Progress Pics

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hot 100 -- Second Update!

It's time for my Hot 100 update. Steve over at Log My Loss is helping us stay motivated and accountable with this great challenge.

Here's my Hot 100 goals and how I did since my last report:

Exercise a minimum of 5 hours per week - I actually got off to bad start on this earlier last week-- I was in a pissy mood because of some personal stuff--which I posted about. Yep, I was the queen of funk (and I'm not talkin' music here) for a few days, then I was able to pull myself out of it. I managed to exceed my exercise goals and do over 6 hours of exercise!

Eat foods rich in omega-3s at least 3 times a week - I nailed this one too. I'm starting to add 2-3 walnut halves to my Irish oatmeal as these are also rich in omega 3's.

Complete all three months of the ChaLEAN Extreme fitness program: Well, this will take another 8 weeks, but so far, so good. This program guides you in using heavier weights with proper form. I completed the first phase of the program last week and began the second phase this week. Each phase is 30 days. I am enjoying the program and I am glad I spent the money on it.

Consume at least 5 fruits and veggies per day - We went to the farmer's market on Saturday and got some yummy, locally grown organic stuff. A friend also gave us some apples that she picked at the orchard herself. So it was a great week for organics!

Eat fish a minimum of five times a week - Same as last week. Between the salmon and the tuna I've been having either fish or egg whites everyday. No, I'm not bored. Go figure?

Eat 5-6 small meals per day - Again - I didn't do real well on this challenge this week. When I first started this journey I was ALWAYS hungry, so gobbling down the meals and snacks was a breeze. Now I often do not want my snacks and skip them. Supposedly, eating more often will keep my metabolism more active, so I want to work on this.

Lately I've noticed that I am satisfied with a lot less food. Between meals, I don't think about food as much as I used to and I never binge. We are talking never ! Some people allow themselves a "cheat day" and in the beginning, I thought I might allow myself one every other week or so -- but I don't feel the need and never do it.

It is weird, like some invisible switch somewhere has been flipped or some faulty wiring pulled out. Let me admit right here and now that I used to have Chinese food or pizza delivered for lunch 2 or 3 days a week and I would eat a considerable amount. I haven't consumed either in months and months. I never think about it. I never feel deprived.

I am not complaining. I just don't understand this. I always loved food and ate a lot. When I wasn't eating, I was thinking about eating. In the past, when I lost weight, I recall a sense of "suffering" a lot more than I am now. I would be keenly aware of all the foods that I could not eat and felt resentful that I could not eat them.

Food obsession might be replaced by scale obsession for as long as I remained on my "diet" but the point is, the obsessive thoughts and compulsive urges were still there --- and it was a daily battle to beat them into submission. The whole thing was always so exhausting-- no wonder I always failed and would go running back to my take-out menus.

But now.......... things are quieter inside, and I do not know any other way to describe it. I wish I could understand how I arrived here so that I could draw a map for others. It is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.

I am positive that one thing that has helped is a simple, clean and wholesome diet. I honestly believe that part (certainly not all, but part) of the reason really overweight people keep eating is because their bodies are starved for proper nutrition. We aren't meant to live on pizza and brownies. We need good protein and fats, carbs that are unprocessed, etc.

I believe that some of our hunger is our body saying "Yo asshole, ever hear of a leafy green?" Buy a fucking clue and give me some real food that I can make strong healthy new cells with." Our bodies create thousands of new cells every day. What are we going to give our bodies today to fuel this process? If we feed it shit, we will feel like shit.

Anyway, I think part of the state of grace that I am in right now has to do with the accumulated effect of eating right and eating often for months and months, coupled with the fresh air, exercise and pure water. It's like the body finally got what it needed and this takes the edge off of the compulsive behavior.

Am I cured? (don't know any other way to put it) Hell no. I will never have the luxury of being mindless about what I eat and drink. I can't be on auto-pilot with the food and fitness.

I could wake up tomorrow and find myself at the mercy of some overwhelming urge to eat cake. That is my fear -- that I could wake up one day and not be in charge anymore --that old fatheaded me would be back allowing every urge and whim to dictate the actions. What a fucking nightmare.

A Lakota elder once told me that fear and anxiety are an absence of faith. Whether it is faith in ourselves or in a higher power, or both. His words helped me through some dark times. I am passing them on to you in hopes that it may help somehow

Anyway, time to get on with my day. Yeah, we overweight people can be pretty crazy, but just remember --- It's the cracked ones who let the light into the world!


  1. I'm hysterical over your body talking to you. Everytime I get back from a trip even if it is a day or 2, my body is always telling me to look for a salad.

    Congrats on your goals this week!

  2. Wow Loriann, love that thought about fear and anxiety - so true.

    I don't recall how you "calculate" your daily food intake but maybe you really can eat less now.

    It's said we are what we eat and I'd much rather be a whole grain than a Twinkie ;-)

  3. My body told me in a dream that it was designed to live on oats. The scary part was that it was a giant quaker oat can telling me that.

  4. I dunno... Unless you 'unflick' that switch, I don't think you'll be reverting to your old ways anyway soon...

    I was chatting with a fellow, very overweight person about obsessive personality types (we both are - isn't THAT a huge surprise) and I was saying how I think my obsession with food has been replaced with an obsession (dedication, Patsy, dedication) with exercise and blogging! lol But, joking aside, I absolutely hear where you're coming from - the EXACT same thing has happened to me and my frame of mind and I really can't (at this point in time) imagine going back to my old ways. I think so many people have had this revelation recently that it must be some kind of collective unconscious! lol

    Thanks for the very kind offer a place to stay - will definitely be taking you up on that if and when I'm in your neck of the woods! One of my friends in Montana is originally from New Jersey and raves about NYC, so that's a goal for me! Just think, in a year or two we could be swigging beer (I mean mineral water - oops!) on the porch reminiscing about our fat days and revelling in our lush, Amazonian bodies!

    Would also be very interested to learn more about the Lakota People...

    Bye for now

    Patsy :o)

  5. What an awesome post! It feels good to be here, doesn't it? By the way, for Omega-3s, have you thought about flax seed? I love adding that to my Irish (steel cut) oats.

  6. Wow! I just discovered your blog. What an inspiration you are! I look forward to reading all about your continued success.

  7. Wow, what a great post and EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I understand that feeling of "flipping the switch". Over the years I've had that happen to me - but always for a very short but sweet (no pun intended) stretch. But since I didn't make a serious committment it never lasted very long. I'm struggling getting back into that zone. I know what I need to do and this post is giving me the kick in the keester to do it.

    Loved the quotes. I must be letting in a lot of light! LOL

  8. My theory is when you start eating real food, your body finally gets the nutrients it needs and says, "Hey, I'm good!"

    Sounds like a great week overall!

  9. Thanks for this wonderful post. The quote at the end is great. I'm a light letter inner right now! I love you mentioning fear and anxiety reflecting an absence of faith (thank you Lakota chief). I hear that in AA too, and I just mentioned it in my post today, after a pathetic binge last night. This positive entry helps.

  10. I agree with you and Patsy that one obsession (food) has been replaced by another (the scale, exercise and blogging). It really is like a switch got flipped on. But we can't deny that eating the best quality foods has an important part in keeping us from getting legitimately over-hungry. It takes a little planning but so worth it.


We are all so busy.... so I truly appreciate your taking the time to comment.