gave us a boost to be out there.

Anyway, when I went for my check up two weeks ago I could not believe that I lost 3 pounds as I have NOT been counting calories and I was SURE that I was going to show a gain. I guess I was eating just under what I needed to maintain.

That’s pretty much what I am still doing.

As this post is already so long, I’ll end for now. It is good to be back and I will be going around to check on all of you and see how you’re doing.

xox

It lives!

2010-02-23T16:18:00.000-08:00

Jeff and I ran away to become professional dancers but that didn't work out, so I am back. Check out this link for a quick video of us in action.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/9fREV2jD2dkT0fkZ

Seriously, I am ok and i am back and will post more tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who kept track of me!

xoxoxo

Lori-Ann

Colonoscopy disaster

2010-02-02T08:04:00.000-08:00

Ok-- before I launch into explaining this disaster, let me say that I am a believer in biochemical individuality (or whatever you want to call it) because I KNOW there are many ways that my body is different from other people's. In some ways this is positive and helpful and in others ways it is not.

One "good" way that I am different is that my body MOST of the time resists any illness based on "germs" that get passed around. I have only had the flu twice in my whole life. I get maybe one cold a year, at most.

You can count on one hand how many times in my life I have vomited. When vomiting/diarrhea things are going around I may get an upset stomach for a day and some "loose stools" and that's about it. I always end up taking care of everyone else who is sick and I somehow don't catch it 90% of the time.

Now, when I went to my initial appointment with the gastroenterologist (to schedule a colonoscopy) I warned him about two things: One, drugs that knock other people out don't work on me and, two, constipation is my natural state and always has been. It has been a source of jokes between me and my husband for years.

When they gave me the solution I was supposed to drink to clean out my system before the procedure, I told him, (seriously) that it might not be enough to work on me. And I also told him that I doubted whatever he gave other people to knock them out would work on me. I guess he thought I was joking.

Ok, so Sunday I fasted all day and at 4:30 in the afternoon I mixed the Nulytely they gave me and started drinking it. I consumed the whole gallon within two hours. I got so full and bloated and I felt like puking...........yet the hours ticked by and I did not go to the bathroom.

To spare you the literally "crappy" details, suffice it to say that I did not "go" for the first time until after 9pm, almost FIVE HOURS after drinking the stuff. (It is supposed to start working within an hour). I was up half the night going but I could tell when we arrived at the hospital the next day at NOON that some of that stuff was still in my system. I was STILL visiting the restroom and what was coming out was not "clear" as it should have been.

Ok, fast forward to the procedure, I'm in the procedure room and they give a shot into the IV of whatever the hell they give you to put you to sleep. I continued to talk with a nurse about my diet and weight loss. I felt buzzed, like I had too much to drink, but I was still very awake.

The doc told the nurse to give me another shot. Then I fell asleep but woke up several times. At one point, I heard the doc tell the nurse that they could not give me any more of the drug they were using to try to make me sleep. I heard him tell her to give me a shot of benadryl to help keep me out for a few minutes and he was going to wrap things up.

Later, he told me that the prep was not good and that I have to do it again with a different prep that lasts for two days. He also said he wants me to have general anesthesia so that I stay asleep. He said that every time I woke up I tried to sit up and that is not good with what they are trying to do.

In spite of the "bad prep" he found two polyps and removed them. They have been sent for biopsy. One really WEIRD thing is that he told my husband while I was in the recovery room that he couldn't see certain areas and there seemed to be something like corn blocking his view. I DON'T EAT CORN often and haven't had any for months. Corn? I have to wonder what the f*ck was he seeing.

I don't have a medical background so have no idea what he could have seen that looked like corn. Yikes. Something about it is creepy to me.

So I called this morning to reschedule and I am waiting for the nurse to call me back with the date for my next procedure and instructions for the prep. They also said that our insurance company is not going to want to pay for the second procedure nor for the general anesthesia, so he is writing them a letter explaining why. Even so, at the end I may end up having to pay for all or part of this. YIKES!

Today, I feel sort of "detached," probably some residual affect of all of the drugs they had to give me to try and keep me down. But I got up early and kept my appointment for my mammography. That is done! They said they will mail me the results.

When I was leaving the building, I noticed another medical building next door that was an OB/GYN. Since I haven't had a pap smear in 15 years and my doc is bugging out about it, I thought I'd get that over with too. So I walked right over and made an appointment before I chickened out.

So I have an appointment there for the end of the month. My doc will be thrilled!

I'm having an intense and totally irrational craving for TACOS, of all things. Ortega makes whole grain taco shells that are about 55 calories each and have a lot of fiber. Although I don't do well with a lot of grains, I am going to indulge myself and make tacos for dinner tonight.

I stopped at the market on the way home from the mammography to get the ingredients then I came home and got everything ready for tonight. I cut up some lettuce, onion, tomato, avocado and black olives to have on the tacos, and I am going to use fat-free greek yogurt for the sour cream. I arranged everything all pretty-like on a platter. I also put a salad together. YUMMY! Everything is pre-prepared so it will be a breeze getting dinner on the table tonight.

Anyway, I am not really "with it" so I'm going to go lay down for awhile. Have a great day everyone! And I appreciate everyone who checked up on me. Online friends are real friends-- so many have proven it to me again and again! You guys are the best!

ADDED LATER: Forgot to say that when they took my "vital signs" at the hospital, my body temp was only 96.6, probably because of the thyroid issues.

January Progress Report & Prep for colonoscopy (Yikes!)

2010-01-31T07:58:00.000-08:00

Greetings friends. This has been a strange and sometimes stressful week for me, but, more on that later........

I entered a women's fitness challenge over at the JP fitness forum. Many of the women are doing the NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN program, but you can do any program.

The challenge is for 6 months and you must post your stats and progress pics monthly at the first of every month. If you've been following my blog, you know that I haven't weighed myself a lot during my weight loss, but got weighed only when I went to the doctor. This is because of compulsiveness with regard to the scale.

Anyway, I thought a 6-month challenge would be good for me, so here I am. Here's some progress pics, one from August 2009 and one taken earlier today.

My weight today is 270 pounds, representing a loss of 15 pounds this month and a total weight loss of 160 pounds since last March. I wanted to mention that I started taking thyroid meds at the start of this challenge, as I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at that time.

I am positive that most of my weight loss for the month is fluid as I did nothing but pee when I first started taking the pills, and lost 10 pounds in ten days. I've been checking my weight once or twice a week and it fluctuates wildly. Just a few days ago, I weighed 265.

I also lost 5 1/2 inches this month, with the biggest loss coming off the waist (FINALLY).

At the start of the challenge, I recorded my initial stats and my goals for the challenge. Here they are, followed by my stats for today:

Body Stats (as of January 5, 2010)
age: 51
height: 6'3"
weight: 285
neck: 16”
chest: 46.5"
waist: 49”
hips: 55
thighs: 25
upper arms: 15.5
calves: 16.5

Health Stats (as of 12/28/09)
Blood Pressure 142/74
Cholesterol - 170
HDL- 45
Triglycerides -113
Fasting Blood Sugar -96
Resting heart rate - 62 BPM

Goals for the 2010 Challenge
1. Lose 60 or more pounds (I CAN do it)
2. Lift weights 3 Xs week based on NROL4W
3. Begin couch to 5k program in spring (to prepare for ½ marathon in Sept)
4. Eat adequate protein, continue to eat clean
5) Get blood pressure down more & improve other health stats
6) When gardening season starts, grow as many of my own veggies as possible
7) Buy a nice cocktail dress to wear out on my anniversary in July

February Body Stats (as of January 31, 2010)
age: 51
height: 6'3"
weight: 270
neck: 16”
chest: 46"
waist: 47”
hips: 54
thighs: 24
upper arms: 15.5
calves: 16.5

I feel REALLY strong from the weight lifting and clearly have put on muscle, but still have enough body fat covering everything that you can't see it in the pics. Not yet anyway.

Ok......... on other fronts, I have been VERY anxious for the past two weeks and I KNOW it has to do with the colonoscopy tomorrow. Not the procedure, but what they might find during the procedure, as cancer runs on my dad's side and he had cancer of the colon.

So I have been "off" with my food and exercise, often eating too much and skimping on the cardio. I admit it, there's a little voice saying "Why exercise and eat less if you're gonna die of cancer anyway."

So, I have not been buying potato chips or ice cream....... but rather eating a bit too much at dinner and sometimes going heavier on the carbs than I know I should.

By this time tomorrow, I will likely know whether or not there is anything to worry about up there, and if there isn't, I can go back to normal and refocus on my fitness efforts, and if there is, well, I'll just have to deal with now, won't I?

I also have my mammography on Tuesday.

Greta asked me if I feel better yet from the thyroid meds. Yes I do, Greta. Thank you for asking. My feet are less cold, my skin less dry, I am sleeping better and have more energy and focus during the day. I think the vitamins I started taking are helping too.

Greta asked how many kids we have. Between the two of us, we have seven. Jeff has a daughter, Sarah born in 1979 and a son Andrew born in 1986, plus my son Thomas, whom he adopted as I described in my last post. Thom was born in 1984.

For kids I gave birth to, I had the triplets in 1975 (Michael, William and Kevin), one son born before, Robert, born in 1975; and as I already said, Thomas was born in 84.

Anyway, Tom had the opportunity when he was 12 or 13 to go to Florida and meet his natural father. I did not try to influence him in any way. At first he said he wanted to go, then when it came time, he said he didn't need to do that.

He thinks of Jeff as his dad, not as a step-dad or adoptive dad. He calls his natural father "the sperm donor." LOL

When he decided not to meet his natural father, he said that Jeff had always been there for him and provided for him from when he was small, and that his natural father had never done jack for him and was showing up late in the game and trying to have "fun" with him.

His natural father never once paid a dime of child support and Tom knew this. It is why the judge wanted Jeff to adopt Tom instead of just changing the name. Jeff was supporting him and being his father unofficially.

I occasionally offer to contact the other side of the blood family for Tom and he always declines. This is his choice. We explained that curiosity about it would be normal and that Jeff would not feel hurt or jealous if Tom wanted to pursue relationships with his natural father and his family. He doesn't though. At least not so far.

Anyway, thought I'd leave you with a few links. There's a gal over on the JP fitness forum who also has a GREAT blog where she posts all kinds of studies related to health and fitness. There are side bars on BOTH sides of the blog!

Some of my favorite entries from her blog include:

Three strength training sessions a week keep bones strong without medication

Trained body burns more fat with gentle endurance exercise

Weight Loss Faster With Vitamin D

Also, another of the gals in the challenge will be competing in this year's WARRIOR DASH in her area. So I am wondering if I am up for that?

Check it out http://www.warriordash.com/

I will try to post tomorrow after the colonoscopy!

Hope you're having a great weekend!

xoxox

Perfect Ten Update #4

2010-01-29T19:25:00.002-08:00

It's time for my fourth Perfect Ten update!

MY PERFECT TEN CHALLENGES

1) Begin the NROL4W program (THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN - LIFT LIKE A MAN, LOOK LIKE A GODDESS). Awesome program! Starting it is the best thing I ever did!

2) Begin Training for the New Haven Road Race: I only ran twice this week but as my goal race is 8 months away I am not concerned.

3) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the challenge. I may be very close to this already. We'll see when I post my monthly progress report over the weekend.

4) Improve sleep habits: Not bad this week! (knock on wood)

Now, for something that you probably don't know about me.

I actually had to adopt my own youngest son.

"WTF?," you may be saying.

Yeah, actually, none of my boys belong to Jeff biologically. When we got married, my youngest son assumed that his name would change when mine did. He started writing " Thomas Locke" on his school papers and we had to go into the school for a little chat.

From there, we went to see the probate court judge in our town about legally changing Tom's name. To make a long story short, the judge thought it would serve Tom's interests better if Jeff simply adopted him-- and believe it or not, the cost was about the same.

Something about the law, Jeff and I BOTH had to adopt Tom even though I was his natural mother. So I actually went through the adoption process for my own son. Weird, huh?

Interestingly enough, Tom never liked his middle name, so I allowed him to pick his own middle name when he was adopted and he changed it to "James."

People always say that Tom looks like Jeff and we laugh, as they aren't actually blood related.

That's my update for this week.

Check out my legs!

2010-01-28T12:20:00.000-08:00

Well, I needed a dress for the funeral today and I DID find one at the Coldwater Creek outlet. I LOVE their clothes. This is an $80 dress marked down to $20 --- I could not believe my luck.

Also, (and this is hard to believe, but it's true) this is a standard size XL and it fits-- not well, but it fits. I wore a black blazer over it to hide the remaining lumps, bumps and arm flab. It is probably sized BIG and made to fit a normal woman loosely- but still, your amazon walking out of a store with a standard size at a discount is a NEVER. It was a huge moment for me.

Last year I was a size 5X and special ordered all my clothes. I literally almost cried when I put this on and it fit. It SO makes me look forward to a whole new wardrobe when I get to my goal weight. Anyway. DH hasn't seen me in pantyhose for years and had me pose for the leg shots.

So today was the funeral for Michelle's uncle. DH took the morning off from work and we went to the mass and the funeral -- it was snowing and somehow the beauty and purity of it seemed to match the day

When we came out of the church, the snow collecting on the trees looked so beautiful that I had tears in my eyes. I snapped this pic for you but it didn't really capture its full splendor.

Michelle's uncle was a widower who had no children, and he was estranged from everyone else in the family except for Michelle-- so there was no family gathering after the funeral. So sad.

Jeff went back to work and I offered to take Tom and Michelle out to lunch. Your amazon splurged big time! I hosed down a 12oz steak, baked potato, huge salad and then split a piece of cheesecake with my son. I also drank two glasses of white wine and OMG-- was that ever yummy! I seldom eat meat or drink, so today was unusual.

Normally, today would be a work-out day (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays) but I am feeling kinda "spent" so I am going to do it either later tonight or tomorrow.

On the way home from lunch, my son needed to stop at his house-- so I got to pet his room mate's dog, Tank. That's a pic of Tank and Michelle above. Tank is a pit bull and Rotty mix and has he sweetest disposition you can imagine.

He's 130 pounds though, so when he's playing and gets enthusiastic, he bowls you right over.

Anyway, I'll post my Perfect Ten update tomorrow. I just wanted to share my new dress with my homies! I'll be posting my progress pics and stats over the weekend so look for that as well.

Have a good day everyone!

XOXOX
xo
x

Tuesday's Workout, Bear Friend's question, and some news

2010-01-26T15:49:00.000-08:00

Hey kids! I hope you're all doing well. Today was one of those days when I did NOT want to work out. I tried reasoning with myself and when that failed, I had to b*tch-slap myself and drag myself, kicking and screaming, to the work out area!

Once I got going, I was glad of it. Today was "workout A" and last time I did this, which was last Friday, I had upped the squat and bent-over row to 90# and barely pulled off two sets of each of those. In fact, I almost couldn't complete my last squat and then could not rack the bar and had to drop it onto my sectional sofa.

Today, I did three sets of squats and bent over rows with that weight and was fine with it. It is amazing to me that one can have strength gains like that from one week to the next.

Anyway, here's today's work out:

Warm up - Yoga poses

Squat
10/90
10/90
10/90

Push-up (30 degree)
12
12
12

bent over row
10/90
10/90
10/90

Step-ups
10/25e
10/25e
10/25e

Crunches
50
50
50

Side bends with 25# plate
10
10
10

So, I am glad that I forced myself!

The other day, Bear Friend asked in the comments why the reps and sets change. Well, body building means that you are constantly, well, er um, building!

To build your muscles, you need to constantly challenge them, feed them well, and give them adequate rest. I must always ask my muscles for a little bit more than what they want to give, this break-in phase that I am doing is getting my body used to that.

I started with 2 sets of 15 reps for each exercise. First, the number of reps decreased every other workout, while the weights INCREASED. After a month of this, the number of sets got bumped up to three.

At the end of the break-in phase there will be 6 more phases and each will get more difficult-- I'll be doing crazy-ass shit like one-legged deadlifts and squats, leaping into the air while pressing weight over head, etc.

During the six months, you NEVER let your body rest on its laurels. The weights, sets and movements change frequently and you keep yourself steadily progressing. It is not an easy thing to make the commitment that for 6-months you will live outside your comfort zone and ask a lot of yourself. That is one of the main reasons I am doing this-- aside from the physical results that I hope to achieve.

My son's girlfriend has been caring for an elderly uncle for the past few years. He had a stroke a few days ago and passed away last night. He was blind, incontinent and god-know-what else. Michelle has been living with him and caring for him while putting herself through school. We REALLY like her and her values and hope our son has the good sense to marry her.

Anyway, we want to go to the wake and funeral to support Michelle but of course, I don't have anything to wear. The black dress that I wore to my mom's funeral is a size 5X and literally falls off me now.

So Michelle is picking me up tomorrow afternoon to see if we can find me a cheap black dress or skirt and a pair of pantyhose in amazon size. The funeral is Thursday morning.

It is almost time for the Biggest Loser so I will end this here! But, I'LL BE BACK!

LOL LOL LOL

Sunday's Work out

2010-01-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

I had a great weekend and actually did some form of exercise three days in a row-- Friday, Saturday and Sunday! Saturday was just a brief walk-jog in the woods with the dogs, but hey, I'm gonna count it!

Sunday, I started off with a 1 and 1/2 mile run. I was hoping to be able to go for 2 miles straight but I was being overly optimistic about my abilities. LOL Still, I was thrilled to go a mile and a half straight!

Next I went to the gym. Last time I worked out, I didn't have my log with me and realised later that with the program I am following, I was supposed to increase the sets that I do from 2 to 3 as of the last work out. Not having the training log with me, I didn't do it.

So I got myself on track with that as of today's work out. Another two weeks or so and I'll be done with the break-in phase of the NROL4W program. Then I take a one-week break from lifting before beginning phase two.

Here's what I did today:

Deadlifts
10/125
10/125
10/125

DB Shoulder press*
10/30
10/20
10/20

Pullover
10/30
10/30
10/30

Lunge
10/10
10/10
10/25 -- this last set I did something different and held a 25# plate in front of me as I did the lunges, instead of a DB in each hand.

Crunches
50
50
50

Leg Lifts
20
20
20

Side bends holding 25# plate
10
10
10
10

Skull crushers (2 handed)
10/30
10/30
10/30

Last week I had increased my crunches to 50 reps per set, now I'm doing three sets- so I did 150 crunches today-- and Gosh, did it burn!

I am proud of how reliably I am working my abs now. It is one of the few things I was haphazard with up until I started this program.

I don't know what happened with the DB shoulder presses, a work out or two ago I was able to force up 25# DBs for two sets. I tried to go for 30# this time and barely eeked out one set. I dropped the weight to 25# and simply could not do it.

I hated to, but dropped it back down to 20# in order to do all three sets. Progress isn't a straight line I guess.

I do lift both arms at the same time, which is harder. If I do one at a time I can lift a bit more, but I prefer to lift both arms at the same time.

I did get to the gym today and jumped on the cable chest fly machine, which I LOVE and have been missing as I've been working out at home. So I hopped on that bad boy and did 3 sets of 10 with 80# and one set with 90. I cannot do complete range of motion with 90#-- I forced it and did what I could. I'd love to be able to pull 100# on that one of these days.

I read (I think in Arnold's old Body Building book) a few months ago about occasionally forcing yourself through things even if you can't complete more than one or two reps. That's pretty much how I brought my numbers up the machines before I started this program.

Anyway, I have been spot-on with my food and calories and I've been fitting more cardio into my schedule-- so I hope these efforts show up in the scale.

I have my colonoscopy a week from tomorrow, February 1, and have my mammography the following day. Since I'll have to fast for the colonoscopy anyway, I was thinking of morphing that into either a short fast of a few days or a longer modified fast of a week or so (with just protein shakes and water).

I haven't done either of these since July and I've had success with this at earlier points of my journey. It clears my head and my whole system out. Last time I did it an annoying rash that I had for years disappeareed and hasn't returned.

Anyway, I'll let you know if I decide to do this. I hope that you had a great weekend! I got to spend quality time with Jeff, got caught up with work stuff and got in a bunch of exercise, so I am stoked for great week this week!

Be good to you today!

Perfect Ten Update #3, Today's Workout, and running, running running........

2010-01-22T08:46:00.000-08:00

It's time for my third Perfect Ten update! I have not once been late in posting my updates and I am VERY proud of that.

I realized something today that makes this challenge even more special to me. The end of the challenge coincides with my one year anniversary of starting on this journey. That makes me more determined than ever to really kick butt during the coming weeks!

MY PERFECT TEN CHALLENGES

1) Begin the NROL4W program (THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN - LIFT LIKE A MAN, LOOK LIKE A GODDESS). I just completed my third week on this program, making me half-way through the break-in phase.

I wanted to mention that, my arms, especially the triceps are one of my problem areas. So I've been throwing everything at them but the kitchen sink for the past 7 months with very little improvement.

All of a sudden I see/feel a BIG difference in the strength/muscularity there and I KNOW that the push-ups and the heavier weights are creating these changes. These exercises that I am doing are standard, foundation-building exercises that body builders have been using for decades. There's nothing fancy-pants or new fangled about it.

It figures that putting aside the gimmicky stuff and and putting some honest work into the basics is getting me the results I've been longing for! The work outs are difficult, but the results spur me on and I am eager to see how things go in the coming weeks and months.

2) Begin Training for the New Haven Road Race: This has not been going well. Between the weather, illness and an overwhelming schedule I have only been averaging one walk/jog of about a mile, once per week. I HAVE been working the backs of my thighs like crazy though, as this is supposed to be good for female runners.

Today, I got up early to take care of some business and household things and get a good groove going on my day so that I could get outside. This worked! I went out this morning and did my two-mile jogging interval routine and I was able to run for at least half of it!

I worked up a good sweat there, came home and rested a bit, then launched right into my weight lifting routine! I was a bit off on my food earlier in the week. I was feeling anxious and eating a bit more than I should. I am back on track now on all fronts and feelin' good!

3) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the challenge. Although I am not weighing myself until my monthly progress report (about a week from now) I feel confident that I've gone down a bit and that I will have no trouble reaching this goal.

4) Improve sleep habits: My dog getting sick and keeping me up all night, then getting a bad cold had my sleep all messed up for about two weeks. This week, (knock on wood) I was able to fall asleep at a reasonable hour most nights. I hope the trend continues.

Now, for something that you probably don't know about me. I was in my thirties before I learned to drive. I don't like driving. I only do it when I have to.

Before I go on to post today's work-out, take a gander at this "before" pic of me that I came across yesterday when I was searching for photos for my garden post.

Holy crap! Look at how fat my arms, legs and gut are! Jeepers creepers-- if this doesn't keep me on track, nothing will!

Also kids, just wanted to note that I removed my weekly fitness totals from the sidebar on the right and replaced it with monthly inches lost. I post my workouts now both here and on the Daily Mile, so it is redundant to have that on the sidebar.

Today's Workout

Warm up - Yoga stretches

Squat
12/90#
12/90#

Push Ups (30 degree)
12
12

Step-ups with DBs (18" Box)
12/25#
12/25#

BB Bent over rows
12/90#
12/90#

Side bends with 25# plate
10
10
10
10

Single-arm, DB Skull Crusher
10/25#
10/25#

DB Preacher curls

10/25#
10/25#

Crunches
50
50

Leg Lifts
20
20

Cool down - Yoga and old school floor exercises -- mainly for flexibility

I upped the weight for the squats, step-ups and rows, and it was at the upper limit of my abilities. I could barely rack the barbell after the squats and as I was coming up on my last rep I could barely get my body to come back up.

So, I have reached that stage where I am not going to be making giant gains in strength from work-out to work out. I will have to increase the weight periodically to improve, but it won't be as frequent.

This is a good thing! It's a sign that you're moving out of the "beginner" phase when strength gains are rapid.

Anyway, I feel good heading into the weekend! I'm on track with the food and the exercise and I am feeling strong inside and out!

How was your Perfect Ten week?

xoxox

The Long-Promised Tour of My Garden

2010-01-21T06:30:00.000-08:00

Greetings friends! I've been promising you a tour of my garden for 6-months! It's about time I kept my promise to you. This post will show the evolution of our property, at least in part; and give you a glimpse of our garden. So come on in and I'll make you some mint and bergamont tea with herbs from my garden.

Oh yes, you noticed our nifty sign. We are very proud of that. We had our property certified as an urban wildlife sanctuary through the Humane Society.

Habitat loss is a major threat to our native birds. As a result, 50% of Connecticut’s native bird species are declining, and 17% are on the State’s Endangered, Threatened and Special Concern list. That is: 50 out of 290 regularly or annually occurring bird species in Connecticut are State-listed.

Bees, via pollination, are responsible for 15 to 30 percent of the food U.S. consumers eat. But in the last 50 years the domesticated honeybee population—which most farmers depend on for pollination—has declined by about 50 percent, scientists say. Unless actions are taken to slow the decline of domesticated honeybees and augment their populations with wild bees, many fruits and vegetables may disappear from the food supply.

What can you do? With a little effort, you can improve your property’s usefulness as a wildlife habitat, while at the same time preserving plants that are native to your state.

You don’t need a lot of space to create a garden that supports wildlife, propagates indigenous plants, and helps to increase wild honeybee populations. Later on, I'll steer you towards info on getting your property prepared and certified. It is easy and is a great thing to do! Let's continue our tour, shall we?

We bought our house during the winter, 7 years ago. It had been abandoned for 5-years at the time that we bought it and it was in terrible shape. The inside had to be gutted to the studs and completely remodeled. Inside, everything is new--- but that is another story. Today's tour is about my garden.

On the outside it was also a hideous mess. This house is on a corner lot, so we have a neighbor to the right, but not on the left. The left-hand side of the property is slightly elevated, as you will see in other pics.

See that white van in the front driveway? Well, as a corner lot, this house originally had no driveway there. The original driveway was on the left side of the property near an old detached garage.

At some point in the history of the house, someone thought it would be a great idea to make another driveway in the front and to make it curl around the house and join the other driveway, so that you could actually drive in one way and exit the other.

While they were at it, they went nuts with the asphalt and concrete, and extended it ALL OVER the property. There was not one speck of grass in the backyard, it was all asphalt and concrete in shitty condition, with weeds growing out of the cracks. HIDEOUS.

One of our first "VISIONS" for the property was to get rid of the asphalt, build a deck on that side of the house, and to enclose everything with a fence both for privacy and to contain our dogs.

So my husband went out there in the spring and started breaking up the asphalt with a sledge hammer and crow bars. Yes, he did this himself. The man is insane. Ya gotta love him.

See the mostly dead tree in the pic above? That was growing on the fence line so we had that and a few others cut down, then DH rented a stump grinder from Home Depot and ground the stump down so that it wouldn't interfere with making the fence.

This pic shows where the asphalt driveway curled around the back side of the house and met the other driveway on the side. The gate where you came in is in this spot now, it's how you enter the yard from the side or the back. The driveway leading up to this on the side is all that remains of the original asphalt and concrete.

This shows the process started of breaking up the asphalt driveway. YIKES! My Dh is a madman. What did we do with all of that concrete and asphalt once Jeff broke it up?

We found a company that gives special deals on dumpsters if all that is going in it is asphalt and concrete-- as they recycle it and use it to repair roads. So we had a DUMPSTER FILLING PARTY during a July heat wave. Want to know who your true friends are-- have a dumpster-filling party in 95 degree heat and see who shows up.

We all wore work gloves and filled wheelbarrows with asphalt and then emptied them into the dumpsters. It took two days. Half a dozen friends stayed. Bless their hearts. My garden will ALWAYS be their garden too.

Here's Zeke in the former driveway with the asphalt removed. And the dead tree has been cut down- you can see the stump still there in this shot. Yeah! Progress!

This shows the front of the house with the driveway removed and the privacy fence started. Obviously, the deck hasn't been built yet. It is now and is connected to the house on this side. There is now another section of gate going across the front at about the point where the enclosed porch connects to the house. The front path extends up to the gate, which has flowers growing all around it. Thus, at this point, you can't see into our backyard from the street and the dogs cannot get out of that area as there are fences installed at any point where they could escape.

Here are two views of the side yard BEFORE the dry stone retaining wall was put in. When we bought the house, there were railroad ties along the area of elevation. They were ancient and loaded with graffiti. When DH removed them, the soil had been in that position for so long that it just stayed like that.

This is the left side of the property, the corner side. You can't see it in the pic of the house that I put at the beginning.

I ALWAYS wanted a house on a corner lot because of the landscaping opportunity. It is like having two front yards. When I first looked at this property, I could "see" a circular path here, with a huge center garden and flowers growing along the retaining wall and spilling over the sides. I could see it. I wanted it. And I did it!

Jeff working on extending the retaining wall around the front of the house to enclose front flower bed. You can see in the background that my magical garden hadn't been created yet.

Here's a view of the side of the house after the retaining wall was finished and the garden started. In order to make my "magical garden" I had to dig up all of the grass and weeds over every square inch of this elevated side yard. Your amazon did this, a little bit each day, all by herself, when she was at her heaviest. Yes, I really wanted this.

Neighbors would drive by and stop. "What are ya doing?," they'd ask. "Well," I'd reply, "I'm digging up my lawn to make a magical, circular garden." They'd drive away scratching their heads. Thus we were identified as the neighborhood freaks almost from the moment we moved in.

At present, the circular path is complete and has off-shoots that connect it to the remaining driveway in back and a path in front of the house. There's a small pond too and several places to sit.

I love a "wild" look -- sort of English cottage style. I planted a lot of indigenous flowers and also stuff that supports bees, hummingbirds, song birds and other critters.

Intermixed with the flowers, most of them perennial, are my veggies and herbs, places to sit, annual flowers in pots, and other treasures. Angels, gargoyles, fairies and whimsical garden statues peek out from among the plants and surprise you as you turn corners and explore the plantings.

Tall flowers such as Pacific Giant Delphiniums and climbing vines such as clematis are against the house on this side. The circle includes a lot of easy care plants such as Black-eyed Susan's, Cone flowers, and the like. There are bird feeding stations among the plants and chipmunks have turned the retaining wall into a condo. They scurry around eating seeds that the birds drop and they are so cute!

Stone retaining wall from side. The gutters on our house actually connect to pipes which go underground and exit here above the storm drain in the street. Our basement FLOODS otherwise. Yours truly helped to dig the trench for this. I don't know how I didn't have a stroke at friggen 430 pounds.

The fence and part of the deck. Those Roses are called "Don Juan" and they are so beautiful.

Back in 1993, Jeff made me two of these benches out of kits he bought at Lowes. One finally broke last year but this one is hanging on. I've tried to make this a three-season garden by planting things that flower at different times. We have beauty out here from early spring until late fall. My no-care, "Freedom" roses often have blooms on Thanksgiving that I cut for our table.

A few statues in the bird feeding area. See the plant in the upper left that is enclosed? That is comfry and it gets GIANT! It is one of the healthiest plants in the garden. I have to enclose it or it sprawls out and smothers everything around it. It gets delicate purple flowers in spring and is so beautiful. There's a white dove in this pic. Do you see her?

Ribbon grass. It is pretty, but the stuff is invasive and I have been trying to thin it out every year. The red thing hanging from the pole is a hummingbird feeder. They are vacationing down south now and will be back soon!

Spiderwort and Iris, both of which I have in abundance.

I was a city girl and grew up in housing projects and tenaments. It turns out that I love gardening far more than I ever dreamed I would. Gardening enables you to work in partnership with God and nature to create something beautiful. It teaches you patience. The garden is different every year as I don't know where the squirrells might have replanted my bulbs or where seeds have replanted from the wind.

I Love this Rake lady. I got her at the Christmas Tree shop

I LOVE lavender and over the years I keep planting varieties that are supposed to be perrenniel here, but they NEVER grow back. Luckily, it is cheap to plant every year. You can't beat the smell!

Along the privacy fence, I planted roses and flowers. I used leftover stone from the retaining wall to close-in my flower beds elsewhere on the property. In spring, I have a hellava time keeping the dogs out of the freshly emerging plants in these beds. Along this fence, only the strong survive!

I always loved the look of morning glories and tried every year to grow some but I always failed until two years ago. Sadly, these are an annual, at least here. So these won't come back. I may plant more this year. These got so healthy that I had to trim them to maintain access to the gate.

For awhile, I tried to grow herbs in the back. That area is fenced-in so the dogs cannot get loose when they are outside. I could not keep Zeke out of my herbs in spite of the signs you see in my little patch here. LOL Those ceramic "no pooping" doggie signs are hilarious close-up. I'll take better pics of them for you in the spring. I painted a piece of slate with "Zeke Keep Out." Can you see it in there? Anyway, I gave up. Only flowers in the back--nothing I'm gonna eat because of the dogs.

A view of part of the circle in the spring. See the chives with the purple flowers? Very yummy to pick them fresh! I replaced the woodchips in the path with stone last year. I can see this area from my kitchen window and most of the bird feeders are around here. In the winter, I watch the birds feedng outside and dream of spring and tending my garden.

You can see a bird in the platform feeder. This is in the side yard.

My beloved Zeke in backyard with view of roses and flowers along privacy fence. This is after Jeff built the deck as you can see the steps leading up to it on the right.

Yellow Roses along privacy fence.

I told you I'd explain about urban wildlife sanctuaries in case you want to do it. You can live ANYWHERE and do it-- a farm in Nebraska, a condo in New York, a house in California--anywhere!

The HSUS Urban Wildlife Sanctuary Program fosters a greater understanding and appreciation of wildlife in urban areas by encouraging stewardship practices that improve conditions for wild animals, and by promoting humane solutions for resolving human-wildlife conflicts, when they occur.

Last I knew, it costs $25 for a homeowner to have their property certified as an Urban Wildlife Sanctuary, and you get a nice metal sign to display on your property like the one I have on my gate. You may apply online. The size of your property does not matter.

Here is the criteria that your property must meet in order to be approved:

Ideally, there would be some type of naturally occurring food such as trees, bushes or berries.

Feeders for birds, humming birds or squirrels are also a plus

There must be a water source, it does not have to be natural, a small birdbath is fine

There must be at least one type of cover or living space. Mature trees are ideal, but rock piles and piles of brush are acceptable, as chipmunks will live in them. Ponds, nesting boxes, and hedgerows are also acceptable.

People in condos can make the area on the small patch of grass outside their door or even on their balcony or patio. Stawberries and flowers can be grown in pots on a porch, patio or balcony, a dish of water can be a water source, and any mature trees on the condo grounds near your unit should qualify as habitat.

That's it. You fill out the questionaire, pay, and you get your certification in the mail. Wanna check it out? Visit this link:

http://www.hsus.org/wildlife/wildlife_and_habitat_protection_programs/urban_wildlife_sanctuary_program.html

Part of the circular path in the side yard.

Our garden is so dramatic now when it's in full bloom that cars come to a complete stop to check it out. Some actually get out of their cars to ask for a tour or ask about particular flowers.

One lady lives a block over but comes home by driving by our house so she can see the garden. Now that the dream has come alive, people understand what I was trying to do and they appreciate it. The lady digging up her lawn by hand doesn't seem quite as crazy anymore.

Our garden is a gift, not only to ourselves and to the wildlife it supports, but to our community as well. Everyone gets to enjoy it as they walk or drive by and we've inspired many others to garden!

By the way, our garden is completely organic, including the organic top soil and cow poop we had delivered by a local organic farmer when we got started. We are trying to heal this little piece of earth. Certain pesticides render butterlies sterile. We don't use chemicals of any kind on our property.

We also planted milkweed because butterflies like to lay their eggs there. This worked, when we sit out in the yard during the summer there are dozens of butterlies flying around.

I hope that you enjoyed your tour. I will post updated photos as my garden comes alive this year and I plant new things-- which, I always do!

Here's a government website where you can look up indigenous and endangered plants in your state:

http://plants.usda.gov/

And another that is about gardening for wildlife:

http://www.gardening-for-wildlife.com/index.html

A good book is Douglas Tallamy's "Bringing Nature Home: How Native Plants Sustain Wildlife in Our Gardens" (2007, Timber Press), which brings into sharp focus the relationships between plants and wildlife.

I have to get on with my day but feel free to rest in the bench above and dream of spring! And if you need any gardening tips, you know where to find me.

Tuesday's Work out, Getting a (gulp) colonoscopy, and other fun stuff

2010-01-19T11:18:00.000-08:00

The journey to health and fitness
Should be taken
Because you love yourself,
Not because you hate your body

Today was a work-out day and I DID it! Before I launch into recording that and other exercise-related stuff, let me say that when I went to my new doctor at the end of last year, he asked me if I'd ever had a colonoscopy (no), mammography (no), Bone density test (no), chest x-ray (no). And he wanted to know when I had my last eye exam (5 years ago) and pap smear (about 15 years ago, right before DH got himself fixed and I said 'goodbye' to birth control pills) (Yeah, I know, I know, PLEASE spare me the lectures. How many 430 pound women do you now who go to a gyn doc?).

And so I agreed with the doc that we'd start tackling these things one or two at a time. It was in all of the initial blood work that we discovered my hypothyroidism. So I like this guy. Anyway, I have an initial appointment tomorrow with a gastro doc about getting the colonoscopy. This isn't the procedure, it is the preliminary appointment.

Your amazon is scared. Why? Well, on my dad's side, two people died of cancer that started this way. Also, on dad's side, I had a half-sister whom I never knew. We were separated when my parents divorced when I was 3.

I searched for her as an adult--but she died of breast cancer before I found her. So, on mom's side, no one gets cancer. On dad's side, everyone does. So this and the mammography scare me. This is stupid, I know. It's not like if there WERE a problem, ignoring it would make it go away.

Anyway, my preliminary for the colonoscopy is tomorrow and my mammography is February 2nd -- ground hog day. LOL. I will post after my appointment tomorrow. Please send calming thoughts my way. This isn't easy for me. I'd rather do ten extra sets of box step-ups-- that's how much I don't wanna go. LOL

I haven't posted about this before-- I guess I was giving myself room to chicken out and not go- then none of you would be the wiser. But I guess I gotta do this and I am making myself accountable for it just like the exercise and weight loss by posting it here.

Anyway, moving on....... Quite awhile ago I read a post or a blog somewhere by a guy who had previously been really obese, then he started a weight lifting program and now looks great.

Anyway, he talked about how one of the hardest things about body building for someone coming from a high weight is that it is a LONG, LONG time before you can actually "see" the muscles you are developing because of all of the fat covering them.

You work your *ss off but have to trust that things are progressing as they should because your muscles are hidden. Boy, have I found this to be true.

Take my arms for example. When I first started working my triceps and biceps 6 months ago (with ten # weights)it took awhile, but gradually, I could feel a tiny amount of muscle there when I'd flex. Here we are now and I can hammer my arms with heavier weights--plus the push-ups and other exercises are helping. And when I flex and feel my arms, I can feel a THICK amount of muscle in the triceps, biceps, and deltoids.

Yet, when I look at myself in the mirror, my arms look the same as any other woman who has another 80 pounds to lose. No one would guess by looking at me that I can run a mile or lift heavy weights. I don't yet look like someone who can do this.

Certainly not all of the time, but some days, doing this on faith without any visual reward for all of my effort is HARD. To go to the gym and see that you are working 2 or 3 times as hard as people half your size yet don't look anywhere near as good as they do is irritating and disappointing.

I try to keep a positive and upbeat attitude and to focus on my strengths and the weight loss progress I have made, which is massive. Most of the time, I just keep looking ahead and do what I must do. But I am a human being, subject to "bad days" when I can't be a cheer leader; and on those days, not looking better than I do after all of the work that I put in really sucks.

So if you're coming from a high weight, you're going to have to accept that you will get stronger and fitter LONG before it shows on the outside. We cannot give up though! We must persist!

Today's Work out:

Warm up - Yoga stretches

Dead Lift
12/125
12/125

DB Shoulder press
12/25
12/25

Lunges
12/10
12/10

Side bends with 25# plate
12
12
12
12
12
12

Pullover
12/30
12/30

Crunches
50
50

Leg Lifts
20
20
20

DB curls
8/25#
10/25#

I changed the way I do the cruches and leg lifts so that there are more reps per set to make it harder.

Also, with the DB shoulder press. I am simply not as strong with this movement as I am with others. I upped the weight from 20# to 25# today and I barely made it through the 2nd set. Yet, look at how much I can pull or lift otherwise.

I was looking through the NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN book to see what I'll be doing in future phases of the program-- and the next four stages incorporate a lot of balance work--- such as one-legged dead lifts and squats; and also compound movements that are difficult-- such as, instead of just doing step-ups onto the box holding weights, I'll have to do overhead presses at the top of the movement- which means stepping up on one leg and going into the press-- the press and the step-ups are already hard for me --when they are combined it will be killer!

I can't see myself with this kind of balance and strength but I've been told by other women who have completed the program that you vastly improve over time. I'll keep you posted. I will be half-way through phase one as of Thursday and I already feel a lot stronger.

Hope you're all doing well!

Tonight is biggest loser night. I'll be crying in front of my TV!

xoxoxoxoxox

Today's Work-out

2010-01-17T15:08:00.000-08:00

I did not want to work-out today. Having the cold all week (I am better today, btw) and Zeke and DH being sick last week put me behind on a lot of other stuff I must do. I wanted to spend the day playing catch-up. BUT, the work-out is only an hour if I stay on task and don't allow a lot of rest between sets. And I do want to stay on target with my exercise. So I just did it-- and I am glad!

Today's Work-out

Warm-up - a few Yoga stretches

Squat
12/85#
12/85#

Push-ups (45 degree)
12
12

Bent-over rows
12/85#
12/85#

Step-ups (18" box)
12/20#
12/20#
12/20#
12/20#

DB chest Press
12/30#
12/30#

Leg Lifts
15
15
15

Crunches
25
25
25
25

Side bends with 25# plate20
20
20
20
20

Skull Crushers
12/30
12/30

I feel stronger each time I work out!

New awards! Thanks so much!

2010-01-16T07:56:00.000-08:00

Hope you're all having a great weekend. Believe it or not, I STILL have my cold. I normally have a strong immune system against these things and either don't get them or get a much milder version than what everyone else gets. I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Monday and overall, feel pretty gross. Enough is enough already, so I hope I feel better tomorrow.

On a more cheerful note, several of my blogging buddies gave me awards this week. I just went through my comments and I THINK that I have accurately sorted out who gave me what. But if I missed you, please bring it to my attention, as I want to give everyone their props!

Kat over at FitMindBodyspirit and Patsy over at Musings of a 100-plus Weight Loss Journey both gave me the HAPPY 101 award. Thank you ladies!

As always, there are instructions that come along with this award:

1. Copy the image and display it on your blog.

2. List 10 things that make you happy.

3. Try to do at least one of them today.

4. Pass on the award to 10 bloggers who brighten your day.

First, the 10 Things that make me happy:

1) My husband. He really is a great guy.

2) Having a spiritual life.

3) Gardening! I love my garden. I promised you a virtual tour of it long time ago and have yet to do it; so I will get to that soon. Promise!

4) Music. I love music. Can't imagine life without it!

5) Books. It is amazing what having a written language enables you to record for the future. And I love to read. I totally enter the world of the book when I read a story and can "see" everything so vividly. When I meet people who don't like to read or who CAN'T read, I always feel so sorry for them.

6) My blogging friends. Sorta matches up with number 5. I honestly feel like some of you are such good writers that the essence of "you", the "youness" of you comes through in your blog, and that if I could sit with you and talk, you wouldn't be like a stranger to me at all.

7) Exercise. I can't believe I am putting this here, but it is true.

8) Dogs. I really love em'! If you came home late and woke people in the house, everyone would be angry with you except the dog. Day or night, they are overjoyed to see you no matter what the hour. It could be three in the morning but they will run up to you all sleepy-eyed and waggy saying, "OMG, OMG, I am so happy to see you." The humans say "You woke me up as*hole." So, we have a lot to learn from the furry kids. They know what's important.

9) Cooking. I am good at it. If I weren't, the way I need to eat from now on would get pretty boring. Lately, I have been trying to produce at least one restaurant-quality meal (in taste and presentation) at least once a week. I've been turning out some beautiful stuff and DH is lovin' it.

10) Food. Kinda matches number 9. Lately I have been trying to train myself to appreciate foods as they are given to us by God and nature, without being messed with by humans. How can we bite into a piece of fresh pineapple and not feel joy? Foods, as they are, are a gift to nourish us and bring us joy. We mess with perfection and ruin it with chemicals and processing. So I am trying to keep it simple and have some gratitude, and this makes me happier.

Now I must pass this award on to 10 people/blogs who have impacted my life in a positive way:

266

Chris at A Deliberate Life

Helen at Doing a 180

Leslie at Something Brilliant is Brewing

Aubrey at High-Heeled Love

Kristina at Life Won't Weight

Cinci Mom at Losing the Baby Weight

Greta at Big Bottom Blogger

Ruth Anne at From Flab to Fab

Candace over at Believing in C, C is Me

Whew! That takes care of award number 1! Now on to award number 2.

The Beautiful Blogger award. This one was given to me by Ruth Anne, Candace and Helen. Thank you ladies!

The rules dictate that I tell you 7 things about me that you probably don't already know. Then, I have to pass it on to 7 recipients.

Here are the seven things you probably don't know about me:

1) I am the only daughter of an only daughter of an only daughter.

2) I had identicle triplet boys when I was only 20-years old

3) I became a widow when they were only three-years old

4) If I eat without drinking something with it, I get the hiccups, without fail! Even if it is a tiny bite.

5) I donated my breast milk to the neo natal intensive care unit at Yale New Haven Hospital for about 6-months after the triplets were born. They fed it via tubes to the preemies whose mom's couldn't give their milk.

7) When I was still young, I offered to have a baby for a fertility-challenged
couple at my church. We actually went through counseling for it together. It didn't happen because they were afraid I'd have triplets again and they didn't want that. LOL

Now, the seven recipients:

Paula Wanna Crackern

Sandra over at My travels to Becoming a Better Me

Purple Moonflower over at It's not a diet, it's a WEIGH of life

The Sweet Tooth Obliteration Operation

Patsy at Musings on a 100-plus weight loss journey (right back at ya, sistah!)

Christy in Seattle

Tamzin at One Inch at a Time

Ok, so I think that covers it. Thanks you for giving these to me ladies. It was not an easy week and these brightened my day!

It is over 40 degrees today! If DH can get home from work early enough we are going for a walk! Enjoy your weekend!

xox

Perfect Ten Update #2

2010-01-15T18:35:00.000-08:00

It's time for my second PERFECT TEN update!

MY PERFECT TEN CHALLENGES

1) Begin the NROL4W program (THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN - LIFT LIKE A MAN, LOOK LIKE A GODDESS). I just completed my second week on this program in spite of a difficult week. One of my dogs was in the vet hospital and I came down with a cold, so I ended up doing two of the workouts in one day in order to stay on track-- but I pulled it off and that's what's important.

The push-ups and the heavier weights are already creating changes that I can feel, so I am psyched!

2) Begin Training for the New Haven Road Race: I only did jogging intervals once this week, again. But given the week I had, I am not concerned. Also, the road race is 9 months away so I have plenty of time to train for it. For the next few months, the weights will be my priority. My fitness week ends on Saturday so I may try to get some jogging intervals in tomorrow--but if not, Sunday begins a new week.

3) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the challenge. Incredibly, I already lost half of this with the nice drop I had this week. I may end up increasing this goal to 30 pounds to keep myself focused.

4) Improve sleep habits: My sleep got all messed up when my dog got sick and I was up all night with him vomiting. I went in and out of bad sleeping all week because of that and difficulty breathing because of the head cold. Hoping to get back on track over the weekend.

Now, I am supposed to reveal something you probably don't know about me. I am tired and still battling my cold so I will make it an easy one this week. I LOVE music of all kinds and I have an uncanny ability for remembering useless facts. So I KNOW who sang all of the one-hit wonders from the 60's, 70's 80's, the names of the band members, where they are from, who wrote the song, etc.

I am famous for this where my husband works. If a song comes on and they don't know who is singing it, they call me and ask me. Everyone tells me if there were a show like "Jeopardy" for music, I would kick ass. People always try to stump me but it rarely happens.

I still have my cold so I will end this here. I wannted to stay on track with my updates and really nail this challenge!

Nursing a bad cold, yet bearing good news. Plus, today's work out!

2010-01-14T12:56:00.000-08:00

As you know from my last post, I caught Jeff's cold and I have been miserable. I decided yesterday to give myself a "pajama day." I just sat around and layed around in a pair of cotton lounge pants and an old sweatshirt.

I went channel surfing and found where the previous episodes of the Biggest Loser are on demand on cable, so I watched a few of last season and the Thanksgiving special they aired-- which I had missed because we had company. I don't watch much TV and honestly didn't know I could watch prior episodes on demand.

I was hopeful that today I would get up and at least my nose would be unplugged, but no, still have to breathe through my mouth no matter what medicine I take. It is SO annoying and inconvenient.

So your amazon sat around in her extra long "jammies," smelling like Vick's Vaporub, sipping grapefruit juice, chugging Dayquill, blowing her nose and watching people on TV cry and lose weight.

So what is my good news? Well, if you follow my blog you know that I generally don't weigh myself because I can get compulsive about it. But I recently joined a 6-month women's fitness challenge that will require me to weigh, measure and post photos once a month-- so we dragged out the scale for that.

I woke up this morning feeling, A) still sicker than I wanted to be, which sucked, but B) I felt somehow "lighter," and markedly so. I HAD to know so I stepped on the scale and was shocked to see that I lost about ten pounds in the past two weeks or so since I last weighed.

I was thinking, "This can't be right. The scale must be off." So I got out the tape measure. I'll be darned! I lost an inch off my waist, an inch off my hips and half an inch off my arms. My chest stayed the same. I am in awe!

Some combination of tweaking my diet, the thyroid meds and my new exercise program caused a nice little drop! When I started that thyroid med I did nothing but wiz for about a week so I am sure that a lot of this was water weight, but STILL, this was a nice little morale booster-- especially since I am sick and feel like crap otherwise.

Today is a work out day and since I can barely breathe, I planned to skip it and just have another jammie day. But today's work out is "work out B" which is the easier of the two that I alternate and doesn't take long if you stay on task, so I decided to just push myself through it, even if it means that I do nothing else today (which I haven't).

So I pushed myself through the work out and was shocked to see strength gains in areas I didn't expect. Here's today's session with "the beast":

Warm up - A few simple yoga stretches, a few squats with BW only

Deadlift:
12/125#
12/125# (up from 105#)

DB Shoulder Press:
12/20#
12/20#

Pullover
15/30#
15/30#

Lunges:
15/bw
15/10# DBs
15/10# DBs
15/10# DBs

Crunches:
25
25
25
25
25

Leg Lifts:
15
15
15

Side-bends with 25# plate:
15
15
20
20
20
20

Preacher Curls:
12/30#
12/30#

Single-arm DB skull crusher:
12/30#
12/30#
12/30#
12/30#

Cool down: A few more stretches and old school floor exercises

I've been trying to up my bicep/preacher curls from 20 to 25#. I have a variety of DBs set up around "the beast" (my weight bench) and when I did the preacher curls today, I grabbed what I thought was a 25# DB, but I grabbed the wrong one, I grabbed the 30# one by mistake, but didn't notice until I was done. So I actually did two sets on each arm with that 30# weight.

Once I realized my mistake, I was shocked that I managed such a jump in weight on a small muscle group, especially while sick. Inspired, I tried to use the 30# DB to do the single-arm skull crushers. I DID IT. This definitely brought me to "failure" at the end of each set-- but I am thrilled, as the triceps is a trouble zone for me and it felt good to hit it with enough weight to really hammer it into submission.

I remember the day not too long ago when I thought I was hot shit for doing triceps kickbacks with 10# DBs. Those days are gone now. As DH says, "I've passed gas that weighs more than those pink Barbie DBs." LOL

Note that I also did over 100 crunches today and also increased the number of leg lifts and weighted side bends--- I was inspired by my nice little drop around the middle- my biggest trouble zone.

A few of my blogging buddies have been kind enough to give me awards. Along with my little drop in weight, it was so nice to receive such kindness and morale boosters while sick. I want to treat these with the gratitude and attention they deserve so I will wait till the weekend when I am hopefully feeling better to read about the awards and learn how to pass them along appropriately. So expect a post on that Saturday or Sunday.

Tomorrow will be reserved for my Perfect Ten update. I want to post on that when I am supposed to and not slack like I did with the Hot 100. I am going to rub some vicks on and go back to my easy chair and my remote. I am dying to get caught up on your blogs and will do so tomorrow.

Thank you all! You are amazing people and your support contributes greatly to my success. I want to return that to you with as much abundance as I can! Be good to you today!

XOXOXO
XOX
X

Today's Work Out and Other Stuff

2010-01-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

First I'm gonna whale on my pecs, then I'm gonna work on my back!

DH came down with a cold/sore throat starting Friday night and stayed home from work yesterday because of it. Now, I have it. We didn't go to the gym Sunday because of Jeff feeling sick and from being emotionally shot over Zeke being in the doggie hospital.

So, I really HAD to work out today no matter what! So I took a big dose of dayquil and mosied downstairs figuring I'd at least do the major lifts. I decided to do the squats, lunges and step-ups first because those kill me the most.

Our housemate, whose room is also on the ground floor, came into the room and starting yakking with me asking how much I am lifting, how many exercises I do, blah, blah, blah.....

There I am in a sports bra and spandex tights, with all my flab hanging out, giving her grunts and one-word answers, trying to drop the hint that this is private, quality time with myself. She just wouldn't get the hint.

To make a long story short she kept leaving and coming back into the room-- so my work out took me almost 4 hours. Yes, I did a DOUBLE work out today-- as I did both the work out I missed Sunday AND the one I was scheduled to do today.

I am sick, trying to focus-- and have someone pissing in my ear the whole time. When I came back upstairs to my computer, (with my lunch and some grapefruit juice) I realized that it is friggen 4 in the afternoon and I am just now having my lunch.

So, although it might be RUDE, next time, I am going to have to tell her that I cannot talk until my work out is done and I eat afterwards. If she keeps talking, I will have to come out and tell her to MAKE LIKE A TREE AND LEAVE, MAKE LIKE A BIRD AND GET THE FLOCK OUT, Make like a........... well, you get the idea.

Here's today's work out (remember, this is a double because I missed Sunday)

Warm up - Yoga stretches

Squat
12/75#
12/75#

Push Up (45 degrees)
15
15

Bent Over BB Row
15/65 #
15/65 #

Step ups (18" box)
15/20#
15/20#

DB Pullovers
15/30#
15/30#

Side bends holding 25# plate
15/25#
15/25#
15/25#
15/25#

Crunches
25
25
25

Leg Lifts
15
15

Deadlift
15/105#
15/105#

DB Shoulder Press
15/ 20#
15/20#

Lunges
15/bw
15/bw

Cool Down - floor exercises with only BW and some yoga postures.

Note that I increased my weight with the squat, deadlift and bent over row since my last workout. I upped my deadlift from 85# to 105#, bent over row from 50# to 65# and squat from 65# to 75#.

Last time I worked out, I didn't feel as though I challenged myself enough and if I'm not gonna do that, I am wasting my time. So this nudge upwards made a difference and this time I could feel it in the backs of my legs when I deadlifted.

Yeah baby, that's what I'm talkin' about! Chickzilla is on the loose!

I have worked out in the past but never with any definitive program, never with any consistency, and never with the ever-increasing resistance needed to see real results. In other words, I was just fooling around, as hard as that is to admit.

So I really didn't know what to expect from this. I thought it would be months before I would notice that I got stronger, months to see a difference-- but, NO, I can see and feel it already and I am SHOCKED!

My arms and legs look fatter and that pissed me of at first, but actually, the new muscle underneath is pushing against the fat and making it seem like I am fatter, but of course, I am not./

I have been able to increase the weight at regular intervals, way beyond what I anticipated when I started. This is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I am glad I started lifting and I am glad I joined the women's challenge.

Gonna go sip more grapefruit juice and swallow more Dayquill! Be good to you today!

xoxox

Rough Weekend -- My dog was in Hospital

2010-01-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

We had a rough weekend. On Friday night, our dog Zeke starting vomiting shortly after supper and kept it up all night till almost 4am-- I was up with him.

He finally went to sleep at about 4 and when I got up at noon, I found that DH had fed him before going out to do some carpentry work for a friend that morning, and that set off a new round of vomiting.

I found vomit in three places around the house, so I called our vet and was instructed to bring Zeke in. To make a long story short, they wanted to give him some IV fluids and something to settle his stomach, and then keep him overnight, so we agreed. Not only for his sake, but for mine, I didn't want to be up all night again, cleaning vomit. (turned out I couldn't sleep anyway because of worry, but that's another story)

In the morning we agreed that he would remain there throughout Sunday being fed small amounts of a prescription food, and if he held that down until the end of the day, he could come home.

That worked, and he is back home with a four-day supply of his RX food and some Pepcid, which he has twice a day. Last night I slept well for the first time since Thursday night. So far, so good.

DH took today off as he came down with a cold in the middle of all of this- added to the stress of the dog, I think he just needed a day. Anyway, we took Zeke and Beau on a quick jaunt through the woods, off-leash. Zeke zoomed around and seemed to be feeling great. I did some jogging intervals and it felt good to be moving as we missed the gym Sunday from being fried over Zeke.

It was only about a mile but the snow made it hard to do-- like running in the sand. The fresh air was great too and it was not that cold today. It was good to enjoy that together.

I hated leaving Zeke at the vet as he was a rescue and the kennels there are like the dog pound. I was afraid he would think he had been abandoned again. It broke my heart to leave him.

You've never seen such a happy dog when we came to pick him up. The vet tech said when he heard our voices, he went ape-shit. When he got home, he went through the whole house smelling everything to see if anything good happened while he was gone.

This morning, DH and I cleaned out our bedroom closets together and then brought a whole bunch of stuff to Goodwill. I have plenty on room for new clothes in SMALLER sizes now!

Anyway, I tried to upload some pics of Zeke, cuddled up next to his "daddy" but I can't get the google photo uploader to work today.

Tomorrow, I will probably do both the work-out I missed Sunday and the one that I would normally do on Tuesdays, to get myself caught up. Believe it or not I can see and feel changes in my body already.

Hope you all had a good weekend!

Perfect Ten Challenge, Perfect Work out, Perfect Day

2010-01-08T13:46:00.000-08:00

It's time for my first weekly Perfect Ten Challenge report!

MY PERFECT TEN CHALLENGES

1) Begin the NROL4W program (THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN - LIFT LIKE A MAN, LOOK LIKE A GODDESS). This program requires 3 work outs a week and I completed my third yesterday (and will be posting it below, as I committed to posting my work outs from now on).

One week on this program and I KNOW that this is the right path for me. I am sore all over, but in a good way. The lunges, squats, push-ups and step-ups KILL me but I just know that the effort is going to pay off!

2) Begin Training for the New Haven Road Race: I only did jogging intervals once this week. I found out that women tend to be really "quad dominant"--meaning the fronts of our thighs tend to be MUCH stronger than the back by as much as 50-75% -- which is one reason that we are far more prone to running injuries, as the muscular development of our thighs tends to be unbalanced.

Some body builders have suggested that I spend the initial phase of the NROL4W program to really hammer the backs of my thighs and bring their development up BEFORE I get more serious about the running. This would likely make the running easier for me over the long-term and make me less prone to running injuries.

This makes sense but I am really addicted to the idea of running so I don't know if I will stop the jogging intervals completely or not during this phase. But I am going to be working those hammies and glutes to the max!

3) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the challenge. Since I don't weigh myself too often I'll just have to trust that if I continue to do what I know I should, the weight will come off. Since I also joined that fitness challenge for women over on the JP board, I'll have to weigh myself at the beginning of February and we'll see where I am at then.

4) Improve sleep habits: I have actually had improvement in this area. There was only one night this week when I couldn't sleep well. I forced myself to get up early and not sleep-in the next morning-- so that I'd be extra tired the following night and not start a bad cycle of being up late and sleeping late. This seemed to work.

Now, as part of this challenge, I am supposed to reveal something that you probably don't know about me. Well, this may freak some of you out but, ever since I was a little kid I have been extremely psychic AND able to speak with dead people.

I know, I know, I expect you to skeptical. I would be too. But I am not talking about vague info here, I get dates, names, info that I couldn't possibly know or guess at. I can't explain it--- it feels similar to making art or music-- like it comes in from somewhere else.

For many years, I made my living doing this. I stopped. Why? I started noticing that a lot of people get overly attached to psychic readers and readings, and they depend on that instead of on God.

People should not call me first when they have a problem, they should call God first. I started feeling like I was not serving people's best interests by doing this so I don't do it too much now.

Now on to yesterday's killer work out!

Thursday's work out:

Warm up - Yoga stretches

Squat
15/65#
15/65#

Push Up (45 degrees)
15
15

Bent Over BB Row
15/50#
15/50#

Step ups (18" box)
15/15#
15/15#

DB Pullovers
15/30#
15/30#

Side bends holding 25# plate
15/25#
15/25#
15/25#
15/25#

Crunches
25
25

Leg Lifts
15
15

Preacher Curls
10/25#
10/25#

Single-Arm Skull crushers
15/25#
15/25#

DB Chest Press
15/25#
15/25#

DB Flies
15/15#
15/15#

Cool down: A few more simple stretches

I upped the squat weight by ten LBS and feel like I can up it by another 10 next time. I think I may be able to squat with 100 or more pounds by the end of the first phase.

The step-ups really kill me! You can understand why they are so effective.

Today was a gorgeous winter day. DH had the day off from work and we had a gift card that we got for X-mas..... so we decided to go out for a fancy lunch. We went to Jimmies here in West Haven. This restaurant is on the beach -- when we walk on the boardwalk, it is right there-- tempting everyone with the great smells!

So we ordered steak and salads, and had a lovely view as we had window seats. I snapped some photos just for you! The sun is trying to break through the clouds in the pic above. Then in the pic below of geese swimming near the shore, you can see a beautiful ray of light coming down. Don't you love it when you take pics and stuff like that happens?

When we left the restaurant we brought our scraps outside for the sea gulls. They hang-out hoping to be fed. Sometimes we actually order french fries to go for the gulls. LOL Here are some pics of Jeff feeding them.

They'll hover right in front of you and if you throw food up in the air they'll catch it. This is so cool to watch! How fitting that on the day of my perfect ten update--- I had a perfect day!

I hope you guys have a great weekend.

xoxox

Monthly Progress Report ~ And Muscle Info for Greta

2010-01-07T05:47:00.001-08:00

I'm calling this a "monthly report", but it's actually only been 2 and 1/2 weeks since I posted my December stats. The reason: I am participating in a 6-month women's fitness challenge and I need to have photos and body stats posted no later than Monday, and then I must post updates the first Monday of every month.

I've been posting my progress here around the third week of the month, so I thought it would be good to get these in sync, even though that means I am not really posting for a full month in January.

On Monday of this week, I had DH snap some pics of me and I recorded my measurements, weight and other stats to start the challenge. I've only lost two inches since I last measured in December-- one inch off the chest and 1/2 off both my waist and hips. All other measurements stayed the same.

Since this only represents a little over two weeks and covers both the Christmas and New year periods (with all of the parties), I am not displeased. Also, I weighed in on our scale Monday at 285 pounds-- representing a loss of 145 pounds since March 2009.

I have been taking pics in spandex exercise pants-- which have a slimming effect, and sports bras that I bought at the beginning that are now too loose on me. So this month, I decided to "let it all hang out" with some shorts and a new bra that is actually a little tight-- but that is intentional-- as we'll see how the fit changes each month.

My new weight lifting program is going well and other than that, I don't have much to report.

Greta over at Big Bottom Blogger asked me a question the other day about progressive resistance and I thought I would address that here.

Greta, I have not read the particular book you mentioned, but I am familiar with the principle and how/why it works. I am counting on it working as it is the approach I am using.

When I was doing ChaLEAN Extreme, we did 12 reps the first phase of the program; during the second month, we had to up the weight so that we could only complete 6-8 reps-- and this is progressive resistance.

Now with the NROL4W it is the same thing, except every other week, the reps per set decrease by two or three and the weight is increased as much as you can.

Why? Well, I'm gonna tell ya! LOL

Not all muscle fiber is the same. In any task, whether it is weight lifting or cooking dinner, the first muscle fibers pulled into action are the smallest ones.

When your body realizes that the effort needed exceeds about 25% of your strength, it activates your IIa muscle fibers. And when it sees that the effort requires more than about 40% of your strength, it calls up the IIx fibers.

Think of muscle fibers as soldiers in an army. Just as individual soldiers are members of platoons. muscle fibers are arranged in groups called MOTOR UNITS. Motor units, like the fibers that comprise them, have capabilities ranging from low threshold to high threshold.

Your body keeps the highest threshold motor units in reserve for the toughest tasks. That is why anyone who's trying to build muscle must eventually work with weights that require an all-out effort. Otherwise, the highest threshold motor units would never get used. And those are the fibers that are not only the biggest ones, but also the ones wth the most potential to get even bigger.

Your body will call in the most elite troup of fibers when you work at about 85% of your capacity. It would NOT BE POSSIBLE for you to work at that capacity and do 12-15 reps of an exercise. Your body will give out long before then-- and that is a good thing, which brngs you closer to the body you want.

Here's another thing to know. Muscle is metabolically expensive tissue, and your body won't want to add it unless there is some pressing reason to do so. (Pun intended, insert cheesey laugh track here).

Muscle adds to your body's daily nutritional needs because with a regular strength training program, your body also increases the bones, ligaments and other connections, not just the muscle. Six to eight weeks into a good weight training program and your bones will actually start to thicken. (another reason to do those squats!)

Your body wants to be efficient and won't add excess tissue unless it has to-- so consistency in weight training is important-- and so is diet. Your body needs protein to build this new tissue.

This is why it is so silly to hear women say that they don't want to weight train because they don't want to get "bulky". They are severely underestimating the effort it takes to achieve a muscular body.

People with really muscular bodies have worked out at 85% capacity over and over again for months or years and have paid meticulous attention to their diet and protein intake. Their hard work is trivialized when some overweight woman actually thinks that this could be achieved with mega reps with a ten-pound pink dumbbell and a diet of Lean Cuisines and Special K cereal. Not gonna happen!

High reps with low weights is really just glorified cardio, you might put on a bit of muscle in the beginning if you were out-of-shape at the start, and things may tighten up for you; but that's not enough of a challenge for your body to call in your muscle's version of the SWAT team.

Here's more info-- some people are genetically predisposed towards having more of these elite SWAT team muscle fibers just waiting to be activated. How can you tell if you do?

If you have tried to become a fast runner but can't no matter what you do, you are probably built to be strong, not fast.

If you put on weight easily, whether it is muscle or fat, you probably are meant to be sturdy, not willowy. Starving yourself and doing cardio till you drop may have contributed to your getting fatter and fatter over the years because that is not a way that that style of body can lean out.

My husband and I are both 6'3". He is built for speed and endurance, I am built for power and strength. DH thrives on lots of carbs and maintains his weight of 230 pounds eating 3,500 calories a day, or more.

I cannot eat that way. I need protein and I have to watch the calories. I'll always come in last when running. But ya know what? I kick my husband's ass in the gym!

I am just getting started and can do overhead presses with 20# dumbbells and bicep curls with 25 pounds. My Dh CANNOT do this. He tried. He can barely eek out 2-3 reps. This is a big, 6'3" guy too.

And my strength is not related to my height either. Because of the fitness challenge I just got involved in, I went and read the training journals of the other women there. Some of them competed in last year's challenge and have already completed one round of the New Rules of Lifting for Women program. There are plenty of little gals on there who are a foot shorter than me or less and who weigh 125 or less, yet they can overhead press more weight than me or my big, strapping husband.

I am convinced that a lot of fat women are genetically-gifted strong women in disguise. I am convinced that if I knew the above information years ago and honored my body and took it down the right path, I could have spared myself years of grief and obesity.

All of the years of trying to make my naturally thick, strong and slow body into a fast, willowy one using carbs and cardio, I am convinced, totally f-ed me up and turned me into the blobby mess I was at the start.

I have come to believe that putting carbs in a peson like me is like putting gas in a diesel engine-- it is not going to work.

Notice that I set up the beast (my weight bench) in my living room. I exercise in front of a sofa. Why? Because I lift so heavy that I often must drop the weight at the end, I cannot place it on the floor or put it back in the rack because I used up everything I had. THAT is how hard I work.

And this for me is working more than anything else I ever tried! I have lost 51 inches in the last 6 months and gained a ton of strength. I have totally committed myself to giving this an honest, increased effort over the next six-months to see where that gets me. Since I will be posting everything here, you'll all know how things progress.

Anyway, Greta, this is why your Russian friend tells people to lift heavy or get the F out. LOL

XOXO

Today's Work Out

2010-01-05T12:09:00.000-08:00

TODAY'S WORK OUT

WARM-UP- yoga poses

Deadlift
15/85#
15/85#

DB Shoulder Press
15/20#
15/20#

Pullovers
15/30#
15/30#

Lunges
15/BW
15/BW

Crunches
2 sets 25

Leg Lifts
2 sets 15

Lunge with Core Rotation
15/25#
15/25#

Side bends with 25# Plate
2 sets 15 each side

Bicep Curls (against the wall)
10/20#
10/20#

DB Flies
15/15#
14/15#

Ended with some old school floor exerises and more yoga poses. Felt like I could have done more on the deadlift-- may up it next time.

Doing the shoulder presses with 20# was at the outer limits of my ability, but it felt good to push myself.

I have been feeling crampy since I started taking the thyroid meds, almost like I will get a period. I only had two last year and haven't had one since July. Been thinking that I am done with that, but we'll see....

I am upping my protein somewhat and will be getting some Vitamin D and calcium suppliments per the suggestion of Greta at BigBottomBlogger.

For that women's Fitness Challenge I am doing I need to get a starting pic and my stats up by Monday-- so I think I will just make that my progress report for here- a little early, and start making these coincide each month to make things easier on myself.

These will also be starting stats and pics for the Perfect 10 Challenge. So look for a progress report within the next few days!

I am all set to watch the biggest loser tonight! Yahhoo!

2010 Fitness Challenge For Women

2010-01-04T10:33:00.001-08:00

Over at the JP (Just Pure) Fitness Forums there is a challenge starting in a few days that I will be participating in.

You must commit to a fitness program for 6-months. Many women there are using the New Rules of Lifting for Women or their own variation of that program. But you can use ANY body conditoning program, even one that you designed for yourself. You can also change your program during the challenge so long as you state what you are doing and follow it.

You MUST post your body stats (weight and measurements) at the beginning of each month, along with a progress pic. Your head can be cut off the progress pic if you don't want your face on the internet.

You can keep a training log there, but you are not obligated to do that. You will need to post your monthly progress in the thread provided for that no matter what though. I have already committed to my current program for 6-months so this just means that I'll be posting my stats in another location besides here.

The changes I need must be for the rest of my life so if I can't do something for 6-months, I will have a problem! LOL

If you've been following my blog, you know that I don't weigh myself at home. In order to do this challenge, that will have to change and I'll have to weigh monthly.

We have a scale here that weighs us about ten pounds less than the one at our Dr's. We checked, and the scale we have at home matches the one at our gym- so I could very well be about ten pounds less in actual weight than what I weigh at the Dr's. Sweet!

I am posting about this challenge here in case any of the gals are interested in participating or following the progress of others.

You can get more info about it HERE.

You can view the training log I created for this challenge by clicking HERE.

That's it for today!

Be good to you!

XOXO
X

The New Rules of Lifting for Women ~ Phase 1 Started!

2010-01-02T19:22:00.000-08:00

Today I started the weight lifting program outlined in the book THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN by Lou Schuler. I'm making other changes which I will outline here as well.

Before I explain this 6-month program and share today's workout, I wanted to offer some background as to why I chose this as the direction to follow for the New Year.

This past week, Steve's "Wednesday's Word of the Day" on his blog was ELEMENTARY. There is a good message in that video if you care to check it out.

Anyway, Steve's word of the day really tied into something from over a year ago and it made me feel like I had come full circle. Way back at the beginning of my journey when I started hanging around the body building forums to hopefully LEARN something, I would look SKEPTICALLY at the advice they gave about losing weight --- do about a half dozen body building exercises (that are considered foundation builders) three times a week, keep your protein at adequate amounts to build muscle, cut enough calories from your diet to lose a pound or two a week, and add intervals or cardio once or twice a week IF YOU WANT TO.

According to them, 99% of people will totally transform their body in 6-months to a year using this formula. I was an emotional, physical and psychological mess at the time. My fat and out-of-control behaviors seemed too big and too complicated to be solved by a formula that seemed so simple. Being overwhelmed was my natural state at that time, and what the body builders said seemed too simplistic to me back then.

Here we are almost a year later and I see that men and women have had phenomenal success with this formula -- some of them are in their 40's or older and lost 50 to 100 pounds or more, and look more fit than they did at age 20.

So, seeing this, reading good books like THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN and hearing messages like Steve's, I am ready to embrace simplicity and to give an honest try to the basics that the seasoned body builders recommended to me nearly a year ago.

So for the next 6-months, at least, it will be just me and my weight training equipment (or my gym, when I am there;) and for the winter months, whatever cardio I can do on the opposite days. (When Spring breaks, I will focus more on the running on the opposite days).

That's it, no bells and whistles, no gadgets or attachments. I don't have to buy a bunny suit and hop around in it. Just me, the knowledge of what I have to do, and the basic equipment that I need to get the job done.

I will explain the program here and I'll be posting all of my work-outs, starting with the one I did today. For starters, below is a photo of the weight bench that DH picked up for me from Craig's list. It came with 2 bar bells, one ez-bar, 3 dumbbell bars, tons of plates, a stand to hold the plates, plus a set of iron dumbbells from 5 to 15 pounds -- all for $75 -- and of course, Zeke had to saunter by as I was taking the pic! LOL

Since I am going to be so intimately connected with this weight bench, I figure I ought to be on a first-name basis with it. So I have named it "the beast." LOL

In terms of the program itself, the New Rules of Lifting For Women program is divided into 7 stages and will take 6-months to complete if you work-out 3 times a week and follow the program as outlined. If you can only work out twice a week, you can still do the program, but it will take longer.

It uses the basic body building fundamentals and foundation-building exercises that the body builders recommend:

Squats, dead lifts and lunges along with basic exercises that involve the motions of pushing (like push ups and chest presses), pulling (like rows and cable flies) and twisting (like side bends, chopping motions, and back extensions). That's it. It is that simple.

Each stage has two different work outs called "A" and "B". Since you work out three times a week, you will always be doing one workout twice, so you alternate which one gets done twice.

Since I have been using the machines at the gym since July and using free weights with the ChaLEAN Extreme program for the past three months, I am not really a "beginner," per se, so I'll be adding a few extra exercises to my workouts-- mainly targeting my problem areas.

Also, the program calls for doing crunches and what not with a swiss ball. I no longer have a swiss ball so I'll be doing crunches, leg lifts and the like on the floor. I learned great ab exercises from the ChaLEAN Extreme ab burner work out so I may just continue to use that three times a week, incorporating it into what I am doing now.

Another thing to note is that I don't have a squat rack, so getting the barbell onto my shoulders to do squats, I found today, was not easy. I had to lift the bar above my head and place it on my shoulders-- so the weight I could use was limited to what I could lift above my head.

DH is a carpenter and has a good engineering mind, so he is going to figure something out for me that will be safe and enable me to squat with heavier weights at home. I can't afford to run out and buy a squat rack at this point.

ANYWAY, I did "work out A" today with a few moves of my own added in. Here is what I did:

Squats: 15 reps with 35 pounds; 15 reps with 55 pounds
Push-ups, (45-degree) 2 sets of 15
Bent over barbell row - 50 pounds
Step-ups (18" box) two sets of 15 with 20 pounds
Pullovers, 2 sets of 15 with 30 pounds
skull crushers, 2 sets of 15 with 30 pounds
bench press 2 sets of 15 with 55 pounds
dumbbell chest press, 2 sets of 15 with 25 pounds
Side bends holding 25 pound plate, 20 reps each side
cruches - 2 sets of 25
leg lifts, 2 sets of 15
preacher curls, 12 reps each arm with 20 pounds, then two reps of 10 with 25 pounds

The step-ups are killer. You step-up onto a wooden box while holding weight. My butt and thighs are killing me! I can see how a few months of this stuff will have an affect! I had DH make the box for me and it was my bright idea to tell him to make it 18" tall. I wanted to challenge myself. Me and my big mouth! LOL

I am sore all over but very proud of myself for getting though it. My next weight work out will be Tuesday.

On other fronts, since I started that thyroid medicine all I do is wiz. I am like a pee factory. I even got up twice last night to go and I NEVER do that. Bet I've lost several pounds of fluid and that this will help lower my blood pressure even more.

I wanted to thank Greta at BigBottomblogger for the good info about hypothyroidism. Greta is also working out. Check out the pic of her arm that she posted the other day!

I also wanted to thank Helen over at Doing A 180 for sending me the fantabulous work out logs for the New Rules of Lifting program. They are awesome! Thanks Helen.

I plan to do some sort of Cardio tomorrow but I don't know if I will attempt to go around the neighborhood doing jogging intervals (brrrrrrr, cold!) or just do a cardio DVD in my toasty TV room!

Well, I am off to fix a great dinner for Jeff and I! Hope you're all doing well.

xoxoxoxoxox

Ut oh, I have Hypothyroidism!

2010-01-01T12:31:00.000-08:00

Move outta the way cardio bunnies! The kick-butt Kitty is here!

I was just hanging out yesterday with DH and having an uneventful day, when my doctor called. First of all, I was shocked that a Dr would call me on new year's eve and talk with me for 20 minutes about my lab results. My old doc trained me to expect suck-ass behavior, I guess.

Anyways, after running new lab work the thyroid was even worse than before. After he took the blood last week I wanted to educate myself somewhat about Hypothyroidism so that I would know what questions to ask him if it turned out I have it.

So we had a good conversation and the bottom line is that I started taking meds for this yesterday. I can either just wait to see how I feel and go over this with him more when I have my next appointment at the end of February. Or I can make an appointment with an endocrinologist and let the specialist handle this aspect of my health care.

I am going to wait two months and take the meds to see how I feel. I don't want to make this bigger than it needs to be. If I don't feel differently after two months then I will see an endocrinologist.

Now that I looked into this, I can clearly see that I've had all of the classic symptoms for quite some time, I was just attributing them to other things. For instance, my normally silky skin has been dry and scaley-- I attributed that to getting older. Lotion doesn't help and I was annoyed by that.

I had a gorgeous head of reddish-blonde hair that was all the way down my back. It was so thick that it barely fit into a large pony-tail holder. My hair started to thin and break off about two years ago-- again, I attributed this to getting older and also genetics. My grandmother developed very thin hair as she aged. Now I wonder if she didn't have hypothyroidism too. Sadly, I cut my hair off because of this and I have been sad about it ever since. I always LOVED my Irish hair.

My feet and lower legs are always cold-- like blocks of ice. This adds to my insomnia as this is to the point of being really uncomfortable. I keep a small space heater near the chair where I sit in at night to watch a little tv before bed. I put on socks and put my feet near the heater trying to warm them up. Even this doesn't do much good. Cold feet and poor circulation are one of the main sympoms of hypothyroidism.

One thing that really pisses me off is that I complained to my former Doc about all of these things and he did NOTHING. You'd think he would have said, "Oh, this overweight woman whose mom had hypothyroidism now has dry skin, thinning hair, cold feet, insomnia, low body temperature, etc. Maybe I should test her thyroid?"

I didn't know these things were connected, but he is a doctor, shouldn't he have? He knew that I was starting to go through menopause and basically told me that dryer skin and hair were part of getting older and I'd just have to accept it and age gracefully. I am adding him to my list of people who need a good slap!

My weight loss may increase now, my hair grow back and my feet stop feeling like two blocks of ice. That would be great! It can take a few weeks for the medicine to have an affect that you notice, according to what I've read.

I am going to keep reading on the subject and studying the different treatment options. People with hypothyroidism are at an increased risk for heart disease and cancer, so there is more involved here than being cold and uncomfortable and having a tendency to be fat. I will keep you all posted.

On other fronts, I did a two mile walk/jog today and followed that up with just under an hour in the gym. I said after the first of the year I would record my work outs here, so here's what I did at the gym today:

These are all machines, no free weights today. "JB" is an abbreviation I use in my training log that means "just barely." It means that the set was at the outer limits of my strength and I could barely do it. LOL

Chest Press: 12 reps at 100#, 12 reps at 115#, 12 reps at 130# JB

Duel axis Chest press: 12 reps at 90#, 12 reps at 95#, 12 reps at 100# JB

Duel axis Incline press: 2 sets of 12 with 70 pounds
(had a hard time with this today, unsure why)

Cable seated row: two sets of 10 at 150#, JB

Cable chest fly: 2 sets of 10 at 90# JB

Overhead press: 12 reps at 35#, 12 reps at 50#

Shoulder press: 12 reps at 20#, 12 reps at 30#, 12 reps at 40#

I said before that I was starting the new weight training program on Monday. Actually, I will start it on Sunday and post about why at that time. I am VERY excited! I will outline the program at that time too.

Hope you're all enjoying what is to be a long weekend for most of us! Grab some quality time with the ones you love, including yourself!

xoxox
xo
x

Final Hot 100 Post and Year-End Review

2009-12-31T07:51:00.000-08:00

I would be sad writing this post if there weren't a new challenge taking its place. I am talking about the Perfect 10 challenge which you can read about HERE.

Anyway, in terms of the Hot 100, with the food challenges, I would say that I had about an 80% success rate. I rarely "cheated" on my food plan and when I did, I got right back in the saddle.

My amount of exercise varied WILDLY from week to week, I was often below my target of five hours a week. Time-wise, I constantly felt overwhelmed. IN SPITE OF THAT, I lost over a foot of inches during the challenge. So this goes to show that doing what you can, when you can, is better than doing nothing. Having SOME progress is better than NO PROGRESS.

The Hot 100 challenge helped a lot and I am looking forward to starting the Perfect 10 challenge. I did totally suck ass at posting my updates when I should have. That, along with trying to fit in the exercise and other things in my life points to time-management issues and also just trying to do too much.

So I want to improve on that during the new challenge and the new year. I also look forward to reading the goals and challenges of my fellow bloggers.

Steve has a career and a family and his own health to deal with, yet he takes the time to organize and track these challenges. This is an incredible example of generosity-- which is another reason that I like this so much. Steve is generous in creating the challenges and then so many people here are so good about leaving comments for their fellow "team mates." I love how it all comes together and the spirit of the whole thing.

The fact that my gut will get smaller in the process is great too. The challenge insures that there is always something in your life that is bigger than your problem area. LOL

Now for a quick review of the year. Last year at this time,I wore a MEN'S size 5X and my hips were nearly 70 inches! I weighed 430 pounds and no doubt I was plannning what kind of fattening goodies Jeff and I would stuff in our jibs whilst watching new year's eve specials on TV.

My blood pressure was so high that I would get pounding headaches and you could actually see the blood vessels in my forehead pulsing like crazy. My cholesterol was through the roof and I was borderline diabetic-- my doctor at the time threatened to put me on medicine for diabetes. It was the diabetes scare that finally moved me to action. (That, and trying to fit my fat ass into TWO airline seats during my trip to the rez)

I started a low-carb diet in March, but I did not exercise until I returned from my trip to the rez in July. At that time, I did a 21-day fast and thereafter, modified my eating plan and began to exercise.

I have lost about about 4 feet of inches since July. I DID NOT measure myself back in the beginning-- so that is not the total inches lost for the year, that number, if I knew it, would be much higher!

I can now run a complete mile when I could barely walk earlier in the year. I brought my cholesterol down by 70 points, and my fasting blood sugar is down nearly 40 points. I am also on track for normal blood pressure. It is much lower than it was but not yet "normal."

My first visit to the gym was July 26th. On that day, on the machines, I set the chest press for 30 pounds and that was literally the best I could do. I now set that at 100 pounds. Leg press went from 120 pounds to 300 pounds, seated cable rows went from 60 pounds to 150 pounds, Lat pull downs went from 40 pounds to 130 pounds, and cable flies went from 40 pounds to 90 pounds. I really wanted to be able to pull 100 pounds on the cable flies by the new year-- I didn't make it-- I just can't do it. It is just out of the reach of my strength. No matter how hard I tried to dig, I just couldn't pull it-- maybe by the end of the Perfect 10 challenge?

I am finishing up the ChaLEAN Extreme program, which is one of my accomplishments for the year. Whether or not it is worth the money for someone to buy this depends on where they are at fitness wise and other factors. I will do a full review of the product this coming week in which I will be honest about who I think would benefit from it and who wouldn't. I will also outline my results.

I am preparing for a new weight lifting program which I will outline over the week end, and one thing that I will do differenly is that every time I work out, I will list the exercises that I did, the reps and sets, and the weights used. So this blog will start doubling as a training journal. When I am able to increase a weight, I will note it. So you will all be able to follow my progress in a more "real" way.

I am officially starting the new weight lifting program on Monday.

I will continue with my monthly progress reports with pics -- these I do around the middle of each month so I will post one in the middle of January.

I want to thank everyone who reads my blog and for those who take the time to comment. Thank you for your encouragement, insights and helpful information. If I had to make this journey alone, I would do it, as we gotta do what we gotta do.

But having you guys here makes this a little easier. Thank you for that! And happy New Year!

XOXO

A new year, a new challenge!

2009-12-29T18:34:00.000-08:00

As the new year is just days away I have been reflecting on the past year and thinking about new goals for 2010. Steve over at Log My Loss has come up with a new challenge so that we can keep up the momentum we started with the HOT 100!

I was going to post about some of my goals for the new year (and some of them will make you laugh, so if you have to pee, go now) so I figure I will put the challenge goals and the new year's goals in the same post-- as the challenge goals support the long term stuff.

Ok-- let's start with the PERFECT 10 challenge goals-- I urge you to participate in this challenge-- it is only ten weeks and may help to keep your motivation up. Plus it is a good excuse to visit Steve's blog, which always offers useful information and motivational videos-- all for FREE.

So please, read about the challenge HERE and start planning your goals and strategies!

MY PERFECT TEN CHALLENGES

1) Begin the NROL program. What is this? It stands for THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN - LIFT LIKE A MAN, LOOK LIKE A GODDESS, a work-out program from the book by this name, written by Lou Schuler.

I read this book months ago as a friend of a friend had great success with it and even reduced problem areas that she thought she was truly stuck with for the rest of her life.

I began practicing the squatting and lunging (not easy at 400 pounds), printed a training journal designed for this program, joined the online forum for people following the NROL, and very quickly realized that I had bitten off more than I could chew at the time. There are a variety of reasons for this, some of which I'll explain here, as it may pertain to you or be helpful to someone here.

Reason number one, I had joined gyms plenty of times in my life but I was generally using the cardio equipment or the Nautilus equipment. I rarely used free weights (other than fooling around with 10 pound dumb bells to do triceps extensions). I never had any real plan or program at the gym other than a vague notion of wanting to look better or be more "toned."

The squats were killing my knees so I went onto "you tube" and watched a video of the proper way to squat. At that point-- I became concerned about my form and wondered if I shouldn't start with a more basic program that emphasized basics such as form and tempo and that came with DVDs to demonstrate the moves. NROL is a book and I was having trouble learning form from it.

The NROL is a 6-month program and once you get past the initial phase you need to lift heavier weights than what you might be used to to make it effective. You have to motivate yourself and be self-disciplined-- and you have to be honest with yourself about when to increase the weight.

At the size and level of fitness I had then, I realized that I wasn't ready for this program-- that's why I bought the ChaLEAN extreme program, which I am finishing up now. ChaLEAN eases you into the workouts, stresses safety and proper form while at the same time, asking you to push yourself.

Although I felt a sense of "defeat" at the time, it was the right choice. I wasn't ready for NROL then. BUT I AM NOW. I am re-reading the book, rejoining the NROL forum, and starting this program on Monday!

This is a 6-month program, but the beginning will probably be the hardest -- so this ten-week challenge will help to get me going. ChaLEAN won't be on a screen in front of me reminding me of proper form, setting the tempo, telling me to breathe-- I will have to do those things for myself.

2) Begin Training for the New Haven Road Race. This is a half marathon (13.1 miles) and takes place every year on Labor Day. As of the onset of this challenge, I have 8 months to prepare myself. Running on this day is one of my long-term goals for 2010 and you can read more about it below.

Suffice it to say, with New England weather I won't be able to train outside consistently until Spring. I HATE treadmills and refuse to use one. So it will be important that I keep my cardio up on the days I am not lifting.

As luck would have it, the challenge is ending just shortly before the first official day of spring-- so I will use it to keep me going through the winter. This isn't about just having the discipline to do some sort of cardio indoors or out as the weather allows-- but it is about my own attitude and accepting things not in my control and working around them.

I can get really pissy and almost take it personally when I am in the mood to walk and it rains or snows or drops to ten degrees. This is ridiculous, I know. I need to get myself to say, "Oh well, can't walk outside today, I'll do a Biggest Loser cardio dvd instead." My pattern is to get pissed when I can't do what I want and then do NOTHING.

I've been losing weight and made gains in my fitness in spite of ridiculous personality things like this-- but I won't be able to achieve what I want if I leave this in place-- so it is part of my challenge.

3) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the challenge. That would be an average of two pounds a week, which is quite do-able if I remain focused.

4) Improve sleep habits. Why is this here? Believe it or not, it affects your fitness, especially if you're trying to build muscle. Overweight people are more apt to have sleep disorders and poor sleeping habits.

Among the many other reasons to care about this is GH or GROWTH HORMONE -- which helps your body build muscle and increase strength. Your pituitary gland releases GH in spurts, THE BIGGEST OF WHICH RECURS WHEN YOU SLEEP. Hence, proper sleep is essential for someone who works out regularly. You won't get the results that you want if you are spending hours in the gym every week but not getting enough rest!

(By the way, alcohol consumption interferes with GH release which is why body builders avoid it. I don't have a problem not consuming alcohol so I am not making it a challenge)

I made the sleep thing a challenge as I have suffered with insomnia since I was a kid and I have noticed that when I try to lower my calories to push a greater weight loss -- the insomnia pattern gets worse. I have also noticed that a lot of cardio makes it worse too. Instead of being tired after a good run, I am more apt to lay awake.

I can't pretend to know the solution for this or even if there is one. But I want to find different ways to push myself towards good bedtime routines and getting enough sleep.

You may have noticed that there are no food-related goals among my challenges. Not to rub it in to those who still battle with over-eating, food cravings, binge behaviors, etc. - but I don't have stress or issues with any of that right now and haven't for quite awhile. Christmas reaffirmed for me that I can "cheat" when I want to and return to my program at will, without a problem.

I am not trying to imply that I have lifetime immunity from over-eating or gaining the weight back. If I had that, I would package it and become a millionaire overnight! But right now, food is not the issue; discipline and intensity with exercise are more important.

I'd be giving myself an easy assignment if I made it about food and the point of this is to be CHALLENGED. Pushing myself with the exercise and dealing with weird personality and mood things are harder for me to address than the food-- so that's what it's about for me.

NOW, ONTO MY LONG-TERM GOALS FOR THE COMING YEAR

And, as I said, some of these will be FUNNY (I think so anyway), so if you have to pee, go now.

In the past, vague, candy-ass goals got me no where! So I've made an effort to be specific and colorful. Here goes:

1) My wedding anniversary is July 9th. I want to be able to wear a black cocktail dress and heels by then and to look GOOD in it. We always go out for dinner on our anniversary. We haven't been going to "dress-up" places for the past few years for the obvious reason that I looked like shit

2) Become MISTRESS LORI-ANN. Hey, I asked DH what he wanted for x-mas and he said for me to keep going until I can wear a dominatrix outfit. I was about to laugh when I realized that he probably wasn't kidding. He wasn't.

No, he doesn't want to be spanked or degraded, he just wants to see his 6'3" wife in black fishnet stockings and a leather body suit. So this is an important goal and if I achieve it I will post pics of my outfit.

In my most recent progress pic in the side bar, I am wearing a shirt that says MOTIVATE DOMINATE. This is a joke between us-- that the shirt is a prelude to the stockings and high heels-- now you are in on the joke too. But I am serious about achieving this nonetheless.

When it gets close, I may even plan a romantic evening or week-end get-away during which I spring the outfit on him. I will let you know. Obviously, this is a ways off. LOL

3) Prepare for the New Haven Road Race. I am no spring chicken. I smoked 2 packs a day for twenty years and have abused my body pitifully over the years. I don't know if it is realistic for me to complete a half-marathon 8-months from now or even beyond that.

I am going to train for it as if I am going to do it and I will mail in the application in the spring. If it gets to be close and I assess where I am at and HONESTLY think I shouldn't do it, then I will run the 5k they have there that same day. One way or the other, I will run that day.

Merely thinking that the half-marathon would be "hard" or embarrassment over the likely possibility of coming in LAST aren't reason enough not to do it. When Spring gets here, I'll have to be consistent with the running and do an honest assessment of my abilities when race day approaches.

4) Visit the Cadillac Ranch. What is the Cadillac Ranch? It is a fun country restaurant and dance club where you can get line dancing lessons and have fun making a fool of yourself. It is amazing what a hit this place is here in Yankee-ville.

I've always wanted to drag my husband there and get him all liqueured up and out on the dance floor, then bring him home and...... well, er um... you get the idea. And so, this year, it's gonna happen! Maybe I'll wear my dominatrix outfit underneath my country dress! LOL

Anyway, when you're really FAT you tend not to go out and do fun stuff like this, assuming that you're even physically capable to begin with. That has to end this year. For too long, I've denied myself the pleasure of of going about and making a complete ass of myself. I'm doing it this year, and that's it!

You can read about the Cadillac Ranch HERE.

5) Go to concerts. We LOVE music and haven't been able to go to concerts. I couldn't fit in the seats. At the Meadows, there are "lawn seats" but try getting up and down off the ground at 430 pounds-- no graceful way to do that.

And so I'd love to surprise DH with some unexpected concert tickets.

6) Go to the movies. Again, couldn't fit in the seats. I haven't seen the inside of a movie theater in about ten years. So in 2010, I will go to the movies even though it costs a lot these days.

7) Buy some slutty clothes. When I get to goal, I have no intention of "acting my age." Fuck that! Where is the fun in that? I am not putting myself through all of this shit to wear wool suits and baggy jeans. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, girlfriend is gonna buy short skirts, jack-up-the boobs bras, and a variety of clothes that are too tight, too short and totally inappropriate for someone my age. Don't say you weren't warned! LOL

I have some other goals, like improved health and overall fitness. But somehow, those alone won't always get my ass out of bed and into my running shoes on cold, dreary mornings.

I needed some goals with some juice to them and that I know I can make happen if I work hard. What are your goals for 2010? Are you joining the perfect 10 challenge? C'mon, get going. Don't be a wimp!

Have a great day!

P.S. Anyone know where I can get fishnet stockings to fit 37" legs?
xoxoxox
LOL
LOL
LOL

Weigh-in at Docs & Work-out with Drew

2009-12-29T12:03:00.000-08:00

Ok kids-- it is the moment I have been waiting for-- and somewhat dreading-- the weigh-in and blood pressure check at my doc's today.

Jeff, my DH, weighed himself at the gym on Sunday and put on ten pounds. I don't think that is a true "fat" gain. He had been eating much less carbs, like me, but has been cheating wildly for two weeks. When I eat that many carbs, I immdiately pile on a bunch of "bloaty" weight that comes right back off once I return to the right kind of eating.

So DH gaining THAT much, even bloaty carb weight that is temporary-- made me nervous about my weigh-in today. I told you all that I wanted to be under 300 for the new year-- with all of the Hot 100 commitments-- this was the main thing I hoped to achieve.

By now you're probably saying, "Alright already, give us the dang numbers." Ok, I lost 9 pounds since my last visit in November, making my weight 298 -- so YIPPPPEEEEEE, I made it! I will start the year 2010 under 300 pounds and I am beyond thrilled!

My last weigh-in was a few days before Thanksgiving. So even with lousy holiday eating and being half-ass with my exercise for almost two weeks, I STILL lost 9 pounds in four weeks. Not bad.

We checked my blood pressure and went over the blood work from my last visit. Last time, my blood pressure was 158/88, this time it was 142/74-- that's with a drug called Avalide that my Doc thinks I should be able to wean off of as my weight comes down.

My total cholesterol was 174; my HDL (good cholesterol) was 45. My doc would like to see that improve even more (as he likes to see the HDL at at least 50) but thinks it will get there over time by itself, so long as I keep exercising and eating the way I do-- Salmon 3-4 times a week and flax with the oatmeal must have SOME benefit!

My triglycerides were 113 and anything under 150 is supposed to be good. My fasting blood sugar was 96. Doc said he would have liked to see that lower because of diabetis in the family. He told me to watch the sugar and carbs-- which, I do.

One potential issue is that my bloodwork showed a sluggish thyroid. He retested it today and if that blood work comes back sluggish too, he might consider giving me thyroid meds. My mother had to have this and lost 50 pounds the minute she started taking it.

I both want and don't want to have to take meds for that, if you know what I mean? It would be cool to take a pill every morning and effortlessly peel off more weight than what I've been losing. On the other hand, I've been averaging 6 inches of weight loss per month without any pills. And I wouldn't want worry about a sudden massive weight gain if I had to go off the pills.

He wants me to have a mamogram and a colonoscopy before I go back for my next check up, which will be February 23rd. Changing my Doc was one of the smartest things I did this year. I love the guy!

I was hoping for more than a nine pound loss, but I am under 300, finally, and that's what I wanted more than anything as a Chrsitmas present to myself.

After the doc's I went to meet my son Andrew at his gym and try some new exercises with him. He is actually my step-son, but Jeff and I both hate that term, so I just call him my son.

Anyway, he has battled with weight too and in the process got certified as a personal trainer. He is in college now, doing his own work outs, plus working with clients. Andrew is one of the reasons that I am able to push myself as I do. We tend to NOT want to do that. Having someone around to remind you of how strong you are really does help.

Our gym won't allow you to bring in your own personal trainer, so I visited Drew's gym. I wanted to try some things where it helps to have a "spotter" and I wanted to try some things that I haven't tried before-- like using the smith machine.

So he helped me through bench presses, squats with the smith machine, dead lifts, bent-over bar bell rows, calf raises, preacher curls, Lat pull down and a few others.

I squated with 85 pounds on the smith machine, did preacher curls with 20 pounds, lat pull downs with 130 pounds and can leg press 300-- which is MORE than I weigh now-- FINALLY! I can do seated calf raises with 125 pounds.

Anyway, he has a month off from college so I'll probably go back at the end of January to see if I can bench press and dead lift more. I will practice on my own.

Hope you're having a great day!

xoxoxox

Hot 100 Update, X-Mas Pics & other updates

2009-12-27T13:24:00.001-08:00

Ok--so I am really behind in getting this stuff posted! LOL Better late than never, I suppose.

Here's my Hot 100 goals and how I've been doing

Exercise a minimum of five hours a week: The past two weeks have been horrific for getting any exercise done! Right around the time of the refrigerator disaster, my best friend was supposed to go into the hospital for one day to have her gall bladder out.

She suddenly disappeared and wasn't returning my calls. It was contributing to the melt down that I had, big time. Anyway, come to find out that she was rushed to the ER a few days before her surgery with acute pain in her side. She had an infected liver and other stuff going on that her small hospital couldn't deal with, so they took her by ambulance to a larger hospital where they kept her for 4-5 days. All that time, she couldn't call me. She didn't have her cell phone with her and that is the only place she has her phone numbers stored.

Anyway, all that time, I didn't know what was going on and I was freaking out and driving my husband nuts. Between that, the major snow we had (and had to shovel), the refrigerator disaster, and the normal Christmas busyness, I really sucked ass at getting anything done exercise wise.

You can count on one hand how often I've been to the gym in the past ten days or so, and the walking and other exercise hasn't been much better. All I can say is, I am confident that I can get back on track this week.

Eat Foods Rich in Omega 3's at least 3 times a week: I aced this.

Complete all three months of the ChaLEAN Extreme program: Still working on this and will post a review of the program when I am done with it.

Consume at least five fruits and veggies a day: I'm good here too.

Eat only when hungry: Well, er um, at Christmas parties and on Christmas day, I didn't do too well with this and ate too much and ATE A LOT OF CARBS-- which I am still paying for! LOL

One thing I have noticed is that I just don't feel well. It feels like I ate a jar of paste or something. I am guessing it is not being used to the carbs and fat I ate.

So it is good to be back on track -- we had salmon and butternut squash for dinner and I'll be back to my regular exercise schedule tomorrow.

Here are some pics from my holiday!

Our dogs Zeke (above) and Beau (below) wearing their candy cane "bone-danas."

Our son Tom. At 6'5" he's our shortest son.

Tom's girlfriend Michelle. She is in college and wants to be a nurse.

Here's Jeff with a friend. ATTENTION: Elvis has NOT left the building!

Tom with the dogs

Our daughter Sarah with Zeke

Jeff with Beau

My mother-in-law (age 91), Zeke and our son Andrew. Andrew is 6'7" or 6'8"

Michelle with her grand father, who is about 88 yrs old

I made this apple pie with paw prints in the crust for my friend Mandy's Christmas party. She has rescued 4 dogs and has a pet sitting and dog-walking service. The pie was a big hit!

One of Mandy's dogs attired for the party. This is Minerva, "Minnie" for short.

This one is called "Olivia."

Minnie's shirt. Too cute!

This is Gizmo, aka "Gizzy." He thinks he is a Doberman. LOL I LOVE those teeth!

Anyway, just wanted to get this posted as it is so overdue! Hope you all had a great Christmas!

A Christmas Gift for YOU!

2009-12-24T11:52:00.000-08:00

This is a story about tree day and it is a gift to my blogging friends who have given me so much this year. Tree day isn’t about a Christmas tree-- it is about a sun dance tree.

It is a “gift” for you because spiritual experiences are rarely spoken of in Lakota culture and are seldom written down. In the dominant culture it is our tendency to want to (verbally) share spiritual experiences with others, in Lakota culture it is the opposite.

One way to explain this is like when you hear a really funny joke for the first time and you laugh so hard that you can’t breathe. Then, as the joke circulates from person to person, you keep hearing it and, each time, you laugh a little less. Over time, the joke loses its power to amuse you and you do not laugh at all.

It is this way with spiritual things. Sometimes we have an experience that we KNOW within ourselves was a direct experience with God/spirit, we feel the touch of spirit and in that moment have no doubts.

Speaking about such things to unbelievers diminishes the experience and robs it of the ability to empower you. Held within and thought of with gratitude, the moment helps you keep your faith.

And so in Lakota culture, when someone shares one of their spiritual stories with you it is a sign of love and respect and shows that they believe you will honor the moments when spirit touched them, just as they will honor yours.

So with all of that said, I give you my story of tree day, 2009.

T R E E D A Y

“They’ll never get this tree up,” my best friend, Jeanne, said, with tears in her eyes. “This is the tallest sun dance tree I’ve ever seen,” said someone else in the crowd.

To an outsider looking at the situation from a completely mundane point of view, the scene would have seemed pointless and impossible -- a bunch of Lakota Indians had cut down a cottonwood tree, transported it to the Sun Dance grounds, and with the help of a few visitors such as ourselves, were attempting to stick the tree in a hole in the ground and get it to stand upright so they can dance and pray around it for four days whilst going without food and water.

That is the mundane point of view, but of course there is more to it than that, as this story will explain. Sun Dance is an annual ceremony celebrated in the summer. The actual Sun dance lasts 28 days, but the last four days are the ones in which the dancing and most of the ceremony take place.

A person who is invited to Sundance (you must have an invitation) must spend some time preparing themselves for the experience. You never know what to expect when you attend a ceremony such as this and nothing but the experience gives you this knowledge.

During the sun dance, which lasts four days, the dancers do not eat or drink anything other than the sage water they are given during the sweat lodges that take place two or more times a day. From sun up until sun down, they dance and pray for everyone except themselves.

The day before this starts is known as TREE DAY. On tree day, either the medicine man himself or a helper goes to an area with trees to find the cottonwood tree that would stand at the center of the sun dance circle. Cottonwood trees are sacred to the Lakota because they are the trees that taught the Lakota how to make a tipi. Its leaves are shaped in the conical pattern of the tipi. Another reason the cottonwood tree is so sacred is because if you cut an upper limb crosswise, inside will be a perfect five pointed star which represents the presence of the Great Spirit and heavenly powers.

When the medicine man or the helper is guided to the right tree it is marked somehow-- usually by attaching a red cloth to it-- red being a sacred color, as all living creatures are red inside. That evening the people involved in the ceremony go to the tree and offer prayers before it is cut down.

During the Sun Dance, it is believed that the spirit of God will literally inhabit the tree to listen to the prayers and to reach out and touch the people there. The tree is cut down, usually by the men who have pledged to pierce during the sun dance (which I will explain another time). The tree is cut down in a ceremonial way that I don’t think I should write about. Suffice it to say, that the tree is not allowed to touch the ground-- ever.

The men move it onto a flat bed trailer and haul it back to the sun dance grounds where it is carried to the center of the Sundance circle from the west.

The dancers and their friends and family who will be there to support them during their prayer ordeal will have placed their prayer intentions into cloth bundles of sage and tobacco. As the tree is brought into the circle by the men, everyone ties their prayer bundles onto the tree.

Now comes the hard part. For every man who will pierce, a rope is attached to the tree. The tree must be placed into a hole and secured so that it will not fall for one year. The men stand on the west side and try to push the tree up, while the women hold the ropes on the eastern side and pull. The tree cannot be dropped or ever touch the ground.

This is a 30 or 40 foot tree, the weight of which is outrageous. When you are there observing this for the first time, you realize that from an engineering/human strength point of view, what they are trying to do is not possible. That is the point. Humans cannot do it. It is the people’s faith that raises the tree.

Trees reach into the earth with their roots and towards heaven with their branches-- and must do both in order to live. They teach us how to live and be strong and balanced. But when you cut one away from the roots for the sun dance, it is a reminder that for these few days, it is by spiritual power alone that we must live. Human and earthly resources cannot make the sun dance happen. It is a yearly renewal of your faith.

It took nearly four hours to get the tree up last summer. The more tall men that are present, the better-- they can push the tree up higher and help it have the momentum to go up. Traditionally, women do not do that part. But after hours of effort and given my height, the medicine man asked me to go on the other side with the men and help push the tree up.

After another hour of trying and praying, “Grandfather, Great Spirit, take pity on us,” I was exhausted, everyone was, we were about to drop when finally, there was a moment when I felt the weight of the tree leave my shredded up hands and I KNEW it was going up, up, oh my God, it was upright. I was in awe.

Some white people from a church group who had been invited fell to their knees. The women and some of the men were crying. We had all taken part in a miracle, and everyone knew it.

Once the tree is up, those holding the ropes quickly fan out and keep the ropes tight to keep the tree from falling, while some of the men secure the base of the tree in the hole. This part is not easy either.

My friend Jeanne is native, but was raised here on the east coast and had never seen a sun dance before. At the moment that the tree went up the look on her face was priceless. I saw the light go on when she realized that she was in new territory and that the next four days would be special.

I told her ahead of time that once you attend a sun dance you are never the same again. Maybe she thought I was being melodramatic. Most people think that, until they attend for the first time.

The next four days consisted of one amazing experience after another. One of the most memorable ones for me is about butterflies.

Visitors to the sun dance try to provide support and resources that the Lakota do not have. Jeanne and I went out and bought a cooler which we filled with ice and drinks and put it near the drum and singers, which they appreciated.

The dancers are sequestered and do not eat, but all of the supporters and the drum group must eat three times a day, fire wood is needed for the sweats, etc. The Lakota are poor, they don’t have the resources for these things. People like us are generally led by spirit to provide for the sun dance.

So I did what I could. And I was praying a lot, especially about my weight and health. The first day of the sun dance, Jeanne and I went to our tents for something during one of the breaks and there were about ten butterflies hanging around the door to the tent. They weren’t on anyone else’s tent, only mine. I thought it was a little odd but ignored it at that point.

Later, their numbers had increased and this kept going on. The next day, we were sitting under the arbor where the supporters sit --- so their sun dancer can see them and be encouraged. And those same kind of butterflies kept landing on my legs and feet. Jeanne was laughing and said, “Look, your friends sent out a search party for you.”

We went back to the tent again at lunch time and nearly fainted as now the butterflies numbered in the hundreds. They were all over my tent, especially the door. I was afraid to try to get in there as I didn’t want to hurt them.

I couldn’t stand it anymore so I went and got some tobacco (a traditional sign of respect) and gave it to a medicine elder in return for what they would say about the butterflies. She said the butterflies were messengers of spirit that represent kisses from heaven. She said they were thanking me for helping the Lakota people. I cried all day.

All of the visitors and supporters were camping together about a hundred yards from the sun dance circle. That night, there was a violent wind storm, more powerful than anything I had ever experienced. When we got up in the morning, every single tent there had been ripped apart by the wind and people were sleeping in their cars. Tent poles were snapped in two. The field was littered with tent pieces and people’s belongings that had blown away.

But our two little one-man tents were completely intact. Not only that, but a box of supplies outside of our tent did not move one inch. Jeanne and I were in awe. So that is the way that our four days went-- and of course I cannot wait to go back.

Some of you who are not inclined to believe in spiritual things may be looking for “rational explanations” as to how a handful of people lifted a 40ft tree or why butterflies covered my tent en mass and no others or why everyone lost their tents in the windstorm except for us……….. But how about if, as a holiday gift to yourself, you choose NOT to look for “rational” reasons, but view these experiences as exactly what they seem to be and accept my telling you as a gift to inspire your accepting at least the possibility of a spirit realm.

Merry Christmas everyone!

This is the area where we camped and we harvested that wild sage you see there and brought it home. The Lakota call it PEJI HOTA meaning, grey grass.

~ Some things must be believed to be seen.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A New Day

2009-12-23T11:13:00.001-08:00

Well, thanks to Craig's list we were able to get a cheap refrigerator last night! Whew!

Also, a kindness that we did months ago returned to us. We have an extra room on the first floor of our house that we rent to roommates. We were looking for a new roommate during the summer, right after I came back from the rez.

These two ladies (a mother and daughter) came to look at it and I liked them immediately. They are Korean and seemed a good match. But my husband was leaning toward a University of New haven student whose father was going to give us 6 months rent in advance.

Well, when I told those ladies that I had to discuss all of the applicants with my husband and would get back to them, the mother bursted out crying and explained that they had been living with a friend who died-- then the friend's kids came and kicked them out of the house with no warning.

The daughter works at Walmart and they had been living in their car. They have a dog and someone reported the dog living in the car- so animal control seized the dog--but felt bad for them and gave them 3 weeks to find a place to live before they would put the dog up for adoption.

They could not find a place. Most apartments here want TWO months security plus the first months rent before you can move in, and many have a credit check and will not allow pets.

So the mother was BAWLING and telling me how they looked for a place every day and would go and visit the dog, and that they had two days left to find a place or they would be forced to sign a paper releasing the dog.

When I called my husband at work to ask him if I could rent the room to two homeless women (one injured and unemployed-- as the mom had back surgery) and their dog; and by the way, they can't afford a security deposit; if he were anyone else, he might have said, "Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

But instead he told me that he trusted my instincts. I had just come back from the sun dance days before, and I honestly felt that Creator sent them to me as an assignment. I believe that this is how God answers prayers, through other people. Sometimes you are the receiver, and sometimes you are asked to be the instrument that delivers the answer.

So they moved in and have never once been late with their rent. They keep their room spotlessly clean. Every time the daughter gets paid, she buys my two dogs each a rawhide bone.

ANYWAY, they overheard my husband and I discussing the refrigerator and all of the other issues. They just gave me a Christmas card with $100 to buy our Christmas dinner. I did not want to take it. The daughter works at Walmart for goodness sakes. But they insisted,, saying we took them in when no one else would take the chance; and that they were able to keep their dog, so they are repaying a kindness, they said.

So now I can restock for Christmas dinner.

Also, Kat over at Fitmindbodyspirit, after reading my blog yesterday-- discussed it with her husband and they decided to provide Christmas dinner for the Lakota family whom I help. A $60 line of credit was phoned into their local grocery store this afternoon--- so our lakota friends will be eating well too!

So if you have a chance, visit kat's blog and tell her how wonderful she is! I just called the rez to tell them they would eat well on Christmas day and the grand ma bursted into hysterics. She said they will pray for Kat.

Anyway, I am emotionally and physically exhausted. We got up at 5am yesterday to go to the gym and didn't get done with our refrigerator escapade until 10pm last night. Then I had to get up early again today.

So I will end here-- I owe a hot 100 update but will post it tomorow. Just wanted everyone to know how things work out-- just like my own personal Hallmark movie!

Below is a pic of the son and grand kids in the family that Kat bought the food for.
They will be chowing down on Christmas day thanks to Kat!

Christmas Love to all!

Sitting here crying

2009-12-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

You all know that your amazon runner is not a cry baby. And I tend toward anxiety rather than depression. But here I sit. Crying.

Connecticut is usually in the top 3 wealthiest states-- so things are expensive here. 'cept we aren't wealthy. My husband is a carpenter. We have two kids in college and a high mortgage.

We have had extra, unavoidable expenses come up this month, plus a $1,600 tuition payment for our youngest son's next semester at college was due yesterday. It was paid. But our mortgage for the month of December isn't.

To top it off, our fridge just up and died yesterday. Last time we had it serviced it cost almost $500-- we aren't going to call a repairman for the third time in 5 years on a friggen appliance that cost almost two grand and should work better. It was a gift from my mom when we bought the house and is an example of how big fancy things can bring headaches.

So here I sit, the gluten-free items for my mother-in-law that I bought ahead of time for X-mas thawed out and are GONE. These came from whole foods and cost me a fortune. The Christmas ham is gone. EVERYTHING has to be thrown out.

Our Christmas dinner is gone. The remaining $400 that we have in our checking account to exchange a few small gifts with our kids and each other is going to have to go for the cheapest fridge we can find.

The way it looks, not only can we not exchange gifts but I don't even know how we can replace the food we lost and I have my kids and my mother-in-law coming for dinner.

What I also feel bad about is that for our favorite Lakota family (a very spiritual family whom I love) we always call their local grocery store and use our bank card to pay for a $50 - $60 line of credit for them so the mom can make Christmas dinner.

I don't see how I can do it--yet is is something I do every year and they count on it. Thursday would be the last day that I could do that for them and I don't see money magicaly appearing between now and then.

My husband has money automatically deducted from his pay for our kid's college fund and for our retirement-- as yale has matching funds for that. You automatically DOUBLE what goes into your reitirement fund. We cannot fund these two things, pay for our health and life insurance and also put much money away for short term. What short-term money we had we just took out to cover the November mortgage.

I can't see a solution to this. It looks like on christmas day I may be serving stone soup next to my empty refrigerator. I can't remember the last time I felt so terrible and so unable to solve something.

My eating is fine-- I am not over eating due to stress and I did walk/run and go to the gym this morning.

I heard from an old friend whom I haven't seen in years and she is stopping by this afternoon for a visit. I need to pull myself together before she gets here. I can't be telling someone I haven't seen in years that life is shit right now.

I am usually optimistic when other people can't be. I am usually the one to find a solution or acccept what must be quietly. But I feel crushed by this and feel bad for my husband. He NEVER misses a day of work. Never. Yet it looks like the man isn't even going to have a Christmas dinner.

I was going to suggest going to the local food pantry to see if we could get help with Christmas dinner. But I was looking across the room at his face and I know that I cannot suggest such a thing. It would make him feel worse.

Wake me when chirstmas is over.
xoxo

Monthly Progress Report with pics

2009-12-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the month again. No, not THAT kind of "Time of the Month." I am talking about my monthly progress report with pics. To refresh your memory, the pic above is how I looked last spring and the gal behind me in white is my BFF Jeanne.

The pic above was taken back in August 2009 for my very first monthly progress report, as I didn't start my blog until then. And the pic below was taken today, wearing the exact same clothes. Those are twenty pound weights that I am holding below and, yes, girlfriend CAN pump out bicep curls and overhead presses with that weight.

Although we are each our own worst critic even I can see that I am smaller around the middle and my neck area looks way different. Underneath the bra area near the sides you can see things starting to cinch inward instead of sticking out. The boob area looks smaller and more uplifted.

Now on to the numbers.........(tell the invisible drummers in your head to start the drum roll now).........

This month I lost another 1/2 inch off my neck, making it 16" now. For the first time since I started measuring back in July, my chest stayed exactly the same. My waist came down another 1 1/2 inches and I lost 2 whole inches off the hips. This is the most weight that I lost from around the middle in one month since I started, and since this is my problem area, I am thrilled.

I lost 1/2" from each upper arm and 1/2" off each thigh. My calves stayed the same. So I have a total of 6 inches lost this month, which is about what I have been averaging. I was hoping that because of the jogging, the number would be higher. In a sense, it is, because I've been averaging only 1/2 an inch off my waist each month and maybe an inch off my hips. This month, my losses in those areas are DOUBLE what they've been averaging-- so I am not unhappy.

My total inches lost since July --- 38 1/2! Wrap it up, I'll take it!

Since this is the last monthly update for the calendar year, I thought I'd throw in some additional stats. When I first started walking, which I believe was back in August, I could barely manage going around the block-- which is about 1/4 of a mile.

I mean it would REALLY kill me to the point that I would have to lay down when I got back and my head would be pounding-- you could actually SEE the blood vessels in my forehead pumping away. That was some scarey shit homies! Now I can walk 3-4 miles and be fine with it. PLUS, I can run a complete mile and I am working on the second mile.

My first visit to the gym, which I have logged as July 26th, 2009, I could BARELY do bicep curls with ten pounds, now I can do 20 pounds. I set the chest press machine on 30 pounds that day, I now set it at 100 and I up it to 115 for my last set.

Back then, doing flies with the cables I could barely eek out reps of 10 using 20 pounds. I now set that bad boy at 80 pounds and up it to 90 for my last set.

My first day on the seated row, I set the weight at 60 pounds and my back hurt for WEEKS but I kept doing it. I knew it was a weakness thing and not a serious injury thing. I now pull 150 on that and I need to raise the weight as when I did three sets the other night I felt like I could just keep doing that all night long. So, time to up that. No more backaches and my shoulders are ridiculously strong.

When I first started, I did my squats with no weight and I could barely get myself into a half-squat position. I was afraid of falling and of hurting my knees. Most of my weight is in the gut and things got to a real comical stage at one point as I could achieve squating down but barely had the strength to get myself back up as there was this massive gut sitting there holding me down. I now squat perfectly and go as deep as is possible, holding 25 pound weights in each hand. This has gotten too easy and I need to up the weight.

There is still enough fat on my arms that you can't see in a pic what is going on there but I've got biceps that are literally close to softball size, a good tricep starting to form, along with delts and definition between the bicep and the delt when I flex . Where the arm connects to the body, that space between the arm and the chest has developed a thick ridge of muscle that you CAN see if I take my bra off and flex-- which is something I'm not doing here, not even for you!

My BUTT has gotten totally rock hard from the squats and now that I'm running, that will finish the job. It is the one place on my body where there is almost nothing left that "jiggles." It figures, where my progress is best, I can't see it to enjoy it. LOL

Now here's a story that I have been holding onto for months-- I've been letting it percolate inside me and motivate me for months. I now feel ready to share it. When I first joined the gym, I think it was my first week there, I was sitting on the chest press machine.

There was a lovely young lady sitting acorss from me on one of the leg machines and the WAY she was looking at me is something I will NEVER forget. Never. No, she did not look at me with contempt, curiousity or disgust. Having been 6'3" and over 400 pounds, I was used to that. No friends, she looked at me with PITY.

PITY. PITY!! WHAT THE FUCK! I could not bear it. Somewhere deep inside, even at 400 pounds, I was Chickzilla-- the Amazon Runner and NO ONE PITIES ME. NO ONE! That was it, something snapped inside at that moment and I have never looked back.

I WILL NOT be someone that other people pity. Not just "no", but HELL NO! So when I want to pig out or slack off, I bring up the memory of that look-- I never want to see it again. I am chickzilla, the amazon runner, mistress of the steep stair, lifter of iron, pow wow dancer, runner of endless miles. I will not be on the receiving end of anyone's pity. Fuck that. Hell no, Hell fucking no. NO NO NO!

Yes, I have myself all worked up. I have a holiday party to go to on Saturday and if anyone dares to offer me a cookie they might find the entire tray shoved up their ass sideways. I can't look at cookies without thinking of that girl's face.

Ok, I shared. Hope it helps someone in some small way.

The pic above is my BFF Jeanne. We went out to a Thai restaurant for lunch today and yes, I did eat more carbs than I usually have in a day. I had pad thai, chicken in a ginger sauce and some of that coconut soup! Yummy! I LOVE Thai food and haven't had it since the summer!

Here we are together in the restaurant. It is hard to make out but my shirt says MOTIVATE AND DOMINATE. There is a hilarious story about why my DH bought me that shirt, but this is already a long post so I will save that for another day! Trust me, it wil be worth the wait.

It will be the new year when I post my next monthly update! Overall, I am happy with my progress for 2009 as it stands right now.

Be good to yourself!
xoxox

A Favorite Recipe

2009-12-16T15:00:00.000-08:00

Just a quick post. I make an orange "glaze" for chicken, fish or pork that is really good, plus it is gluten and fat free.

Grill, broil or pan cook your fish or meat and put aside. In a large skillet or wok, plop in about a tablespoon of frozen orange juice concentrate per serving of meat and add a few splashes of low sodium soy sauce. Heat over med-high heat and mix until hot-- and you've got yourself a glaze.

Put the meat or fish in the skillet and turn to coat with the glaze. Great plain like this but we like it with fresh ginger. I first grate some peeled fresh ginger into the skillet (for this, I spray with oil)THEN I make the glaze as above.

Although this seems simple, it is VERY tasty and not very caloric if you don't go nuts with it. It contains some natural sugar so if you are diabetic or carb conscious you'll have to take that into account.

When I serve this to company they RAVE about it and everyone says the glaze tastes like something that would be hard to make.

DH LOVES this with salmon and we have it at least once a week. I keep a can of OJ concentrate in the freezer just for this. It is good when you mix some blanched broccoli or asparagas in with it and the meat or fish. It makes sort of an orange stir-fry thing-- very good.

I tried it with regular fresh OJ but it doesn't get as thick unless I cook the crap out of it and it is not as orangy.

I recently served chicken and brocolli made this way for company and garnished the top with some slivered almonds and served the whole thing with a side of brown and wild rice. Everyone went NUTS and hosed a huge seving plater of it.

I'll do a regular post tomorrow-- I am getting ready for the gym right now!

Advice From A Pro

2009-12-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I bought the book ARNOLD - THE EDUCATION OF A BODY BUILDER by Arnold Schwarzenegger, per the recommendation of someone on one of the body building message boards.

I read the book from cover-to-cover, high-lighting certain parts. Now I go back over it and skim it when I feel the need. No matter what I may think of Arnold as an actor or a politician, few would argue what he brought to the body building world when he picked up his first weight at age 15.

At that at time, Arnold weighed only 150 pounds on a 6-ft plus frame. Everyone told him that he was too tall and didn't have the right kind of body to build impressive mass. So much for what "they" say, huh?

Arnold ignored the naysayers and 30 years ago built a physique that is still legendary today and probably will be for decades to come. So I am inclined to listen when someone like this wants to give advice on reaching my goals-- which are no where near as demanding as becoming a world champion.

One thing Arnie suggested is that you search for photos of someone whose body would be your ideal. This person's image should be a realistic comparison to yourself if you were at your best. In other words, if you are white and short and set out to look like Venus or Serena Williams that is not a realistic goal for you to attain.

Your ideal should be a stretch for you and really give you something to strive for, and yet it should not be beyond the realm of possibility if you worked hard enough. Arnie found his ideal in a body builder that was famous during that time named Reg Park.

Reg Park was Arnold's height and basic body style but had built up an incredible amount of mass and raw power. Arnie put pics of Reg Park all over. He lived, breathed and ate Reg Park until-- guess what? - One day he competed against his idol in a body building competition, and WON!

And so, I have been searching all over for the image of a woman that would inspire me. I am 6'3" so the image of anyone short is not going to cut it. Also, I will NEVER be willowy, not ever. There is a natural layer of muscle on my body that was there long before I ever thought of lifting weights. So there is a natural strength and a tendency to look thick and athletic rather than willowy-- and I have spent the past few months apologizing to my body for all of the years that I could not accept that! I have to work with what I've been given.

I found some amazons on the body building sites and message boards who are my height or taller. But some of them have taken the muscle thing a lot farther than I would like to do. If you're a tall gal like me and you bring your body fat way down after building a lot of muscle, well, that cut-up look seems too masculine on a tall gal. I prefer the look of a tall woman who has built muscle and definately looks athletic, but who has left enough body fat to soften the look.

ANYWAY, after much searching, the image on the top of this post is about the closest I've come, so far, to an "ideal" for me. The woman in the photo above is 1/2 an inch taller than me and weighs 200 pounds-- which is my goal weight right now.

Yeah, I know, those of average height marvel that a woman can weigh 200 pounds and look that fit. But that is what I am striving for. I am probably 20-30 years older than this woman, gave birth to five kids-- three of them triplets, had two abdominal surgeries and smoked two packs a day for nearly twenty years.

So is it realistic to think that I can look EXACTLY like her? Probably not. But, based on my body style, this would be my ideal if I were to achieve it, so I plan to get as close to this as is possible given my age and personal history. Like her, I am tall and strong with a tendency for large, thick muscles. I am small breasted at my goal weight, as she is. My calves seem thin compared to my thighs, as hers do. Our coloring is similar. So this is it. Her pic is on the cover of my fitness journal, on the cork board above my computer, on the refrigerator door, even in the van so I see it when we drive around!

As Arnie suggested, everyday, several times a day, I picture myself reaching my goals. I close my eyes and picture myself 6 months from now, shopping for new clothes to wear during my trip to South Dakota. It will be the height of summer and very hot-- so my arms and legs will be bare-- but I won't mind, as all of the running and weight training will have brought me to a point where clothes look good on me.

I see myself shopping for short skirts, sun dresses and shorts at my goal weight. I see myself around the time of my wedding anniversary in July, picking out a black dinner dress to wear out to dinner with my husband. I see myself wearing the dress with silk stockings and black T-strap sandals, and my husband being proud to be seen with me as we take our seats in our favorite restaurant.

Before I walk/run or work out, I think about all of these things, and I think about the sacrifices and hard work and determination and sheer force of will that it is going to take to get me to that point. If I put a half-hearted effort into my walking/running and go to the gym and do garbage reps with light weights then I will never achieve my goals!

The woman in the photo above did not achieve her state of fitness by being comfortable. She ate fish and egg whites when her friends ate pizza, and she refused to feel sorry for herself-- because she KNEW where she was going. She skipped the booze at the office parties and business lunches and ordered ice water with a twist of lime instead; she worked out- HARD - when she was weary and doing so was the last thing that she wanted to do.

She was not "comfortable" during cardio or weight training, she was out-of-breath, sweaty, tired, sore --- she knew that "comfortable" wasn't going to get her the results that you see there, so she pushed and pushed.

And so, I close my eyes before I exercise, and think about all of this stuff,and "see" my ideal and remind myself over and over and over again every day that my results are going to follow my efforts, Period. It is not realistic to think that your results will exceed your efforts. Not with this. Not with fitness. There is no way to be dishonest or to fake it here. Either your ass fits into your running shorts or it doesn't. End of story.

And this is what I think about everyday when I make choices about food and exercise and proper rest. And ya know what? Arnie was right. This has helped me a great deal!

If I want to stop shopping in the plus department and look good next summer for the first time in years-- no one is going to hand it to me. This is something that only I can achieve for myself and it is going to take sacrifice and hard work. This time of year, when I repeatedly have to stare-down plates of Christmas cookies and treats, booze, and carbs out the wazoo-- I may lose my way if I put my dream aside for the temporary pleasure of sugar cookies and glasses of wine. It is hard this time of year. Victory would not be anywhere near as sweet if the journey weren't this hard! I CAN do this.

So if you're having trouble focusing on your program because you aren't sure what you are fighting for. Get sure. Find an ideal for health and body image and keep it in front of you at all times.

Also, just wanted to let everyone know that I ran a complete mile today! YEA! I went to the beach/boardwalk where it is not HILLY like my neighborhood, just to see how far I could go at a stretch and it was just over a mile. So this is a proud day for me!

The weather here this week will be more tolerable than it was last week, so I should be able to get more walking/jogging intervals in-- and I am happy about that as I really feel like the running is what is going to help me get rid of the remaining fat.

Jeff went back to work today after being home sick yesterday. His being home threw off my schedule so I have a busy day to get on with! Be good to you today!

P.S. I didn't buy the Arnold book for training or nutritional tips. In that sense, the book is dated as they didn't know (for sure) some of the things about nutrition and body building that we know today. Even the photos are dated and that cracks me up. I bought the book because it is a story of determination to change ones body and what kind of focus that takes. From that point of view-- I enjoyed the book!

I'll be back.................... LOL

xoxox

Week in Review Fitness Totals

2009-12-13T23:02:00.000-08:00

Hello Friends. Hope you all had a GREAT weekend! Here are my fitness totals for the week of Sunday, December 6 to Saturday, December 12.

The bad news is-- it was not a good week for walking/running outside. It either rained or was freezing (or both) just about every day. In spite of that, I got some walking with jogging intervals in-- just not as much as I would have preferred.

I got in 3 hours of walking/jogging, 1 hour at the gym and worked out with DVDs at home 4 times for a total of 6 hours and 40 minutes of exercise. The majority of fitness hours came from the fitness DVDs because of the weather.

One thing that sucks, timing wise, is that my ability to start adding the jogging intervals to my walks is coinciding with winter weather in New England. Today was the start of a new week and I wanted to get off to a good start no matter what-- so even though it was raining, I used an umbrella and did my jogging intervals anyway.

But I will do my best to tough it out till spring. I'll bundle up and use an umbrella to get out there as often as I can.

I did manage to finish the second phase of the ChaLEAN Extreme program and will begin the last phase this week! When I am done with that, I plan to try the 30-day shred with Jillian Michaels!

I put in an hour of upper body work at the gym today and pulled 150 pounds on the seated row. Thing is, that is no where near my maximum on that and I know it. I did 3 sets of ten and felt like I could have pulled more, so I will up it a bit more next time. This was the last exercise I did today and I had pushed myself on others and was wet and irritable from walking/jogging there with an umbrella.

One thing that happened today that DH and I laughed about on the way home. This cardio bunny was on a treadmill across from where I was using the chest, arm and back machines and she kept watching me. Then she came over and sat on leg machines directly across from me to get a better look.

I know the look all too well. When you used to be really heavy, as I was, you can have nearly a year of walking and weight training under your belt and have lost a great deal of weight already. However, since you are still heavy, people will assume that you are out-of-shape and have no stamina. They think that you are new to the gym.

So I see the look in this cardio bunny's eyes, the look that says, "No f*cking way is this fat bitch stronger than me." Finally, she starts following me on the machines to see what I have them set on, and trying to lift or pull what I can-- which is simply not going to be possible for some 120 pound woman.

People are so silly! It was obvious that she was VERY irritated and when she followed me on the chest cable fly machine, I thought she was going to have a bird right there, as I do 3 sets at 80 pounds with full range of motion, then I up it to 90 pounds and pull as far as I can, as I trying to reach 100 pounds by the first of the year.

I probably bench press more than that woman weighs, but because she is thin and cute, in her mind, she should be able to kick my ass on the machines and in the weight room. LOL Maybe she won't underestimate someone in the future because they carry extra weight.

On other fronts, DH is coming down with a cold and is taking Monday off from work. I already had a busy day in the works so in all probability, I won't be online much today and will have to go around and catch up on all of your blogs on Tuesday.

I'll be posting my monthly progress report within the next week or so and I am actually looking forward to it. Hope you're all doing well!

Where the mind goes, the body follows!
xoxo

Hot 100 Update

2009-12-11T08:50:00.000-08:00

This was another pretty busy week. Fitting in exercise with a lot of demands on my time from work and family is not easy-- but I did it. Here's my Hot 100 goals-- which I modified last week, and how I did:

Exercise a minimum of five hours a week: Without even checking my fitness journal, I know that I've got this! My totals aren't going to be the massive amount they were a few weeks ago, as my schedule right now won't allow that; but I know that I will have exceeded the minimum when I log my fitness hours for the week, which I generally do on Sunday or Monday.

Eat Foods Rich in Omega 3's at least 3 times a week: Again, I aced this. This is almost so easy for me that maybe it shouldn't even be a goal. Then again, there are plenty of times when we are busy and I don't feel like cooking, and DH says he'd be fine with some scrambled egg whites-- but BECAUSE of this goal, I'll quickly grill some salmon and throw a salad together.

By the way girls, I don't do most of the cooking because of anything like an old fashioned marriage. I do it for two reasons. One, DH works a physically demanding job with a lot of overtime, putting in at least 50-60 hours most weeks. I work from a desk at home and therefore don't mind being the one who does MOST of the cooking and cleaning. What I do can be stressful but it is not physically demanding.

The other reason I prefer to do the cooking is that Jeff simply isn't as good at it as I am. I have a flair for it. When people eat over here they almost ALWAYS ask how I can make low-fat, healthy food taste so good. Honestly, I dunno, it is just a talent I have.

Complete all three months of the ChaLEAN Extreme program: I am somewhat off schedule for finishing this before the end of the year, due to the flu I had last month and a super-busy week a few weeks ago. But I am on track for starting the final phase on Monday and I WILL take this to the end as I feel this program has helped a lot. When I am done with the program, I will do a post with details of my results and an honest review of the product.

Consume at least five fruits and veggies a day: I'm good here too. One thing that has helped is something that I started doing about a month ago. You all know that I gave up "fake sugar" of any kind. I do not drink soda or crystal light and I limit myself to one or two cups of coffee a day. I don't mind drinking water, especially in summer, but this time of year, I can only stand so much of it.

When I read Arnold's body building story not too long ago he talked about mixing orange juice with water and ice in a huge container and he would just drink that at the gym for extra vitamins-- no doubt this was an early, home made form of gatorade. Well, this gave me the idea to do this with grapefruit juice. Studies now back-up what our grand mothers used to say about grapefruit helping the body to break down fat.

So, for the past month, I drink 16 oz of grapefruit juice a day that I mix with water. Every morning when I get up, I immediately grab my fitness journal and put in 200 calories for the grapefruit juice and cross two fruits off of my requirement for the day. As I posted yesterday, I can tell that I am going to have a more substantial fat loss this month.

This is one of several things that are different so I don't know how much this new habit is contributing to my success, but I have been enjoying doing it and will continue. When I feel like splurging, I buy whole, organic grapefruits and make the juice fresh squeezed-- makes me feel like a princess!

Eat only when hungry: Last week I changed one of my goals from eating 5-6 small meals a day to eating only when hungry. I think that this was a good move, at least for the time being. My calories for the past week have ranged anywhere from 1200 to 2000 per day, with 1600 being about the average. Interestly enough, 1600 is the average most days irregardless of whether I eat two times or three or four times in a day.

All in all, the grapefruit juice, avoiding grains, the eating only when hungry and the jogging intervals seem to combine into a formula that has transformed my body into a fat-melting machine. I don't know how to explain it but I can actually feel my body melting the fat away every day.

I was losing steadily all along, but slowly these past few months. Now, even without a scale I can tell that the pace has picked up. I believe that when I return to the doc's at the end of the month there will be a substantial loss.

I am sure that as my body adapts to what I am doing now that the rate of burn will slow down again and I will have to tweak the formula if I want to keep progressing at this rate-- but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Right now, I feel in this wonderful state of grace that what I am doing is effective. I feel energetic and healthy-- something you may take for granted in your 20's or 30's but not at my age!

Anyway, what I have loved most about this challenge of Steve's is that it keeps me looking at things and being honest about how effective they are.

Have a great day my friends! Remember, where the mind goes, the body follows!

It's About Freakin' TIme!

2009-12-10T09:33:00.000-08:00

Last night DH was looking at me as I cooked dinner and said, "Your waist suddenly looks smaller." He kept bringing it up until finally I thought, "Oh, hell's bells, I just gotta know." So I went upstairs, peeled off my shirt and measured my waist, even though the time for my monthly progress report is a good week away.

I was shocked that my waist was down a good inch and a half to two inches from last month's progress report. So I measured my hips. Same deal-- down quite a bit. FINALLY!

What is so great about this is that these are my problem areas and they have been lagging behind in getting results. From day one I have consistently lost more from my chest and thighs than I have from the gut.

Plenty of months, the loss from my waist has only been half an inch and the hips not much better. When you carry most of your weight around the middle and that's where you have the LEAST amount of weight loss -- it can get pretty discouraging.

Numerous have been the times when I have taken my measurements for my monthly progress report and seeing the smallest change in the area that needs it the most, I would think, "What the f*ck am I bothering for? Why am I working so hard month after month for a lousy 1/2" loss off my gut while meanwhile, the 'girls' are disappearing?"

I would be so disappointed, so discouraged and fed up. BUT I NEVER GAVE UP. Never! I would indulge those feelings for awhile as they are understandable. But then I would reaffirm the need to persevere, to try harder, to keep going.

It looks like when I post my monthly measurements in my progress report for December, I will have the greatest loss showing in the middle of my body FOR THE FIRST TIME. At long last, after almost 9 months of effort, the weight is finally starting to come off the problem area.

The reason I am posting about this is--- what if during month 3 or month 5 or month 7 I had given up? If at any point I had let my discouragment, frustraton and impatience get the better of me, I would have robbed myself of the satisfaction that I feel right now.

We MUST persevere! We must keep moving forward! If you eat right and move your body the weight will come off. You cannot weigh yourself every 5 minutes and throw your hands up in despair every time 2 days goes by without a change you had hoped for. This is a life-long commitment!

We can do this!

You have to do what others won't to achieve what others don't

xoxooxox

Become a "try" athlete

2009-12-08T10:03:00.000-08:00

The days have become weeks that became months and the time has flown by. Seems like only yesterday that I was a 400-plus pound woman who could barely get out of bed in the morning.

I never binge anymore and very rarely stray from my food plan. And when I say NEVER, I mean never. Numerous other destructive habits have vanished and I have been thinking and evaluating the WHY of it. I tried to get here before and failed. Why was I able to do it this time?

I see so many people on these blogs who suffer with the excess weight, obsessive food behaviors and all that goes with it. They have trouble getting started on a path of change, or they start but have frequent returns to binge-behavior or other behaviors that halt their progress and make them feel worse about themselves.

I have been trying to understand how I arrived where I am now, and also how to articulate it in a way that might be useful to others. I will be sharing my thoughts on this here and there, beginning with this post today.

They say there is no magic pill. No, there isn't. But that doesn't mean that there is not magic. There is, and it is in you-- it is just a matter of learning how to access it.

The Nike ads say "just do it." That's great for average people but for the morbidly obese, the binge eaters and others like us, there is no long-lasting transformative power in merely "doing." We should know, as we've been on 67 million diets and started so many fitness programs that we lost count years ago.

For me, (and I am convinced it applies to others like me) there is no transformative power in merely doing, the power is in the becoming-- in the being. Let me explain this a few different ways.

A diet is something that you do, as is an "exercise program." They are something that you do, NOT something that you are. As something that you do, it is just as easy to stop doing them, and eventually, we generally do stop-- and find ourselves back at square one-- or perhaps even FATTER than when we started.

As fat people, our sense of identity and self-worth is severely injured and impaired. Countless times we tried to change our identity from someone who eats too much to someone who is able to stay on a "diet," and each time we fail, we feel worse about ourselves.

In talking with former fat people who have become runners and body builders and kept the weight off successfully for years, I realized that diet and exercise are only effective if they are used as tools to help you become the healthy, powerful and energetic athelete that you could be.

You can start a diet on Monday and go off of it by Wednesday. But once you become an athelete, you are an athelete EVERYDAY and will be very likely to make choices that will support that instead of working against it.

I am not suggesting that we all try to become championship swimmers, ultra marathon runners or olympic-class body builders. That is not usually realistic for people with careers and family to deal with.

If you've always been fat, never have been atheletic, never played a sport then I understand that this would be difficult for you. It was for me too. I never before pushed myself physically as I have been doing now. I never knew my own limits. Didn't know what I could or could not do. Finding out, venturing into uncharted territory is empowering beyond anything else I have ever tried.

Food, whether pigging our or depriving myself of it, used to have such monumental power. It was the center of my universe. The Gospel according to Lori-Ann. Now it is just a tool to get my atleticism where I want it to be.

No, this is not going to be easy. Worthwhile things seldom are. Set a goal. See the athelete you can be and avoid anything that does not support that. Keep going until the day comes when you feel up to really testing your limits-- at that moment, walk a little faster, swim until you cannot do another stroke, up the weights on the bar, lift your legs higher while doing your aerobics dvd and don't stop, don't stop, don't stop and THEN---------

A crack will form in the door that's hiding the magic in you, the magic that will help you do the seemingly impossible with your body. Yeah, I know you might have been the fat girl or boy at school who hated gym, hated sports. That's because you thought you couldn't do it. There was no one around to tell you that you could and to guide you to that point, but there is now! I'm tellin' ya, you CAN do this. You CAN become an athelete and put all of this fat business behind you.

For myself, I am a bit older than some of you. I arrived late in the game so I don't have as many years left to enjoy my body and my health. For this reason, as I look toward the new year and ponder what my goals should be-- I have decided to take this to the limit and beyond.

It is no longer enough for me to get to goal weight and think of myself as an athlele-- I am taking this over the top. I am NOT allowing myself a comfort zone for any length of time, any time soon. Every time I reach a new level of strength and endurance I intend to go past it, to go beyond what I think I can do-- and to keep repeating this again and again.

So for 2010-- I am challenging one and all to become a "TRY" athlete. Don't just do, BECOME! Keep trying and experiementing until you find your path, then keep pushing until you can maintain a good stride. Nothing will stop you after that!

I don't know how to make "awards" or banners-- or else I'd make one to give to everyone who wants to give this a try.

If one person benefits by what I've written here, I'll be thrilled! Rock on, homies!

Significant Milestone Award

2009-12-07T10:46:00.000-08:00

Good day my homies! I had a fantabulous weekend and seem on the way to achieving things that are blowing my mind!

At the gym I've been upping my weight whenever I can and I am making great gains of strength and development. Weeks ago, the "fantasy" started passing through my mind that, wouldn't it be great if I could pull 100 pounds on the cable chest fly by the new year? In my top shape back in my 20's I wasn't pulling that kind of weight.

As one week melts into the next, I keep inching the weight up........Imagine my shock yesterday at the gym when I upped the cable chest fly to 90 pounds. Yes, 90! Granted, I could only do 4-5 reps......... but who knows.... maybe by the new year I will be able to pull 100.

90 pound cable flies! I am a woman. Do you realize how jacked a woman has to be to pull that kind of weight? Holy crap, I still can't believe I did it! And that came immediately after a walk/run with plenty of LONG jogging intervals in the mix.

So imagine my sheer JOY when I logged onto my blog and found the Significant Milestone Award waiting for me -- a gift from my home girl over at 266.

Now, one thing you're not going to get from me today is any false show of modesty. I have been working my ass off to start running again and to beat my personal bests at the gym week after week. So none of that "ahh shucks" stuff today!

I EARNED this award. I deserve it! And I am displaying it proudly! I am grateful that I have it in me to work this hard and I am grateful for friends like 266, who UNDERSTAND how much sacrifice and effort I am putting out to achieve the results that I want--and who take the time to celebrate those milestones with me. You are a true friend 266 and I value that more than can be expressed!

This morning I took my 2-mile route around the neighborhood and I ran for just over 1/2 a MILE before I had to drop it down to a walk because of a hill. I am fairly confident that on a flat track I could run a mile straight or more without stopping -- and this is only one week into my running again.

I need to get going to get my ChaLEAN work-out in today. I gotta stay on track with that so that I can start the LEAN phase next week-- the final phase of the program!

I feel fantastic today and hope that you do too! Thanks for believing that I could do this even before I could! You guys rock!

Hot 100 Update and Weekly Fitness Totals

2009-12-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

Another week has gone by. Yikes-- the year's end is coming quickly! My doctor appointment with its weigh-in is three weeks from Tuesday and the new year will be later that week. I gotta stay focused! LOL

Here's my Hot 100 Goals and how I did for the week-- along with my new goal and some adjustments that I am announcing here.

Exercise a minimum of 5 Hours a week - I did this but will put the details in my weekly fitness totals below.

Eat Foods Rich in Omega 3's at least 3 times a week: I aced this, as usual. Thank God I love salmon, and flax seed on my oatmeal. LOL

Complete all three months of the ChaLEAN Extreme Program: This is a work in progress. I did all of my scheduled work outs this week and will include more details in my fitness totals below.

Consume at least 5 fruits and veggies a day: There were a few days this week where I felt mysteriously "unhungry" and ate very sparse meals based on a small serving of protein and nothing else. So I probably didn't succeed in this.

Eat 5-6 small meals a day: When I made this goal I felt like this was something I needed to do at the time to avoid getting too hungry- which I feared would lead to binging. I no longer feel this way or have those fears -- so I honestly feel that I have outgrown the need for this challenge.

What I have actually done this week is to only eat when hungry. (Imagine that? what a concept) For instance, some mornings I wake up so ravenously hungry that I need to get downstairs right away and make breakfast.

Other mornings, I feel like I can wait to eat -- so this week, I did. Looking over my food journal, some days I ate 2 meals and no snacks. Some days I did not eat breakfast. Some days I did not eat lunch-- or else I would have my lunch in the middle of the afternoon. Other days I was hungrier and had all three meals and snacks too-- but never let myself go over my calorie limit-- even last Sunday when I was at that Birthday Party-- I did not have any cake, not even a taste.

So I am replacing this challenge with a new one-- which will be TO EAT ONLY WHEN HUNGRY for the remainder of the year. I will not eat based on the clock or based on anything except my own body telling me it needs fuel.

I believe that last week I mentioned a NEW GOAL of trying to get into the 200's before my doctor visit on the 29th -- which would mean losing 8 pounds. Well, I have been really applying myself to that goal, actually, to surpassing the 8 pounds to whatever degree possible.

So it's like I put myself in a 30-day boot camp. LOL! I dialed back the calories by only eating when hungry and only consuming MEASURED SERVINGS of the lowest fat choices available. No sauces, spreads, or treats or extras of any kind. NONE! I added jogging intervals to my walking and forced myself to walk and do the ChaLEAN and other exercises in spite of a busy work week.

This ultra strict, sparten regime is not something that I could ever maintain for any length of time and I know it. But I am going for it in the short-term to give myself the gift of being in the 200's on New year's eve.

FITNESS TOTALS FOR THE WEEK

Gym - 1 hr and 10 minutes
Walking with jogging intervals - 3 hours and 20 minutes
Cardio and ChaLEAN dvds- 2 hours and 10 minutes

For a total of 6 hours and 40 minutes of exercise. Not bad.

I SHOULD be starting the final phase of the ChaLEAN program on Monday-- but since I didn't do the chaLEAN last week, I am a week behind. So this week will be the final week of the PUSH Phase and I'll start the last and most challenging phase of the program next Monday.

One thing I am definately aware of is the increase in my strength and muscle size. There is still enough fat on my arms that looking at them, they seem like the same pudgy arms that I had two and three months ago. However, underneath that they change in composition more and more every week -- in a way that I can see and feel-- especially when I flex my arm muscles.

When my weight drops down enough for my arm muscles to be visible it is going to appear to everyone that I developed them over night. But actually, I've been working on this for months. Same thing with other areas. My arms and legs seem not to be getting smaller so much as swapping fat for muscle mass.

I shouldn't have, but I had the tape measure out to measure the dimensions of the medicine bags I was listing on eBay for a Lakota teen....... so yes, I checked my main measurements, even though my December progress report is still two weeks away....... and I lost 1/2 an inch of my waist and and inch off my hips. My arms also went down another 1/2 an inch.

The way it looks, I'll have more inches lost this month than the last-- so I am keeping my fingers crossed!

This coming week, barring anything unforseen, should be a good one for food and exercise. It should be an average work load and I have no social engagements or business luncheon meetings. I should have no problem getting the fitness hours in and staying the course with the food.

I have been thinking that if I get a one piece leotard type thing for my progress pics it will show the changes each month better than what I've been wearing. So if I can possibly get one before my next progress report in two weeks, I will. It is just a question of affording something like that. Money is ridiculous for us right now.

I surprised myself by starting to jog this week-- I didn't think I'd be doing that until spring........ So it looks like I'm setting myself up for some cold weather running as I cannot stand treadmills.

I wonder how long it will take me to run a complete mile................

Anyway, hope you're all enjoying the weekend! Be good to you today

Resurrecting the Runner

2009-12-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

I have waited many months for this day........ and here it is. Back in July, when I returned from the rez and got more serious about my diet and exercise, I bought the running shoes that you see in the pic above (yes, my feet really are that big). I also took a pic of my Lakota nephew Bernie and his two girls and had it made into a size 2X t-shirt for me to run in.

At the time that I bought the shoes and the shirt, neither would fit me and I was far, far away from doing any running. At the time, my shoes were a 13 XXXXW and my shirt a 4X-- and those are men's sizes. The shoes above are a 12 xxw - the size I wore when I was last able to call myself a runner -- about 11 years ago. And the shirt is a 2X-- a size I hoped to be able to fit into by spring.

I've been wearing walking shoes and have noticed them getting looser and looser, so my feet are actually smaller now. Last night, I was doing walking/jogging intervals on the way to the gym and when I really started to get into it and push myself, one of my shoes actually came right off. LOL

So, today, I got brave and took the new running shoes off my dresser where they have been sitting since I bought them (so that I'd have to look at them first thing every morning)and slid them on---THEY FIT PERFECTLY, almost as if they were custom-made for me. And they are so flippin' comfortable! I love them!

I was so thrilled that I decided to see how the t-shirt would fit. IT FITS!!!!!! I nearly fainted! So, outfitted in gear I didn't think I'd wear until March, I headed out the door to do my walk/run intervals--and I couldn't ask for a better day. It is unseasonably warm here in CT. I had on a light hoodie and got overheated at the end.

I can already see that my hilly neighborhood is going to be a challenge in determining how far I can actually go at a stretch. A lot of the hills are tough enough that back when I was a fit runner, I would have found them difficult. Now, I can barely walk them.

Last night, I filled out and printed my application to run in the New Haven Road Race, which is a half-marathon and takes place on September 6th, 2010. I am not mailing it yet though. I stuck it on the cork board by my desk so that I have to look at it every time I come to my computer. I'll leave it there for awhile as motivation and mail it in a few months.

Bernie (on the t-shirt) participated in the Sun Dance and my friend Jeanne and I were there to support him in that. As you know, I was so fat when we traveled to the rez that I had to buy two airline seats. Bernie and his family keep praying for us and for our health. They are people with a lot of faith. In fact, faith is one of the few things they have a lot of on the rez.

So this t-shirt is to remind me that I only want to buy ONE airline seat this time. And it's also to keep me from getting so physically oriented (through the diet and exercise) that I forget to allow myself a spiritual life.

Even though this journey began in March and was renewed in July, I felt another sort of renewal today, my journey back to becoming a runner became more real today; it moved from being something that might happen in the future to something that is happening now. This has really revitalized my enthusiasm! The lighter you are, the faster you can run-- so this should be motivation for me to be even more careful with the food going forward.

Helen, thank you for the offer of running links and advice. I'll take any help I can get, with gratitude. So, wrap it up, I'll take it!

Well, that is enough for today! I have a lot of work to do and need to squeeze in a ChaLEAN workout in order to stay on track with my fitness goals for the week. I hope you are all well! Be good to you today!

I ran (but not with a flock of sea gulls)

2009-12-02T13:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Wednesday my friends. If you need an extra shot of motivation, just visit Steve's Wednesday's Word of the Day over at his blog. Look in the upper right hand corner for today's message!

Yesterday and today were both very busy but I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I spent part of yesterday just running errands. In our town, June is the month that you license your dog and we had let our dog's licenses lapse. (yeah, I know, I know). After that incident Thanksgiving day with the pack of vicious dogs, I want to be prepared and completely "legal" if there is another incident.

So I went to our vet yesterday morning and got copies of our guys rabies shot certificates and brought those down to the town hall to update their licenses. It felt good to get that done. On Thanksgiving when we had that incident, the officer didn't ask if our dogs were licensed, if she had, we would have been sunk.

That taken care of, I went to the army/navy store down the road and bought a big ass can of pepper spray. This can is bigger than what I expected but it shoots a powerful stream up to 8 feet away. I tested it and it really does spray in a powerful stream, not a mist-- so it would probably be very effective.

It also doesn't spray in bursts but has continuous action and will spray as long as you hold down the button. It is made for security people working a crowd. So if that pack attacks again I can sweep it across them as they approach and it should work.

I dug out a fanny pack that I bought to wear during my trip to the rez and I will use that for walking from now on. It can hold the pepper spray, my camera, ipod, and cell phone without a problem.

By the way, speaking of that fanny pack, it was designed for big people so it was extra big to begin with--PLUS, I had to order an extender for it. Now, I took out the extender and had to cinch up the other part too. That sure felt good!

After that, I took Zeke for a walk/run at the Beach. Once again, I would walk for awhile then jog for awhile. Zeke LOVED it! He kept looking up at me as if to say, "Holy crap, mom is running with me." He was a good boy and stayed with the program. When I needed to walk, which was a lot at this point, he would slow down and not pull at the leash. So Zeke and I did two miles of walk/jogwalk/jog yesterday and I was so happy!

Today I got up and immediately did the Denise Austin cardio dvd that I used to do all of the time when I first started. It is only 25 minutes so I put it away when I began to feel like I needed more time.

SO I popped it in and found that I can put a lot more energy into it than I used to be able to do. This is pure cardio, but I wanted to make it more difficult so I held 5 pound dumb bells in my hands the whole time.

This worked, as I really had an elevated pulse through the whole thing, yet 5 pounds is not enough weight to make my arms get tired or sore. I am going to do this work out here and there when I get the chance so that I can take off as much weight as possible before my doctor visit at the end of the month.

THEN, late morning I took a 2 mile walk/jog around the neighborhood and followed that up with the ChaLEAN Extreme Push circuit 1-- which is a lot of arm work. It is only Wednesday and I already surpassed the fitness hours I put in last week and it looks like I will finish this week strong.

I am able to do bicep curls with 25 pounds now and triceps work with 20 pounds. Yes, I feel like my arms are going to fall off, but I CAN do it and I am so proud of how strong I am getting.

Yesterday I received a huge box of crafts from the Lakota kids. I needed to go through the items to see what everything is and what I would try to sell it for. I sat the box in front of my chair while The Biggest Loser was on and went through the crafts during commercials. I was able to get the whole thing done and started photographing them today-- so I'll have new items in the eBay store very soon.

There is a half marathon in my area every September and I am toying with the idea of pre-registering for it after the first of the year -- sort of as a new year's goal. My trip to the rez will be in early July and I hope to be very close to goal by then. But I want something for after that. I don't want to come home from the rez and not already have something else that I need to work on.

If I do sign up for it in January, I will have 9 months to get myself into good enough condition to run 13 miles. I think this is doable. I actually thought of this after seeing the Biggest Loser marathon last night. If they can do that after 5months, I should be able to do a half after 9 months of training, especially since I've been exercising since July.

I went back to being a little stricter with my food for the next few weeks. I really, really, really want to be under 300 when I go back to the doc's at the end of the month. It would be so incredible for me to start the new year in the 200's.

I have heard people talk about "one"-derland. Right now, I'd be happy with Two Town. LOL

I have work to do, just wanted to make sure I posted today. I hope you are all well and back on track now that turkey day is almost a week behind us.

Awards and week in review, with a side of Peppers

2009-11-30T00:16:00.000-08:00

I had a SUPER busy week last week and I am woefully behind in things I've been wanting to post about. So I am combining my weekly fitness review with my Hot 100 update and also acknowledging some awards that I received last week. Otherwise, I will be starting the week three posts behind--and since I have another busy week ahead, I don't want to do that. LOL

I also have a MILESTONE to report that I am super happy about, but let me get caught up first before I get into that.

So let's put friendship first and scope out the Deborah Award that I received! Ain't it purdy?

I am honored to have received two awards from my bear friend whose blog you can read here.
The above Deborah Award was originally created by Ces and you can read more about the award at her blog Ces and her Trees.

Steve over at Log My Loss is really great about stopping by various blogs to leave comments and encouragement, and he posts regularly in his own blog to share his journey and offer motivation. These awards are for the gals or Steve would be on the top of my list to receive them.

That said, I would like to pass the Deborah award on to the following women who are so generous in sharing their lives with their online friends and who never seem at a loss to offer words of encouragement. Thank you! Thank you for keeping your hearts open to the world and allowing the rest of us to benefit from your compassion, insight and good old fashioned friendship.

Sandra over at My Travels to Becoming a Better Me

266

Patsy over at Musings on a 100-Pound Weight Loss Journey

Leslie at Something Brilliant is Brewing

Helen at Doing a 180

Greta at Big Bottom Blogger

The Cilley Girl

Candace at Believing in C, C is me

Cincimom11

Kat at Fit Body Mind Spirit

Larkspur at Am I Really that fat

Jo over at 282.5

Becca over at The Finish Line

Angie at who do you choose today

Greta over at Big Bottom Blogger

Some of you may have already received this award from someone else. That just goes to show how wonderful you are! I am sure that I missed many deserving recipients as I am only human. Perhaps in passing this award on, some of you can select a few who have never received an award yet or a few of the regular posters and commenters that I missed.

My Bearfriend also sent me a second award but I would like to think a bit more about whom to pass it along to...........I won't let too much time go by, I promise.

Week in Review

Last week was one of the busiest and stressful weeks that I can recall having in a long time, the result being that my fitness totals for the week really suck ass! I only walked a total of 2 hours and spent 40 minutes at the gym. I never did the ChaLEAN workouts or the Biggest Loser Boot camp DVD.

Luckily, I remained fairly consistent with my food as it wasn't a case of drifting off my path or getting lazy, but of truly being overwhelmed. I walked to the gym last Sunday and put in a good workout-- but it all went downhill from there, exercise wise.

Monday I helped my friend Mandy deliver more pet foods and supplies to some of the local animal shelters. That took all day and involved a lot of heavy lifting. On Tuesday, I went to my new doc and spent 2 1/2 hours there-- then came home to take my new meds and lay down, as I wasn't feeling great-- which is why I went in the first place. Wednesday I spent all morning shopping for Thanksgiving food and preparing whatever I could ahead of time. I also cleaned the lower level of my house.

On turkey day we had to get my 90-year old mother-in-law from her assisted living to our house without letting her fall, plus serve the turkey dinner - all of this is after poor Zeke being attacked by those four dogs during our morning walk.

Friday was the day that I broke down at the gym and was crying all over the place--so Jeff took me home. Saturday I had work obligations all day and I am so behind there I don't know how I'll catch up --LOL. (Don' t know why I'm laughing, it is NOT funny)

So that was my week! Yikes! LOL

This coming week, I have a lot of work to do, but no social obligations--so I should be able to squeeze in more exercise. I am still determined to finish the year out strong! That said, let's move on to the

Hot 100 Update

Food wise, I met my goals last week by eating 5-6 small meals a day and consuming foods rich in omega 3's at least 3 times. But I completely failed with the ChaLEAN goal as I didn't do it even once! I also didn't meet my exercise goal of 5 hours a week for the reasons listed above.

I am disappointed, but not beating myself up as there was a lot going on during a holiday week. Based on my visit to the new doc, I am making a NEW Hot 100 Goal! I want to weigh under 300 when I go back on December 29th. That means I have to lose at least 8 pounds, which I think is do-able. Actually, I'd love it if I could lose 10-15 by then, but I'm not going to stress myself out. 8 pounds is achievable if I focus. It will be GREAT to start the new year in the 200's. Last year, I started the new year at 430 pounds.

By the way, my new blood pressure medication is working out! It took a few days, but I don't wake up with headaches any more. A side effect is it can make you feel tired, but I have noticed that feeling getting less every day as my system adapts. Going to the new doc was the best thing I have done for myself since starting my fitness journey almost a year ago.

Big News - I RAN Yesterday!

Yesterday, (Sunday) we had to attend a birthday party for a family member who turned 100 years old. Yup, 100. Talk about a Hot 100 challenge! LOL! Anyway, Sunday is a gym day for us and being that last week sucked so bad, I wanted to start this week out really strong. I planned to really work my ass off in the gym.

During my walk to the gym, I don't know what came over me, but I decided to try running for a minute and see what would happen. Honestly, I thought I would run 5-6 steps and have to stop. I was completely shocked when I was able to go a distance of about 100 feet.

I walked for awhile, then did it again. Once again,I was totally shocked by how far I went. Yes, it was a very slow jog, not a run. And being 307 pounds I was not moving with grace but with determination-- but I did it! I kept this up the entire 3 miles to the gym.

I named this blog "Amazon Runner" when I created it, because my dream has always been to be able to run again. Even though I have come to love the weight lifting, I want to run. I have never fully believed that I would be able to run again-- until today! Oh, I hoped I would, but didn't know if it would ever really happen. My favorite part of this fitness journey is those moments when you surprise yourself and realize that your dreams are slowly coming true.

I didn't see myself starting a running program until the spring, when I planned to start the couch to 5k program. I am NOT going to officially start that now as I have a ton of other goals I am working on and don't want to overwhelm myself. But I will keep doing this walk/run thing from now on-- putting no pressure whatsoever on myself to run a complete mile by any certain day.

Anyway, I was so excited by this unexpected development and wanted to share! In terms of that Birthday party-- I have great pics from it that I'll post soon and I am proud to say that I did NOT eat cake! I thought about the gut-twisting hunger pains I'd end up with if I ate pasta, bread and cake, so I didn't!

I have a super busy day that I must get on with! You are all in my thoughts and prayers! Be good to you today!

The Saga Continues

2009-11-27T11:27:00.000-08:00

Thank you all who showed friendship and support after that dog incident yesterday. I was so so so shaken up-- and your amazon runner is not easily shaken.

I have been thinking about this and I don't believe that I can carry a weapon to use against these dogs that would be lethal. Not that I am incapable of using violence to save my dog's life or my own. I am capable. But it would have to be a reaction to the moment. It's the fact that walking around with a lethal weapon would make the violence premeditated for me and I am uncomfortable with that even though I am acting defensively and am not the aggressor.

I believe in the law of attraction and I am afraid that if I prepare too much for violence, the universe will accommodate me and send it. So tomorrow, Jeff is taking me to the army/navy store for pepper spray. I will always carry that and a camera from now on when I walk. Hopefully this will be enough if there is another incident. If I can document it on camera and survive the ordeal, it could be the last time they do it.

I talked with two of the neighbors who've had incidents with the woman with the four dogs. In both cases, these people were on their own property with their own dogs when the vicious pack came by. Although in these two incidents, the pack of four happened to be leashed at the time, once they saw the other dog they struggled to break free and succeeded in both cases. One time, they pulled and knocked their owner on her backside, and dragged her on her butt across the lawn to attack a dog that was minding its own business on its own property.

In both of these cases, the potential victims made it to safety as they were so close to their own front door, so the police were not called. Although the police were told about these other incidents yesterday, they said that unless it was reported at the time, it's like it never happened.

If these neighbors had reported these incidents and I had reported the previous ones that we had, then there would already be a documented pattern established that the woman cannot control the dogs when they are leashed, that she often lets them off-leash knowing they bite, and that they are dangerous. No one wants to call the police on a neighbor and stir up divisive energy in the neighborhood, but this is one case where, in hindsight, I wish we all had.

There are children and elderly people who also walk their dogs in that tract of woods. The kids and teens also go in there to goof around and do dumb kid things. There is no where to go for help in there. One day, something is going to happen in there with those dogs that is more serious- then they'll probably take action but it will be too late. (Sigh, I pray this can be avoided)

Anyway, I got up this morning and walked to the gym. I have to walk right by the house with the four dogs when I take my walks to the gym. I don't have any pepper spray yet and I was nervous, but they weren't around.

It was pouring rain and cold-- so it was a miserable walk, made worse by the fact that I didn't sleep last night. I FINALLY got to the gym and hopped on the chest press machine first. I could not push the 115 pounds that I was able to do the last time I was in there. As I went down the line, it was the same thing on all of the machines. It was like the strength I've built up took a vacation for the day.

Finally, I was on one machine and I don't know what happened but all of a sudden I just started crying and couldn't stop. I had an extremely busy and stressful week capped off by the dog incident. I could not sleep last night as I was still upset and was up until 3am. I am not a woman who cries, so this was a big deal.

DH had been on the rowing machine and he always comes over when he's done to tell me how long he will be in the pool, which he saves for last. When he saw the state I was in, he just took me home.

I mentioned that I ate stuffing and gravy yesterday in moderation. Well, you would not believe how my body has reacted to that. I have not felt right since. I feel like I ate a jar of paste. For months I have been living on high quality protein, organic veggies and a modest amount of whole grains and fruit. No sugar or chemicals. I guess my body is intolerant now of the old way of eating---yikes.

I will not be eating any of the leftovers except for the turkey. I am not upset about how my body reacted to those foods because it will be all the easier for me not to be tempted by them. Next year, I won't be eating the stuffing or the gravy and I doubt very much that I will feel deprived.

We're thinking of taking Zeke somewhere to run tomorrow where he won't be attacked; and try to clear ourselves of the energy of the past week and just move forward. If I can, I will do a chaLEAN or a boot camp work out today, but if I end up not doing so and I don't reach my goal for the week in terms of fitness hours....... oh well.

Thank you all for being here and for listening! I hope you are well.

Attacked by a pack of dogs!! WTF?

2009-11-26T16:05:00.000-08:00

My son Tom and his girlfriend Michelle. Yes, he really is towering over the refrigerator. I think he is 6'5". Our youngest, Andrew is 6'8"-- we grow em big around here. LOL

In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, when I thought of what today's post would be about........... I figured it would end up being much like the posts of most of my blogging friends-- saying what I am thankful for, describing trying to eat in moderation and being honest about what I splurged on, sharing family pics like the one above.

But the way my day started was completely unexpected, really upsetting, traumatizing actually. It involves me and my dog Zeke, pictured above--he's watching my husband carve up the remaining turkey and hoping for a hand-out.

Gosh dad, can I have one little piece?

Zeke LOVES to run in the woods. There is a tract of woods in our neighborhood and we take him in there to run around while we walk. This morning I thought it would be nice to take Zeke for a morning walk in the woods before I started cooking.

I leashed him up and off we went on our "mother/son" adventure . DH stayed home with our older dog, Beau.

Once we got to the woods, I took the leash off of Zeke to let him run amok, as always. We hadn't gone far, maybe half a mile, when I saw a woman up ahead with a pack of 4 dogs. We have had negative and dangerous experiences with this woman on 2 other occasions. One dog is a Shepard and another a malamute-- these two are vicious and have attacked our dogs without provocation two other times. This isn't just barking-- the four of them surround and the two alphas-- the Shepard and the malamute, actually bite.

They were a distance away of about two city blocks. The minute I saw them, I called Zeke over to releash him and I planned to turn around and get out of the area. It was too late, they spotted us and they weren't leashed. Off they ran right towards us and I KNEW we were in trouble.

I have read that you should not turn your back on an attacking dog, as it incites their hunting instincts and they will pursue you all the more. I wrapped Zeke's leash around my arm and faced the onslaught.

They surrounded us and it was absolutely terrifying. The Shepherd and the malamute took turns biting Zeke. The other two did not bite, but closed in, barking.

Their owner is out-of-shape and was slow to arrive on the scene. I straddled Zeke's body in an effort to protect him and had started swatting the dogs away. The woman had the NERVE to say to me "Don't you dare hurt my dogs." I was surrounded by her wild pack, my dog has been bitten more than once, but she has the audacity to act as if I am the aggressor. HELLO!

She leashed up her dogs and took off without an apology. I called after her and said I was calling the police and that I know where she lives-- but she took off anyway.

To keep this post from being a small book, let me say that she LIED to the police and claimed that her dogs were leashed and that I was passing by her and her dogs managed to pull away and bark. She denied that they bit or were in any way aggressive.

NUMEROUS people in the neighborhood have had altercations with this woman over her dogs but no one ever called the police before, just as we never had. It turns out her dogs are not licensed. They gave her a written warning for allowing her dogs to create a nuisance and for being unlicensed. She has thirty days to license the dogs. Since it is my word against hers that they were unleashed and that they are the ones who bit my dog-- she basically completely got away with it.

The other times this happened, DH was with me and we were able to minimize the damage. I walk both alone and with Zeke all of the time now that I am fitter, so this is bound to happen again. These dogs have attacked and bitten in this neighborhood numerous times and she hasn't changed her habit of letting them run off-leash, so I doubt that she will be deterred this time either.

Let me say that every dog I've ever owned has been a rescue from the pound or a stray that I took in. I love dogs and would never want to cause harm or pain to a dog or any other living being. I am also conscious of the fact that the problem here is an irresponsible owner. If she wants to let the dogs get some exercise by running off-leash (understandable), she should put muzzles on them so if they encounter other dogs or humans they will not be able to bite.

But, I am searching the internet and researching some sort of protection to carry with me. One of these days, I won't be so lucky. If they ever go into a real pack frenzy their owner will not be able to stop them and my dog and/or myself could be mauled, perhaps seriously injured or killed.

Pepper spray is not good. On a windy day it could blow back into my own face. I thought a stun gun would be good-- but CT is one of the few states that restricts their use. You have to have a gun permit to carry a stun gun in this state. (Yes, I looked it up already)

I know that I am going to be anxious and afraid every time I leave this house now for a long time, and I shouldn't have to feel that way. The police won't do shit unless they attack and bite where there are witnesses and that is very unlikely. The owner will not take responsibility so that forces me into the position to have to think about the most effective way for me to be violent should this happen again-- and I HATE that most of all.

I am a big strong person, using a night stick I could probably hit a dog with enough force to crack its skull and stop an attack -- I resent the hell out of the fact that because some stupid "C U Next Tuesday" won't be a responsible dog owner, that I will very likely be put in this position of having to harm, if not kill an animal. I don't want to do this, but I am accepting the fact that I may have to and I am figuring out how to arm myself right now.

So that is how my day started-- all before breakfast! Jeez Louise! We cleaned Zeke up and the two main bites are on his thigh and side. I called my friend Mandy who owns the dog business as she has also been a vet tech, and asked her advice as to calling my vet on a holiday. She said the worst danger is an infection and I should watch the bites for redness and swelling and take him in for antibiotics if I note anything like that.

The bi-otch proved to the cops that her dogs had rabies shots so i am not worried about that. The cops told me that they explained to the woman that if one or more of her dogs ever seriously attacks anyone and it can't be determined which dog did it, that all of her dogs would have to be destroyed. They told her she is putting her dogs at risk every time she lets them off-leash, not to mention the damage they do to others.

Honestly, I don't think she will change. I am preparing for defensive action if and when there is another incident, so any advice as to a portable, effective "weapon" would be appreciated. I am not going to be a pacifist in this situation and let my dog or I be chewed alive by a pack of dogs, so please don't suggest that, because it is not an option.

Anyway, I have to force myself to walk tomorrow and not let my fear over this incident take over.

Now, as to the rest of the day. My mother-in-law ate with us, as well as our son Tom and his girlfriend Michelle. I trimmed the fat and sugar content of some favorite old recipes, but some of the things I used to eat I just can't go near now, period.

If anyone felt "deprived" that the table was not laden with fat and sugar, they didn't voice it. We had turkey, mashed potatoes, oven roasted butternut squash, broccoli, fresh cranberry relish, and yes, I made my famous stuffing and gravy-- and I ate both in moderation.

I was going to skip making the stuffing but DH begged me, pointing out that I only make it once a year. I grow the herbs in my garden every summer and freeze them along with some veggies. Then we eat them on the holidays and give thanks for our garden in winter.

So I made the stuffing and I'm glad I did. Everyone loved it, except for my MIL who has ciliacs disease and cannot eat wheat products. I found gluten-free pie crusts at Whole Foods and made a pumpkin pie that mom could eat too. It is made from brown rice flour. I expected
it to taste nasty. But it was flaky and delicious. If you weren't told that it was made from brown rice, you'd never know. They are pricey but worth every penny.

I thought I would have to struggle not to overeat today, but I didn't. I had one modest plate of food that was protein and veggie dominated, and the worst thing that I ate was the gravy. I felt SO FULL!! I was thinking about how I used to eat and I just can't do it now. In prior years, by now I would have ventured downstairs to have a turkey sandwich and another piece of pie, but I am still full and not even tempted-- thank God. So I feel very relaxed about Christmas now as I know that I can deal with it.

This week my exercise schedule has been totally f*cked. On Monday, I helped my friend Mandy deliver more pet supplies to the local animal shelters and was gone most of the day. Tuesday was my doctor appointment, which took all morning and wiped me out. Wednesday I spent the whole day shopping and cooking for today. And then there was today.............. my interrupted walk today was my first exercise since Sunday's walk to the gym.

So Friday and Saturday I need to go all out to reach my minimum fitness hours for the week and get back on track. The joy will be gone from my walks for awhile as I have to be on alert for attacks. Geez!

This was a long post-- bless your heart if you read the whole thing. Only a true friend would do so!

Hope you had a good day with your family!

Went to Doc - GOT WEIGHED

2009-11-24T10:57:00.000-08:00

In addition to getting a new Doc and getting weighed today, I had a totally bizarre experience in the Dr's waiting room-- but I will save that for last!

Ok, I will try to keep this as brief as possible, but still.................... by way of background, I haven't been happy with my primary care doc for quite awhile. For one thing, he is Asian, speaks with a thick accent and it can be hard to understand him.

Secondly, when I tell him something, he'll often "pooh-pooh" it and basically refuse to address what I am talking about. I don't like the medicine I am on for my high blood pressure. It makes my throat swell up and it is hard to breathe or swallow, so I stop taking it and the pressure goes sky-high. He has refused to change my medicine so I stopped taking it.

Lately, I have been having headaches and also waking up in the middle of the night with my head pounding. To make a long story short, I switchd to my husband's doctor, who has an excellent bedside manner and is an excellent dr. I think I waited so long because I was embarrassed about my weight. The headaches have been so bad that I couldn't stand it anymore and would have went if I weighed 800 pounds.

I called yesterday and they fit me in today as a new patient-- pretty good huh? He prescribed a new medicine for my blood pressure-- which was high-- 160/90.

They also weighed me. I was REALLY hoping to be under 300 but I weighed in at 307, which brings my total weight loss to 133 pounds. I have to go back at the end of December to see how my blood pressure is doing and I can weigh again at that time and give you a report. So here's a chance to get weighed periodically without having a scale in my house. (My former doc did not have a scale that would weigh me).

So a new Hot 100 Goal is to lose at least 10 pounds by Dec 29-- which is 5 weeks away. My personal fantasy goal is to weigh about 200 pounds by July 2010, but DH thinks that is an unrealistic weight for me and that 225 is more realistic. I don't know, we'll see.

Either way, if I keep going as I have been, by December 29, if I can get under 300 pounds, I will have LESS than 100 pounds to lose, FINALLY, and I'll be coming down the home stretch.

Now, onto the weird experience in the waiting room. There were two men sitting together, one an older man and the other in his early 30's. The one in his early 30's, the way he was speaking LOUDLY and the things he was saying, at first made me wonder if he were borderline retarded.

Then I realized that he was actually speaking quite intelligently about a variety of subjects and that there was nothing wrong with his intelligence, but something odd about the way he spoke and presented himself and interacted with the world.

Anyway, they had asked for my insurance card when I came in (to make a copy of it) so eventually, the receptionist called me back up to return it to me, on the way back to my seat, the younger, odd guy rises and walks up to me and says, "Miss, you have a magnificant body. I have never seen a woman as tall and strong as you."

He said this LOUDLY-- So that EVERYONE in the waiting room started looking. Then, when I sat down, he sat down next to me! Now he starts squeezing my thigh muscles and my arms and asking questions about how strong I am, how much I can lift, how tall I am, what size are my feet, etc.

Clearly, this man has some sort of mental or psychological condition- and this made me feel even more awkward and unsure of what to do. If he were a "normal" man, I would have reacted right away and in an angry way. I was sitting there hoping his male companion would distract him or something.

I could tell that this guy was honestly unaware of how inappropriate his comments and questions were, not to mention the touching. FINALLY, one of the medical assistants came and took the man into an exam room, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was about to ask if I could go in back to use the bathroom, where I planned to tell one of the medical asistants what was going on and ask her to move me to the back or something. It turned out that I didn't have to!

I was already feeling a ton of anxiety over seeing a new doc, having to be weighed, worrying about my blood pressure and the headaches........ this odd guy's probing and strange behavior sent my anxiety over the top. It took me hours to calm down. LOL

So that was my day............ I am off to get my Prescription filled. I am glad I finally took action and changed my doctor. I'll let you know how I feel on the new meds.

Be good to you today!

Week in Review Fitness Totals

2009-11-21T16:20:00.000-08:00

My goal for the past few months has been to log at least 5 hours of exercise per week. This week, I wanted to exceed that by as much as possible. Wooo baby-- wait till you see these numbers!

Drum roll please................

This week I WALKED a total of 5 hrs and 55 minutes! Cardio, consisting mainly of the Biggest Loser Boot camp and other DVDs totals up to 2 hrs and 30 minutes for the week. Weight lifting comes out at 3 hrs and 10 minutes.

This adds up to a grand total of 11 hrs and 40 minutes of exercise for the week! Yeah baby! I am in awe of myself! A few short months ago a walk around the block was aerobic for me and about all I could manage.

Part of the weight lifting numbers are 10-minute ab sessions that I want to be more regular about including in my routine. I am aiming to do three, 10-minute sessions a week (at the minimum), as this is my biggest problem area.

Also, I have been walking just under 10 miles a week and wanted to increase that. Well, this week, I walked over 19 miles! Yipppeee! A lot of the walks are on hilly terrain and the constant "uphillness" of it makes for a burn in the back of my thighs that you wouldn't believe. I comfort myself and keep myself going with visions of myself in mini skirts and little black cocktail dresses. LOL

The exercise pace that I kept this week was difficult, but not impossible. I had to be careful about managing my time and spent less time on the computer and reading-- two things I do a lot. My muscles are sore, but in a good way. I am ready for week two of really pushing myself. Bring it on!

I had a fantabulous day yesterday! I had to go to our local Post Office and I haven't been in there for MONTHS. The lady who waited on me said, "I can't believe how much weight you've lost." She kept saying it over and over again, then started asking questions about what I eat and how I exercise.

This was a great experience. For someone who rarely sees you, the weight loss can seem dramatic and their reaction can really give you a boost.

DH and I then went on a hike at West Rock park in New Haven. For those who don't know, New Haven is home to Yale University (DH works there) and we live only about 2 miles from the Yale Bowl. We weren't thinking when we left yesterday that it was the annual football game between Harvard and Yale-- which takes place at the Yale Bowl and which creates a level of traffic that you would not believe. And so we left for West Rock Park and found ourselves in the mother of all traffic nightmares, but we persevered.

We have two dogs but one is quite elderly and last time we took him on a hike he was literally splayed out on the ground by the end and couldn't walk. It was SO HARD to do, but we had to leave Beau at home. He just couldn't have done this hike-- not in distance or difficulty.

So we just had Zeke with us and he was lovin' it! He zoomed all around the woods and kept up a steady pace through the whole thing. Zeke is so FIT and loves using his body. Dogs completely and joyfully inhabit their own bodies-- we can learn a lot from them about that.

Jeff carried a back pack with our lunch, so once we made it to the top, we sat on a cliff, enjoying the view and eating tuna sandwiches, clementines and water. It was a great day. We saw some hawks gliding around and they were so magnificent!

This week, tomorrow actually, is Zeke's anniversary. I got him from the dog pound on the Monday of Thanksgiving week five years ago. So tomorrow is a special day for him. I think tomorrow, I'll tell the story of how we got Zeke-- there's an odd, spiritual element to it that's kinda cool.

Hope you were able to enjoy your weekend! Have a good day, and be good to you!

Monthly Progress Report with Pics

2009-11-20T08:40:00.001-08:00

This is last month's progress pic, taken around the 3rd week of October

Now here we are on November 20th. I am wearing the exact same clothes! Note that the pants now pull up enough to cover my belly. In a way, this makes me look like I GAINED weight somehow, but I actually lost once again, as you'll see in a minute when I list my inches lost for the month.

The purpose of this pic is to demonstrate that I can FINALLY, once again, not only touch my toes, but place the palms of my hands flat on the floor. My knees are not bent, this is honestly how flexible I am now. When I started, I could barely reach past my knees.

I took this a few days ago, sitting behind the wheel of Jeff's beat up work van. Back in July, my gut was so huge that it would be pressed up against the wheel. I could barely get in and out of the van or drive it.

Okay, now on to inches lost: This month, I lost one inch from my neck, one inch from my chest, one half inch from my waist, one inch from my hips, 1/2 inch from each upper arm, 1/2 inch off each thigh, and 1/2 inch off each calf for a total of 6 and a half inches lost this month.

This brings my total inches lost since July to 32 and 1/2. Not bad, especially when we know that with all of the weight lifting I am doing, there's no way I haven't gained muscle to boot.

I am guesstimating my total weight loss since March to now be about 130-140 pounds. I am sometimes curious about what I weigh, but as the saying goes, "If it's not broken, don't try to fix it." I've been consistently losing at least 6 inches a month and my clothes are getting loser and loser. For now, that's all I need to know.

In the gym department, around the time of last month's report, I was pushing 70 pounds on the chest press, having recently upped it from 50 pounds. I now do 100 pounds on the chest press.
Yeah baby! I increased the weight for cable flies from 50 last month to 70 pounds this month.
I can barely do that 70 pounds, but I really push myself.

I now do squats with a 25 pound weight in each hand and I KNOW I can squat with more, but that is the heaviest weight that I have, so I have "outgrown" the strength training equipment that I have. I cannot make real progress with my squats, dead lifts or lunges until I get heavier weights................. Gotta find the money somehow, Chickzilla needs her Iron!

I've REALLY increased my exercise the past week or two and I am going to try to maintain this pace, as next month will be my final report for 2009 and I want to make it a good one.

I was hoping for more inches lost this month but with having the flu and other stuff going on, for half of the month I either didn't exercise or wasn't able to do it with the sort of intensity I need to see results. I plan to make up for it next month.

Right now, most days I am exercising several hours a day. I won't be able to keep up this pace and intensity forever--eventually, it will wear on me. But in the short term, it is just something I want to do--to really ask a lot of myself for these last few weeks of the year and see what I can accomplish. I'm hoping my efforts will result in bigger losses when I take my measurements next month. This effort is my Christmas present to myself.

DH and I are going on a hike today that is going to be difficult for me--but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I hope that you all have a great day!

A New Challenge, plus a Hot 100 Update

2009-11-20T05:14:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day that you can sign up for the Christmas challenge over at the 266 blog. I won't be redundant by laying out the challenge here, as you can be-bop over to her site and read for yourself if you're interested. Suffice it to say, it is simple enough that it won't add additional stress to an already busy time of year-- it is just something to keep you focused during a season where many of us temporarily get off track.

To read about the challenge, check out this page over at 266 and let her know if you're interested in participating.

A lot of you found out too late about Steve's Hot 100 Challenge over at Log My Loss and therefore aren't participating in that. So I thought I'd let you know about the Christmas Challenge!

Tomorrow is the next Hot 100 Challenge Update, but I am posting mine today, a day early and adding on a new challenge for myself!

Anyway, here's how I'm doing with my challenges:

Exercise a minimum of five hours a week: My fitness week runs from Sunday through Saturday and I KNOW that when I total things up tomorrow that I will have far surpassed this goal. I have been a complete and total lunatic with the exercise. Now that the end of the year is in sight and we are coming down the home stretch, I have more wholly committed myself to the spirit and intent of this challenge.

I've been exercising like a woman on fire. I increased my cardio, turned up the heat of my intensity while exercising, upped the weights at the gym, and have been walking more. Logging 2 1/2 to 3 or more hours of exercise a day has been the norm lately and I could almost cry. A short time ago, I simply wouldn't have the stamina for what I am doing now.

Eat Foods rich in Omega 3's at least 3 times a week: As usual, I nailed this one. Thank goodness I love salmon so much!

Complete all three months of the ChaLEAN Extreme Program: Still at it! I am in the second phase, what they call the PUSH PHASE and I am really enjoying it. In this phase, I lift heavier weights for fewer reps. You'd expect a woman who is 6'3" to be strong, but I think that I actually surpass what you'd expect at this point.

There's still enough fat covering my body that you won't be able to see my muscles for awhile yet when I post my pics. But I can feel them and I am in awe of how they are developing. I think the size of my upper arms is going to be surprising in the end.

Consume at least 5 fruits and veggies a day: I did this, but just barely. I'm in this push to lose as many inches as I can by the end of the year, so I cut my carbs again somewhat. So I am not eating as much fruit.

Eat 5-6 small meals a day: I haven't been doing this. I got off track with it when I had the flu and seem to be having trouble going back to it. I am not as hungry as I was before and that is not helping.

I AM ADDING A NEW GOAL

If you read my blog regularly, you know that my abs are the bane of my existence and the worst problem area that I have. That being the case, you'd think that I'd focus a lot of exercise in that area, but I haven't to date.

Here and there, I've been grudgingly doing the 10-minute ab burner workout that comes with the ChaLEAN program---but not with any consistency or enthusiasm.

My new goal is that for the remainder of the Hot 100 Challenge, I'll do ab work a minimum of 10 minutes, three times a week. Then, after the first of the year, I'll reevaluate to see what I want to do from there.

On other fronts, in preparation for my monthly progress report, I took my measurements last night. DH had to attend a retirement party at work last night and was too tired to take my photos when he got home. He told me he would do them for me tonight or Saturday morning -- so look for my update over the weekend!

Have a good day!

Going to the dogs

2009-11-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

Greetings friends, I was not home all day yesterday. I went on an adventure with my friend and fellow dog lover, Mandy! She runs a pet sitting & dog walking business, and is also involved with a wonderful organization called Presents 4 Pets, a nationwide program designed to collect much-needed pet care items for donation to local animal shelters and rescue groups.

Recently, Mandy organized a fundraising and supply drive event for Presents 4 Pets that was a "HOWL"oween event for dogs and their humans. There was even a Halloween costume contest for the dogs! This event raised a considerable amount of pet supplies and yesterday I went with Mandy to help deliver some of the donated items to one of our local animal shelters.

This shelter has had a plea on the radio every day that they are low on food for the animals. So Mandy decided to start here, where the need is greatest.

I provided the muscle to load up the vehicle. It pays to have an amazon friend!

Mandy's car

Here's Mandy sorting through some leashes and collars.

Mandy speaking with shelter volunteers. This shelter received a considerable amount of pet foods, treats, toys, collars, leashes, dog beds, cat litter and the like through Mandy's efforts.

After this we went out to lunch at a Japanese Restaurant where I had scallops and brown rice! Yummy! A nice break from tuna or scrambled egg whites-- which I have for lunch quite a bit. It was a great girls day out for both of us---which was LONG overdue!

In order to fit in my ChaLEAN Extreme workout, I had to get up early and get it done before Mandy picked me up. It felt strange to be working out so early and part of me resisted it at first. As it is with most things, once I got started I was fine. It felt good to not have the thought haunting me all day that I hadn't done my work out.

When DH got home from work, there was just enough time to take the dogs for a quick walk in the woods before complete dark set in. This was an unexpected treat that Beau and Zeke really appreciated, as did I. What a great day!

On the exercise front, most of you know that I have a commitment to exercise at least 5 hours a week. Well, my fitness week runs from Sunday to Saturday, and looking over my Body Minder journal last night I can see that I ALREADY well surpassed five hours for the week by quite a bit. I am on fire! I have been a fitness lunatic!

For instance, on Tuesday I walked to the gym, did a 30-minute chest and back work out with the maximum weight and reps that I could handle, and then later in the day I did the Jillian Michaels Boost Your Metabolism work out which is 45-minutes of sheer hell.

That night, I was all ready to watch the Biggest Loser and then found out it was delayed by half an hour. Instead of killing that time on the computer (what I would typically do) I plugged in another Jillian Michaels DVD (No more Trouble Zones) and did that for 30-minutes.

And I've pretty much been working at that pace all week---one or two walks a day, cardio DVD just about everyday, heavier and heavier weights when I work out at least every other day. So I know when I total up my fitness hours at the end of the week the number is going to be outrageous! I love it.

Look for my monthly progress report with pics anytime between tomorrow and the end of the weekend. It's just a matter of catching DH at a time when he can do it.

Oh, and one last thing, if you want to see some cute pics of the doggie halloween costume contest from my friend's event, just go to this link and click on the link for the photo gallery. One lady dressed up her two dogs as a cowboy and a horse--the horse costume is awesome--she made it herself.

Have a great day and be good to you!

A New Award -- timed perfectly!

2009-11-17T04:47:00.000-08:00

Greta over at BigBottomBlogger was kind enough to give me an award that I will pass on to five others in a moment. This couldn't have come at a better time, as I had a difficult day yesterday, not physically, but emotionally and mentally. So this was a nice little treat that made my day.

I have rededicated myself to making the most of my weight loss efforts for the remainder of this year and have been seriously working my ass off. I increased my exercise this past week not only in time spent doing it, but I upped the intensity BIG TIME-- and I intend to continue this way for as long as I can stand it! LOL

On my walks, I have picked up the pace; at the gym I've increased the weight on a lot of the machines; during the ChaLEAN workouts, I really focus on slow, deliberate movement and perfect form; AND I added in the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD at least a couple of times a week.

Food wise, I cut back once again on the grainy carbs and dairy as I tend to lose more that way. Physically, I feel great! I feel sore in a good way. Tired at the end of the day, as I am working hard.

And yet, yesterday, as I sat having my coffee, I looked down at the massive gut that I still have sitting in my lap, and felt these waves of discouragement come bubbling up from the depths. Don't get me wrong, my gut is probably half the size it used to be, but it is still proportionately BIG and an obvious problem area.

So I was sitting there drinking my coffee, looked down, saw the gut, and just felt discouraged. It wasn't as bad as it has been in the past. It didn't take over my being. It didn't make me want to give up. But it was a persistent feeling and stayed with me throughout the day--like something that aches in a dull way, but not enough to make you go to the doctor, but enough to make you unfocused and uncomfortable.

When I was having my coffee, I thought, "How the fuck can I have worked so hard since March-- nine months!!!--- and still have this friggen thing on my lap everytime I sit down? Jeez, will this ever freakin' end?"

I didn't let it physically stop me from doing what I needed to do, I took my walk, did the ChaLEAN session, and later did the boot camp workout for good measure! I exercised for 2 1/2 hours yesterday -- hard!

Everytime I walked in the bathroom, I could not resist looking at my profile as I passed the mirror, and every time my subconscious puked out a negative observation, I would say, "Shut the fuck up!" I thought the day would never end.

I cooked a great meal with DH of orange glazed salmon, mashed butternut squash with cinnamon, and broccoli sauteed with onions and garlic. After dinner, my internal weather seemed to be clearing and I was relieved. I checked my email and found a comment notification and found out about this award -- so it REALLY was like a reward instead of just an award. A reward for getting though a tough day and still doing the right things.

And so it is with great joy that I explain the SUPERIOR SCRIBBLER award and pass it on to five others. Here are the rules:

Each recipient must pass the award on to five other deserving bloggers.

Each Superior Scribbler must link back to the author and the name of the blog from whom they received the award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display the award on his or her blog, and link to this post, which explains the award.

Each blogger who wins the Superior Scribbler award must visit the page noted above and add his or her name to the Mr Linky List. That way, the originator of the award will be able to keep track of everyone who receives it.

And finally, each superior scribbler must post these rules on his or her blog.

And the recipients are:

Friend of the Bear

Sandra over at My Travels to becoming a better me

Helen over at Doing a 180

Leslie at Something Brilliant is Brewing

and Kat over at FitMindbodySpirit

Well, DH and I decided to try something new-- we got up at the ass crack of dawn today-- 5am, to do our gym routine, as he has an appointment this evening so we won't be able to squeeze it in before the Biggest Loser as we usually do.

It was weird to be doing my walking in the dark-- but the gym was nice and empty when I got there. DH was one of the few people using the Nautilus machines. I blasted through a chest and back workout and really maxed out the pounds to the maximum that I can lift.

I didn't like getting up so early but at least right now it is only 8am, yet I know that if I do nothing else all day, I would have at least gotten in a 30-minute walk and a 30-minute chest and back workout. But I probably will do the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD later today--I'm feeling driven so I'll just go with that for as long as it lasts. LOL

Be good to you today!

Week in Review Fitness Totals

2009-11-15T12:29:00.000-08:00

I knew in the middle of the week that I would probably exceed my goals by a good amount this week, and it was a great feeling. It's wonderful to have my mojo back!

Walking is in the top slot for exercise this week, with cardio in second place. This week, my totals are as follows:

Walking: 3 hrs
Cardio: 2 hrs
Weights: 1 hr 50 min

So I exceeded my goals for this week!

DH does NOT work out at home as I do, so he needs more time in the gym than me. So I worked out a system where I walk to the gym, but he drives. I make sure that I walk for at least an hour. When I get there, he is usually done with the weights and doing 20 minutes on the rowing machine, which he follows by swimming a few laps.

The way I time it, I have anywhere from 45-minutes to an hour to work out once I get there. I concentrate on machines and weights where I can go a lot heavier than I do at home. This system has been working out great, but when it starts to get snowy and icey I may have to devise a new plan.

I went to the gym today and took TWO walks, so I already have a good jump on meeting my goals for this coming week! I walked to the gym, worked out, then later we took the dogs for a walk in the woods.

Be good to you!

Hot 100 - Getting Caught Up

2009-11-13T18:15:00.000-08:00

Steve over at Log My Loss is helping people stay focused and motivated during the remaining days of 2009 with the Hot 100 Challenge. I LOVE his blog-- check him out for Motivation For Monday and Wednesday's word of the day. Great stuff people!

Ya know I had the flu for over a week and then had other issues immediately following, so I was absent in blogging land for two weeks. Pretty sure the Hot 100 challenge requires you to not miss any updates in order to be in the running for the prize at the end.

So, I was initially thinking that I should discontinue my participation. BUT, isn't breaking promises to ourselves how we got ourselves into this obese state to begin with? It doesn't matter if I can't win the jar of hot peppers, that's not why I signed on for it.

I didn't just tell Steve that I would do this, I told ME that I would do this. So, I shall. And if I am hot pepperless at the end, that's fine because I know that my gut will be smaller and I will have the joy of knowing that I fulfilled a promise to myself to go to the end with Steve's challenge.

Anyway, here are the updates on my challenges:

Exercise a minimum of Five Hours a week: Well, I sucked ass on this for about two weeks but came back this week with a vengeance! I'll be posting my fitness totals for the week tomorrow, and if I can throw in another walk sometime today I will pass the ten mile point for the week for what I believe will be the first time!

Eat foods rich in Omega 3's at least 3 times a week: Failed at this while I was sick but did ok on it last week and this past week.

Complete all three months of the ChaLEAN Extreme Program: This is a work in progress. I had just started the second phase, what they call the PUSH phase, when I got the flu, so I opted to start the push phase over last week. In this phase, you lift heavier for fewer reps. I can't convey how much I LOVE this and how impressed I am with my own strength. I have to buy more weights, I don't have enough here to take me to failure on some of the moves. I'll start the final phase in December and be done with it right around the time the Hot 100 challenge is over

Consume at least 5 fruits and Veggies a day: Again, failed while I was sick but I am back into it. I made a HUGE spinach salad with dinner last night. (By the way, try raw spinach with dried cranberries and a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. Goat cheese is marvelous in this too, just watch the portion.)

Eat 5-6 small meals a day: I have to admit that I have become terrible at this. In the beginning I was ALWAYS hungry and looked forward to my 6 meals a day. Because I am not quite as large and have gotten used to eating better, I just don't feel hungry between meals like I used to. So, most days it's been 3 regular meals and one snack.

I've been told that if I ever get more serious about building muscle, It'll be better to eat smaller amounts more often. So I will keep at this, as I hope to one day pass the goal or losing weight and move on to a new focus of improving my strength and the shape of my muscles.

Yesterday, someone named Sandi posted in my blog and asked what fitness DVDs I used in the beginning. Sandi, there is no link to your blog in your profile so I have no way to get back to you, but I'll post it here in case you return.

It may sound lame to some, but Richard Simmons has fitness DVDs that are great for those with a lot of weight to lose and/or who haven't exercised in awhile. He also doesn't use skinny and perfect models in his videos. They are real people, some of them still fat. This is great for your self-esteem as, if they can do it, so can you. His stuff generally isn't high impact so you won't blow out your knees and back your first week out.

After that, I graduated myself to Denise Austin workouts. It is a bit more challenging than Richard Simmons, yet easy to modify the things you can't do or keep up with. My favorite Denise Austin one is"Burn Fat Fast: Cardio Dance and Sculpt."

If you do the whole thing, it is about 50 minutes. The cardio segment is 20 minutes and I did that every other day for quite awhile. When you can't keep up, just march in place to keep your heart rate up. There is no magic in the dance moves they are doing. With fat burning, the body cares that your heart rate is up, it doesn't care what you do to get there.

Having the DVDs on, even when I cannot do exactly what they do, makes me feel like I am not exercising alone and helps me keep up the tempo. Hope this info helps, Sandi, if you come back here.

Anyway, gotta get on with my day. I will post my fitness totals for the week tomorrow. Yeah baby! Be good to you today!

Sweaty Amazon

2009-11-13T07:06:00.000-08:00

Someone sent me this as a joke asking me to make next week's progress photos nude. Hey, not quite there yet! LOL! And please don't shoot the cat.

ANYWAY, here it is not even 10:30 in the morning and I already did a bunch of stuff around the house, AND a 45-minute workout with the Biggest Loser Bootcamp DVD. This workout alternates cardio and weight training for maximum burn. It starts with a 20-minute workout that you do for two weeks, then it gets longer and longer as you progress until you are working out for about an hour.

Instead of using the cardio DVDs that came with the ChaLEAN program, I am going to start using this on the alternate days, as it's a bit more challenging. I will still use the ChaLEAN weight Training and ab burner workouts though. I love that program and want to finish it.

Anyway, when I first started exercising back in April, I bought a bunch of exercise DVDs as I was too embarrassed to join a gym or even to walk around my neighborhood. When I got this BL Boot camp one, I tried it twice at the beginner level and it was so far from my abilities that is was actually depressing and discouraging.

I put it away and started using a Denise Austin one that is 20-minutes and a lot easier. This week, in honor of my renewed commitment to exercise more, put the Biggest Loser Boot camp DVD in to see how I'd do. What a difference a few months can make.

Not long ago, marching in place meant lifting my foot about an inch off the floor. Literally, between the actual weight of my legs, the lack of strength and the lack of aerobic capacity, that was all I could manage- and the effort of even that would leave me winded and sore.

Now I can lift my legs high, I can do a full squat while holding weights and I am talking that I can get into the lowest position possible and come back up again while holding weights. A few months ago, a squat meant bending my knees just a bit and holding 5 pound weights. Right now I hold a 20 pound dumbbell in each hand while I squat. The thing is, I feel like I could squat with more, but those are the heaviest weights that I have--- so I have to buy more. (I keep drooling over those select weights by bow flex and may try saving up for them)

So now I can do this entire Boot camp workout and the only moves I modify are the push up type exercises. I have to be on my knees still or I cannot complete the required amount of reps. Still, I tried the second stage of the Boot Camp today to see if I can do it-- and I can! I did all 45-minutes of level two--so I am feeling sore and sweaty and proud and totally freakin' awesome!

Adding this to the ChaLEAN and the walks should blast off some inches! Time will tell!

To clarify yesterday's post---- I am cutting back on my online time everywhere EXCEPT here. I love my blog and this blogging community. It's all the OTHER things I was doing online that I will either discontinue or scale back on quite a bit.

I can't promise to post daily, especially between now and Christmas, as it is my busy season with the Lakota. But I will certainly try to post every other day at least, and I will continue to read all of your blogs and comment as much as time allows.

I'm working on a post now that will be a virtual tour of my garden. I hope to have this posted soon. It involves uploading lots of pics so I work on it whenever I have a minute.

Also, some of you said the settings here made it hard for you to comment. I changed my comment settings so that anyone can comment. Let me know if that helps, and if it doesn't I will try to figure out how to adjust it.

Have a great day-- and be good to you!

Hard Work -- Tough to Face it!! LOL

2009-11-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

Before I launch into the hard work topic, let me say that I've been examining what I've been doing along the way and looking at things I need to change in order to make additional progress possible.

One thing I am changing is the level of commitments I make that involve typing and being on the computer. When I first started, I figured I needed all sorts of motivation and support, and every tool that I could find to make me accountable. Being over 400 pounds can make you feel that way. LOL

So I started logging my food online, logging my exercise on fitmile, joined all sorts of body building and weight loss message boards and groups. In addition, I have my blog here and committed to posting weekly fitness updates and monthly progress reports and pics.

I started noticing a few things - like how many hours a day I was spending typing and keeping these various online commitments. If you are spending more time online posting about exercise than you are actually exercising-- then you may need to take a second look at how you spend your time. LOL

I have made some decisions...... I love keeping my blog and reading the blogs of weight loss friends I have met here, so giving that up is out of the question. But I will no longer post my food online, nor be as regular with posting on the weight lifting boards.

I keep a body minder journal which I LOVE. A lot of times, when I eat, I am not near a computer, so I write everything down in there. It also has space to record your cardio, gym works outs, mileage for running or walking, etc.

There's no point in my writing everything down and then going online and typing it again. Eating right has gotten to a point where that is not my biggest challenge. I am not saying it is easy, but it certainly isn't the issue it once was.

I will continue to use Fitmile to record my daily exercise. I have the widget for it on here so it enables my friends to see what I did for my last workout. But that's it.

There are two things that brought about this decision to scale back on the computer time. One is, when I was sick with that flu and COULDN'T get out of bed to post on the gazillion things I normally posted on-- I realized how NUMEROUS these daily postings were, how time-consuming. When I was sick and COULDN'T do it, I realized that far from helping my journey, that these things had become too much of a pressure to do things that actually deter me from real activities that actually would further my goals, such as an extra walk or some yard work or housework that would not only get me moving but improve my home life as well.

Too many online support systems can actually have the opposite effect and dilute your focus on yourself. It can be a way of avoiding actual work. And so, it's my blog and the DailyMile for my regular routine. On the body builder sites I will only post monthly updates from now on.

Now onto my original topic that I wanted to get into today -- facing the hard work. I can understand why people with vast amounts of weight to lose often give up before they reach their goals.

At 400-plus pounds, to walk literally only 1/2 a block really knocked me on my ass. I can do 3 miles now without a prob, but of course this takes longer than walking half a block. When you're really heavy, you can put half-ass effort into exercise and so long as the calories are in check, you'll lose weight for sure.

But as time passes and an activity becomes easier, we cannot stay in that comfort zone and expect to continue having the same progress. When it's time to increase the weights we're lifting, or increase the miles we're walking or the speed at which we run-- there's a tendency, especially among those of us coming from a really high weight, to not want to do it.

I'm completely back from the flu and realizing that I have not been working at potential. Both time and intensity-wise, I need to do more! That's one thing that led to the time management stuff I posted about above. I need to spend more time exercising and less time writing about exercising.

I realized months ago that my metabolism isn't what it used to be at age 20 or 30. I WON'T get to goal exercising like I did back then. I have to work harder and eat better than I did back then to weigh what I did back then. Yeah, that really sucks ass!

Anyway, in the beginning, I was working out with the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD and some Jillian Michaels DVDs, and when I upped the mileage I was walking and started the ChaLEAN program, I gave myself permission to stop doing the other workouts.

So I started using them again this week, while I continue the walking, the ChaLEAN Extreme, PLUS I still go to the gym two or three times a week. Every time I reach a point where I need to make a change and up the intensity, I seem to go through a sulky period of resentment over how hard I must work and I have a lot of inner resistance to leaving the comfort zone.

If I can push myself through that, then I am able to apply myself and really focus-- that's where I am now and it was so hard to get myself here. The more I lose, the heavier I lift, the farther I walk- the harder it is to push myself to the next level when I start to plateau.

In no time at all we'll be ending 2009 and starting a new year. I really want to work my ass off and end 2009 with as much progress as I can manage to pull off. So this is where I am at. I WILL be posting my weekly fitness numbers at the end of the week and next week it'll be time for the monthly progress report and pics.

Thanks for being here my friends. Reading your blogs helps me and I appreciate all of you putting yourselves out there. Be good to you today!

Motivation, rekindling the fire!

2009-11-10T08:08:00.000-08:00

This is a post about rekindling the fire and returning to a place of power and commitment!

I was rooting around in my photo files for something interesting or entertaining to post when I ran across this photo. YIKES! The quite fat woman in the green top is ME back in April of this year. This was taken at a pow wow and the gal in white dancing behind me is my BFF Jeanne.

Holy freakin' crap -- it's hard to believe that I was actually THAT fat not too long ago. If you ever need a reference as to what 70 inch hips look like -- here ya go! See how red my face is? That's not sunburn, it's from the exertion of "walking" around the dance circle-- about all I could muster as a native dance at that time.

I almost didn't post this. I am not so far removed from this as I would like to be, so looking at it is hard. We all know how easily I could be this again if I allowed it. It scares me. In the end, that is WHY I decided to post this.

Besides, as I was MIA for two weeks, I owe you something juicy! LOL

Seriously, I have been very thoughtful these past few days and have been wanting to sit down and make a good post about everything I've been thinking. Then I had this really amazing experience yesterday-- and I'll get to that in a minute.

Before I got sick, I reached a point where (in terms of the fitness) I was not acting out of passion but just going through the motions. I wasn't "cheating," as I was doing the exercise and walking and eating as I should-- but there was no enthusiasm.

I do not know how realistic it is for me to not only succeed, but to do it with joy and passion, to feel enthusiasm about my commitment. I was starting to approach exercise like doing the laundry or the dishes --- something I had to do.

Then I got sick and that brought me even farther away from the "me" that I was a few months ago who was on fire with joy, determination and enthusiasm for losing weight and getting fit. I was finally recovered from the flu when we got the bad news that a friend has cancer and has no more than 6 months to live.

And so these past few days I have been thinking a lot and trying to steer myself back into a good place (inwardly), to be able to keep moving forward on my fitness journey from a place of power and enthusiasm. Two days ago, I sat quietly, almost meditatively, and thought about how I felt when I made my trip out to the Sun dance this past July.

I recalled how difficult it was to walk around the airport and to wait in line at 400 pounds. I relived the humiliation of having to purchase two seats and to have to ask the flight attendant for a seat belt extender. I revisited all the memories of that trip that were difficult and caused by my weight.

I didn't do this to depress myself, but to remind myself of how committed I was to change when I came back from that trip. This week, I put myself back on the sort of carb/calorie/fat controlled way I was eating back in the beginning; and really threw myself into the exercise. I can feel my focus returning more each day, thank heavens.

Then yesterday, I took a walk around my neighborhood and thought about the rez again, but this time, the more positive and empowering aspects of it. I will explain it more fully another time, but, at sun dance, the dancers are isolated from family and friends for four days. They sleep outside and they do not eat or drink.

From sun up to sun down, they dance and pray. They pray for everyone except themselves. This is not something one does for themselves, but for others. Their sacrifices are not "punishment" but offerings to the Great Spirit from the only thing we really have-our own body, heart and soul.

I was one of the supporters, there for my Lakota nephew, Bernie, and sat under the arbor around the dance circle with my friend Jeanne and the locals. As a supporter, you bear witness to the sacrifices of the dancers . The only thing you can give them is the gift of your presence.

One transforms in this atmosphere. There are not words to describe it. Every day I sat there praying for a way back to health and fitness, for myself. (The dancers don't pray for themselves, but the supporters do). Every day I cried and cried. For my own suffering, and for the suffering of the Lakota people, which is very evident while you are there. Everyday, I felt the spiritual power around me growing, as 30 dancers went without food and water, and danced their prayers all day in the intense July heat.

On the fourth day, something happened that let me know my prayers had been heard. Those who do not believe in spiritual things will think I am crazy, but I don't care. Each dancer has a prayer pipe or a medicine pipe (what some would call, in error, a "peace pipe"). Sometimes the dancers wish to honor particular people sitting under the arbors. They send one of the helpers to fetch you at the end of a dance cycle. The helper escorts you to an opening in the dance circle and you and the others who have been chosen, stand across from the dancer who has chosen you. After the drummers and singers do a particular song, the dancer hands you his pipe, which has been packed with prayers in the tobacco. You bring the pipe back to your area and share it with the people around you, releasing the prayers. Afterwards, there is another ceremony to return the pipe.

First of all, it is an honor to be picked for this, so I was in a state of shock that it was happening. When I was standing across from the dancers waiting to be handed the pipe, the energy I felt coming from and around the dancers was nothing short of staggering. There was a woman there from England who had come the year before and was healed of uterine cancer. There were many people and stories there like that, and standing there across from the man holding out his pipe to me, feeling what was in the air, I understood how anything could be possible.

Later, sharing the pipe with those around me, I understood that my prayers had been answered and that the strength and courage and faith of the dancers was available for me as long as I wanted it and acknowledged it and respected it. I KNEW that I had been sent spiritual aid and that NOW is the time to change. I could not reject that blessing and got into serious work on myself the minute I got home.

Right before I got sick two weeks ago, I was starting to forget how I felt at that sun dance. I MUST do this, not only for myself, but for them. I want to return there in July as a new person and be able to say "Look how your prayers helped me!" I want them to know that their sacrifices matter and make a difference.

In any case, I was out walking yesterday and thinking about fitting on the airplane in July so I PUSHED myself like you wouldn't believe. When I got home--- my phone rings and, OMG, it was the holy man who runs the Sun dance that I attend. He was calling to check up on me and give me the dates for this coming summer's dance.

Coincidence? I choose to believe that timing like that is rarely a coincidence. It really blew my mind to hear his voice when I was just out walking and thinking about the sun dance and how much it has meant to me.

Bottom line is that I am on fire again and it's great! I am working my ass off with enthusiasm! My goal is to return to Sun Dance in 2010 as a fit person and I intend to do so!

Anyway. I have a busy day that I must get back to but just felt compelled to share all of this hoping some of you will understand. Be good to you!

Milestones & a recipe from DH

2009-11-08T15:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, lately, I have sucked ass as a blogger. LOL

I don't even want to try and get you guys all caught up, suffice it to say a lot has been going on but I think things are settling.

Today was a gym day and I haven't really worked myself at capacity since before I got sick. So today, I walked to the gym and then put in a 90 minute (yes, 90-minute) work-out once I got there.

At the end, I was definitely out of gas but it felt great to be able to really push myself. On the subject of the gym, when I joined I bought a body minder journal and I log my food and exercise in there.

The journal is good for 13 weeks. Today marked the day of beginning a NEW body minder journal. So I completed 13-weeks of going to the gym and did so faithfully other than the week I was sick-- so I am very proud of this milestone.

You have a place to record your measurements and other stats at the beginning and end of each body minder book. In another week or so it will be time to post my monthly progress pics and measurements so I won't go into detail here -- suffice it to say for now that in 13-weeks I have lost over 2 feet of inches off my body! YIKES! That's a lot!

Also, I set two goals 13-weeks ago. One was to be able to lift weights for one hour at a time and the other to be able to walk for 3 miles at a time. I can do both so will have to set some new goals.

Today was a gorgeous day. Here it is November and I was able to walk to the gym in a tank top and spandex capris. It has to get cold eventually, this is New England, after all, so I spent every minute that I could outside today. DH and I raked leaves and puttered around in what remains of our garden.

Speaking of DH, when I was sick he had to cook for himself and normally, he is not that good at it. LOL!!!- But he made something that he was so proud of that when I got better, he made it for me too ---portabello mushroom pizzas. YUM

Mushrooms are one veggie that I cannot stand raw, so DH precooked mine a bit in a skillet before making my pizza. Anyway, at Trader Joe's we had bought an eggplant and garlic relish that is only 15 calories a serving and we used that for the sauce. But you can use ordinary tomato sauce or even a slice of fresh tomato if you prefer.

Anyway, dress up a portabello mushroom with some sauce and low-fat motz cheese and put under the broiler until bubbly. OMG--- so good. And vegetarians can eat it, as well as those who cannot have gluten.

A portobello is only about 30 calories. So if you don't go crazy with the cheese, you can keep these at about 100 calories each. We chowed down on two each with a salad for dinner the other night and I estimated my calories for that meal at about 300. I was quite full as portabellos are pretty big!

Regarding The Biggest Loser -- they had Tracey on the Jay Leno show last week and she seemed heavier on his show than she did in the footage they showed at the end of TBL--so I think she has creeped back up a bit.

Anyway, Gotta go. It's good to be back! (Again) and I should be resuming regular posts again!

It lives!

2009-11-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am back. Thank heavens! I started with the mother of all sore throats and cold symptoms, then that seemed to morph into something more flu-like--- as I was body achy, feverish, dizzy, weak, etc .

I literally have only had the flu maybe three times in my whole life. I get a few colds a year but basically, my immune system seems able to fight things off pretty well. That's a freakin' miracle given how I have mistreated my body over the years.

If something is going around where people vomit, I generally just get a bit sick to my stomach and get diarreah for a day. I rarely have ever vomited in my life either. Just something my body doesn't seem to want to do.

So for me to be down for the count like this is really something else. I hope this never happens to me again. I've been living on grapefruit juice, zinc and vitamin C drops and protein shakes so I KNOW I must have lost weight. LOL I don't know if I could say it was worth it though!

My exercise is all frigged up and I haven't recorded any food or exercise in my body-minder journal since this all started.

So I am back in the saddle as of right now. I will visit everyone's blogs and try to get caught up. I haven't even been on the computer--that's how bad it was. I admit to being totally addicted to my computer. For me to be off-line for a week is huge!

Anyway, I was only about a week into the second phase of ChaLEAN when this started so I think what I'm gonna do is just start that phase all over. The week before I got sick I was swamped with work and didn't record my exercise-- so, I think I will count this as week one of the second phase.

I feel so distant from my body and from the exercise. Today was the first day I was well enough to be aware of it and it scares me. I don't want to overdo but I really need to get back on my path.

One "plus" was that I felt too crappy to give a shit about eating halloween candy. I was not even tempted.

Because the obesity rate among children is on the rise, I felt very conflicted about giving out Halloween candy. I have always loved halloween and dressing up since I was a kid. LOVE IT!

For the past few weeks, DH and I have been discussing alternatives to candy. We got VERY few trick or treaters, maybe 30 kids, tops. I wasn't even up to getting dressed up. I sat on the porch with Jeff for awhile but I just wasn't well enough to really get into it the way I like to.

I have to think about this before next year. I don't feel good about giving out candy, and yet I love this dying holiday and feel sad to see how much it has declined since I was a kid.

Anyway, I am jumping all over the place and not making sense. Just so excited to be upright! I will post more tomorrow!

Sick!

2009-10-27T08:32:00.000-07:00

Woke up Friday morning feeling kinds sore throatish and head achy and it went downhill from there.

I am better today but not up to a full post.

I just wanted to post a quick check-in so that you didn't think that I had locked myself in the basement with a bag of oreos and a gallon of milk. LOL

Other than being sick, everything is ok. Will post more tonight or tomorrow.

xoxox

Stay strong my lovelies!