Progress Pics

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Sitting here crying

You all know that your amazon runner is not a cry baby. And I tend toward anxiety rather than depression. But here I sit. Crying.

Connecticut is usually in the top 3 wealthiest states-- so things are expensive here. 'cept we aren't wealthy. My husband is a carpenter. We have two kids in college and a high mortgage.

We have had extra, unavoidable expenses come up this month, plus a $1,600 tuition payment for our youngest son's next semester at college was due yesterday. It was paid. But our mortgage for the month of December isn't.

To top it off, our fridge just up and died yesterday. Last time we had it serviced it cost almost $500-- we aren't going to call a repairman for the third time in 5 years on a friggen appliance that cost almost two grand and should work better. It was a gift from my mom when we bought the house and is an example of how big fancy things can bring headaches.

So here I sit, the gluten-free items for my mother-in-law that I bought ahead of time for X-mas thawed out and are GONE. These came from whole foods and cost me a fortune. The Christmas ham is gone. EVERYTHING has to be thrown out.

Our Christmas dinner is gone. The remaining $400 that we have in our checking account to exchange a few small gifts with our kids and each other is going to have to go for the cheapest fridge we can find.

The way it looks, not only can we not exchange gifts but I don't even know how we can replace the food we lost and I have my kids and my mother-in-law coming for dinner.

What I also feel bad about is that for our favorite Lakota family (a very spiritual family whom I love) we always call their local grocery store and use our bank card to pay for a $50 - $60 line of credit for them so the mom can make Christmas dinner.

I don't see how I can do it--yet is is something I do every year and they count on it. Thursday would be the last day that I could do that for them and I don't see money magicaly appearing between now and then.

My husband has money automatically deducted from his pay for our kid's college fund and for our retirement-- as yale has matching funds for that. You automatically DOUBLE what goes into your reitirement fund. We cannot fund these two things, pay for our health and life insurance and also put much money away for short term. What short-term money we had we just took out to cover the November mortgage.

I can't see a solution to this. It looks like on christmas day I may be serving stone soup next to my empty refrigerator. I can't remember the last time I felt so terrible and so unable to solve something.

My eating is fine-- I am not over eating due to stress and I did walk/run and go to the gym this morning.

I heard from an old friend whom I haven't seen in years and she is stopping by this afternoon for a visit. I need to pull myself together before she gets here. I can't be telling someone I haven't seen in years that life is shit right now.

I am usually optimistic when other people can't be. I am usually the one to find a solution or acccept what must be quietly. But I feel crushed by this and feel bad for my husband. He NEVER misses a day of work. Never. Yet it looks like the man isn't even going to have a Christmas dinner.

I was going to suggest going to the local food pantry to see if we could get help with Christmas dinner. But I was looking across the room at his face and I know that I cannot suggest such a thing. It would make him feel worse.

Wake me when chirstmas is over.


  1. You can do it. You have $400 and a home of your own. Yes, you'll have to cut back a lot, but it's not like you need to stand in line at a food pantry, or that you are worried about your utilities being shut off.

    This seems like a catastrophe, but it's a bump in the road.

    Go for a second hand fridge short term. Then get a good one when you have the money for it. You can often get a good used fridge for about $100 if you have a store nearby that refurbishes appliances, that's a good place to look.

    If you can't get a fridge on time, go and get a prepared dinner from the local market. You can get roasted chickens fairly cheaply.

    It may seem hopeless, and it's definitely going to be a scramble, but a little creativity goes a long way.


  2. Ugh, I am so sorry! I wish there was something I could do for you. Just remember that you have each other, and there is no shame AT ALL in asking for help when you need it. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

  3. Oh... I'm so sorry... :o( I wish there was something I could do... I have no money in my bank account until (hopefully) Christmas Eve, and all that is pretty much spoken for, but I'm sure I could paypal across $10 then towards your Lakota friends, even if that doesn't help you in any practical way... If you send a paypal invoice to my email address for that amount I'll pay it when there's money in my account (I'm pretty skint right now too and can't afford to go overdrawn...)

    On a practical level, do you have anything like in the US or your area? That could help with the fridge. Ironically, we gave a fridgefreezer (and a washing machine) to a women's refuge last Christmas as Craig was fitting out new kitchen and had replace our old appliances with integrated ones... I know your hubby doesn't want to accept charity, but it could help tide you over that expense for a month or two...

    Talk to your friend about it and see what she can come up with - two heads are often better than one and you can often find help from the most unlikely places and when you least expect it...

    Hoping things improve really quickly for you very sooon...

    Patsy xxx

  4. So sorry to read this Lori-Ann. :( I wish I could help you out in some way....

  5. Oh sweetie that is a whole lot at once. I am so sorry and I am saying a prayer right now that you will be guided to the best possible solution to all this mess. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

  6. I am so sorry for all the obsticles that have come in your path. I hate to hear of all this. I know how hard it is...I will be praying for your family. That something presents itself to you all to correct the current situation. Craigslist might be a good option on buying a use fridge to "get by" could probably find a cheap one on there.

    Blessings and prayer for you all.

  7. so sorry to hear about your misshaps. stay positive.

  8. Hey LoriAnn... How devestating it seems... I'm so sorry for all this coming on you at this time of year. As much as I almost cringe to say this, I know from desperate experience, that this too shall pass and you will hopefully see past the trouble and come out with some new found realization. I know what it feels like to lose everything..My husband and I lived in a mobile home one winter with no water, electric or heat for 7 whole days. It was not stormed so bad we couldnt get out...but we found a way where there literally was no way. I pray you find your way too this holiday season. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

  9. I am sorry to hear this Lori-Ann. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. The most important thing about Christmas is spreading love with your family. You are going to be together and that is the most important thing. I think the craigslist idea is a good idea to see if you can find an inexpensive used fridge. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. Ask everyone coming to bring a pot go get a chicken.
    They have teen tiny fridges for like 80 dollars that will hold eggs and butter.
    I would get and make sure my kids had a few gifts under the tree and then you just invite that family to your house for dinner.
    Everyone had tough times, people will understand but you have to stand and up and say..."I'm sorry, I can't do it this year.."
    they will understand...and other people will feel proud to be able to help people who have always helped them.

  11. Ohhh my, I wish I was there and able to do something.

    I really like the idea of the used fridge. I bought one of those when I first got married....we actually still have it as a second fridge. It wasn't pretty...and the freezer frosted up like you wouldn't believe...but it did the job!

    Meanwhile, sit back and look at this Christmas with new eyes. Appreciate what you do have....your health. Your kids. Friends. Look at the good things.

  12. Lori-Ann, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am to read all of this. Terribly, terribly sorry. I hurt for you right now. I hope that as the dust settles today you are able to see something you weren't able to see when you originally wrote this. I think the ideas about finding a used fridge are good ones. A friend of ours bought large used appliances very cheap and got quite a bit of service out of them.

    Lori-Ann, I am saying a prayer for you now. I hope the day got better.

  13. Katie, I'm so sorry that you're having these hurdles at this difficult time. Daniel always says "there is a solution to everything, except death and taxes." Fab Kate made a good suggestion in buying a used refrigerator, this way you can use some of the $400 for groceries. As for Christmas dinner, maybe a potluck? I get paid tomorrow and I too could send you $20 via paypall if you send me an invoice as well.

    Wish I could help more.

  14. Hi Lori-Ann. Sorry to hear about all this. (((Hugs))) to you.

    Can you manage without a fridge until the next paycheck comes in? Requires careful planning and regular grocery shopping, but then you could use the money you have to buy the food you need. Before the 1950s most people lived without a fridge. And it is winter. Things can be kept in the garage/ shed/ outbuilding/ cellar if necessary. And remember how in the old days they used to stand the milk in a sink of cold water to stop it going off?

    The Bear hasn't put his fridge on THIS YEAR! He refuses because he doesn't like paying for the electricity. This from a man who owns 8 computers ... male logic huh? Nothing I say can make him switch it on. He just food shops every day.

    Maybe he's just so cool he doesn't need to switch the fridge on ...

    I hope you're feeling better about things by the time you read this. From the comments already left you've got quite a few suggestions to work with.

    And trust your friend. You've had a domestic disaster - happens to everyone.

    Thinking of you,
    Bearfriend xx

  15. I totally agree with a pot luck dinner. I do it every year. As for your family in need, can you invite them over instead of giving them $ for food that way they can still have a great meal at your pot luck or deliver them the leftovers. My heart goes out to you because if you read my blog at all you KNOW I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE. Still am, but have learned how to manage because my situation is long term.

    - lisa

  16. You always need to remember that while things may seem absolutely horrible right now, they could be much much worse. It is only one Christmas in the long run. I just came from a funeral for my friend's father who was killed in a car accident this weekend. It was absolutely horrible, my friend just graduated college and his father will never get to see where he goes in life. It was heart crushing for the holidays.

    All I can say is the true gift is having your family together to appreciate and love.

  17. Best fridge I ever got was totally cheap from the scratch and dent store. Looked fine and cost a fraction of the cost. Sorry your holidays are going to so rough this year.


We are all so busy.... so I truly appreciate your taking the time to comment.