Colonoscopy disaster

Ok-- before I launch into explaining this disaster, let me say that I am a believer in biochemical individuality (or whatever you want to call it) because I KNOW there are many ways that my body is different from other people's. In some ways this is positive and helpful and in others ways it is not.

One "good" way that I am different is that my body MOST of the time resists any illness based on "germs" that get passed around. I have only had the flu twice in my whole life. I get maybe one cold a year, at most.

You can count on one hand how many times in my life I have vomited. When vomiting/diarrhea things are going around I may get an upset stomach for a day and some "loose stools" and that's about it. I always end up taking care of everyone else who is sick and I somehow don't catch it 90% of the time.

Now, when I went to my initial appointment with the gastroenterologist (to schedule a colonoscopy) I warned him about two things: One, drugs that knock other people out don't work on me and, two, constipation is my natural state and always has been. It has been a source of jokes between me and my husband for years.

When they gave me the solution I was supposed to drink to clean out my system before the procedure, I told him, (seriously) that it might not be enough to work on me. And I also told him that I doubted whatever he gave other people to knock them out would work on me. I guess he thought I was joking.

Ok, so Sunday I fasted all day and at 4:30 in the afternoon I mixed the Nulytely they gave me and started drinking it. I consumed the whole gallon within two hours. I got so full and bloated and I felt like puking...........yet the hours ticked by and I did not go to the bathroom.

To spare you the literally "crappy" details, suffice it to say that I did not "go" for the first time until after 9pm, almost FIVE HOURS after drinking the stuff. (It is supposed to start working within an hour). I was up half the night going but I could tell when we arrived at the hospital the next day at NOON that some of that stuff was still in my system. I was STILL visiting the restroom and what was coming out was not "clear" as it should have been.

Ok, fast forward to the procedure, I'm in the procedure room and they give a shot into the IV of whatever the hell they give you to put you to sleep. I continued to talk with a nurse about my diet and weight loss. I felt buzzed, like I had too much to drink, but I was still very awake.

The doc told the nurse to give me another shot. Then I fell asleep but woke up several times. At one point, I heard the doc tell the nurse that they could not give me any more of the drug they were using to try to make me sleep. I heard him tell her to give me a shot of benadryl to help keep me out for a few minutes and he was going to wrap things up.

Later, he told me that the prep was not good and that I have to do it again with a different prep that lasts for two days. He also said he wants me to have general anesthesia so that I stay asleep. He said that every time I woke up I tried to sit up and that is not good with what they are trying to do.

In spite of the "bad prep" he found two polyps and removed them. They have been sent for biopsy. One really WEIRD thing is that he told my husband while I was in the recovery room that he couldn't see certain areas and there seemed to be something like corn blocking his view. I DON'T EAT CORN often and haven't had any for months. Corn? I have to wonder what the f*ck was he seeing.

I don't have a medical background so have no idea what he could have seen that looked like corn. Yikes. Something about it is creepy to me.

So I called this morning to reschedule and I am waiting for the nurse to call me back with the date for my next procedure and instructions for the prep. They also said that our insurance company is not going to want to pay for the second procedure nor for the general anesthesia, so he is writing them a letter explaining why. Even so, at the end I may end up having to pay for all or part of this. YIKES!

Today, I feel sort of "detached," probably some residual affect of all of the drugs they had to give me to try and keep me down. But I got up early and kept my appointment for my mammography. That is done! They said they will mail me the results.

When I was leaving the building, I noticed another medical building next door that was an OB/GYN. Since I haven't had a pap smear in 15 years and my doc is bugging out about it, I thought I'd get that over with too. So I walked right over and made an appointment before I chickened out.

So I have an appointment there for the end of the month. My doc will be thrilled!

I'm having an intense and totally irrational craving for TACOS, of all things. Ortega makes whole grain taco shells that are about 55 calories each and have a lot of fiber. Although I don't do well with a lot of grains, I am going to indulge myself and make tacos for dinner tonight.

I stopped at the market on the way home from the mammography to get the ingredients then I came home and got everything ready for tonight. I cut up some lettuce, onion, tomato, avocado and black olives to have on the tacos, and I am going to use fat-free greek yogurt for the sour cream. I arranged everything all pretty-like on a platter. I also put a salad together. YUMMY! Everything is pre-prepared so it will be a breeze getting dinner on the table tonight.

Anyway, I am not really "with it" so I'm going to go lay down for awhile. Have a great day everyone! And I appreciate everyone who checked up on me. Online friends are real friends-- so many have proven it to me again and again! You guys are the best!

ADDED LATER: Forgot to say that when they took my "vital signs" at the hospital, my body temp was only 96.6, probably because of the thyroid issues.