Progress Pics

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Tired of the same old same old?

Tired of eating the same things all of the time? Think that no one's diet could be more boring than yours? Not losing weight fast enough?

Try the LEAP INTO FITNESS PROGRAM. For exercise, you leap around like a frog and also do a lot of swimming. For meals, well, you eat frogs. You can combat global warming at the same time by eating your frogs raw. Below is the poster child for this new and exciting program.

You'll lose weight. Guaranteed.
Some how, after looking at this, salmon, brown rice and broccoli seem just fine, don't they?

Ok, now that I have that out of my system................ I haven't been myself all week. On Monday, I get a letter from probate court that has me in a tizzy.
My mom died of a stroke a few years ago and had been taking care of her brother, who is mentally retarded. She inherited the house (and the care of her brother) from HER mother when she died.

Anyway, my mom made one of my brothers the executor of her estate. (You can see where this is headed already, I'm sure). As soon as mom died, my brother (who is the executor) went to probate court and had himself made custodian of my uncle. I did not contest this because I didn't foresee what would happen next.

So far as I know, my two brothers and I equally inherit my mom's estate-- which mainly consists of a house that is paid for. My mother's wish was that her (retarded) brother not be sent away anywhere and remain in the place that had always been his home until he dies. Supposedly, at the time of my uncle's death, we would sell the house and split the money.

As an aside, let me also say that while my mom was on her death bed and could not speak, my brother had an attorney come up to her hospital room (his father-in-law is an attorney so he is well connected there) and had papers drawn up giving him power of attorney over my mother's affairs while she was still alive. Trust me, mom was not even aware that we were in the room so she was in no condition to give her permission for anything, so it's all bullshit.

Anyway, the minute mom was buried and my younger brother became custodian of my uncle, BOTH of my brothers stopped returning my phone calls. We have never been close, don't get me wrong, but it was obvious that those two had put their heads together and were in cahoots on something.

I am sure if there is some way, through the executorship or power of attorney, that they could cheat me out of my portion of the inheritance, they will do so. They also changed the locks on the doors so I was never involved in going through my mother's personal things or family mementos -- I have NOTHING that belonged to my mom and grand ma. My brothers and their wives took it all and I am sure that anything in the house that could be sold, has been, and was not added to the estate as it's supposed to be.

I got a letter from probate court Monday saying that my brother is applying for a change of residence for my uncle. Since my mother's will stipulated he gets to live in the house for life, there must be some deterioration in his health that makes it impossible for them to keep him there.

My mother had left behind roughly $30,000 in mutual funds and I am assuming that this is what they've been using to support my uncle for the past three years. He gets a small social security check but it is not enough to run a house. It could be a simple matter of they've run out of money to be able to keep him there. I don't know.

DH is taking the day off from work and we are going to the hearing next week to find out what's going on. I am also going to ask for a copy of my mother's will to see if my brother somehow made changes to it during the power of attorney phase while my mother was still alive. Mere words can't convey how much I detest all of this shit.

I have remained as detached from my family as possible since I was 16 and ran away from home. They are all scum bags. I am torn-up about this as I want nothing to do with them and all of this crap with my mom's estate is forcing me to have to see them.

Please don't tell me to hire an attorney. I don't have money for an attorney. Anyway, for the first time since I started my fitness program back in March-- I have done nothing all week but mope around and think negatively. I have managed not to overeat but my exercise efforts have sucked ass. I managed to walk Monday and Tuesday, but I have not gone to the gym, nor had I done the ChaLEAN program. Yesterday, I didn't even take a walk. I just sat around feeling anxious about having to see my brothers and getting myself in a bad state.

So today, I woke up and said, "Enough is enough is enough already with this shit." I got up and slapped myself silly, put on my walking shoes, snagged Jeff's Ipod and went out for a two-mile walk. When I came back, I did the ChaLEAN burn circuit 1, followed by the AB burner. So I got myself back on track today. I am going to the gym tonight and may walk there if my energy allows.

It looks like if I work hard, I can salvage my exercise hours for the week and still meet my goal of five hours a week. I haven't posted about this, as all of this family stuff is WAY powerful for me, a huge button-pushing issue. If you look up "white trash" in the dictionary, there'll be a family portrait of my crew up there. They are all drunks and drug addicts. They are mean-spirited, lack ethics, have violent tempers and extensive police records. A lot of seriously dysfunctional shit has gone on in my family such as incest and other fucked up shit.

Anyway, I can't let this situation swallow me up and fuck up my head and cause me to eat myself into oblivion. So, in the interest of honesty, I am telling you guys about it so that you know what's going on in the background, but I don't want to dwell on this too much.
Somehow, I have to deal with it and keep my distance at the same time and focus on what I need to focus on.

So there it is................ now you know. I didn't want to let another day go by without sharing this info as it would be a form of dishonesty to both myself and everyone else to have something like this bothering me and not at least mention it once . I won't post about this again until after the hearing next week as when you dwell on something and keep writing about it and thinking about it -- you empower it. I want to empower myself, not this issue, and to help other would-be fit people empower themselves too.
I am upset but I'm not letting it take over my life and hijack my goals the way I might have done a few months ago.

Anyway, on with my day! I hope that you're having a great day!
Be good to you today!


  1. Oh, sorry about all this mess. Use that frustration and anger to power your walks - you might as well get something good out of it!

  2. I'm so sorry. Legal issues really suck, and I can say that with some authority as I am an attorney. Unfortunately, I know next to nothing about probate and zero about Connecticut laws so I can't even offer any advice whatsoever. I can say that if it starts to look like you might need an attorney, many bar associations will refer you to attorney where you can get a very low cost (I think it's $30 here in Oregon) consultation, so you can at least get some advice. Maybe they can tell you that you don't need an attorney and give you advice/info about what you yourself can do to resolve the situation. Stay strong, we're all hear to listen if you need us :)

  3. Hopefully this will give you a laugh: the confirmation word on my comment was "faterie". That sounds like a good work excuse: "Sorry boss, I can't come into today, I've got a bad case of faterie." ;)

  4. your strong and aren't giving your power away to them anymore. cheer to you for pulling yourself out of the funk...keep going, 1 day at a time!

  5. I am so sorry you have to go through this Lori-Ann. It especially hurt me to read that you did not have access to any of your Mom's or Grand Ma's personal belongings. The bad@$$ family is really crappy to have to deal with but at least with exercise it could just be your key to helping you let this go and not eat you up too much.
    We are here for ya!

  6. *hugs* Stay strong, hon. This too shall pass.

  7. I'm in a blunt mood, so you'll have to excuse me if I offend by saying this.. but FUCK THEM. They have already taken enough, do not let them take your drive. You are one the most motivated people I know. You are one of the most hardworking people I know. You are a fucking rockstar. So fuck them! I'm proud of you for taking back your health. Keep onto it, because no matter what other shit hits the fan, you WILL keep going with this. Because when all else fails and life sucks, health and fitness never leave.


  8. I am stunned reading this. I cannot believe the nerve of some people. I really hope this all turns out better than how it seems to be going right now.

    Good job getting the walk in. Stick to it. They may have the power to do some things, but they can't prevent you from getting healthier. Only you can do that.

  9. I've heard you never really know a person until you split an inheritance with them.

    You've recognized this as one of your 'push button" issues and that's half the battle. Stick to your program. I find exercise is a GREAT way to release stress. Its one reason I enjoy hand-splitting firewood! LOL

  10. My code word for last comment was "oveerfit" If only it were true........

  11. I love MY OWN 2 FEET's Comment.

    Don't let their scumbaggedness deter your goals.

    Good luck this week to you!

  12. This sounds really overwhelming, AR. What a huge mess. I'm so glad you posted about it, just for the opportunity to dump it from your brain and free up the space for positive life affirming stuff. That's one of the things blogging has done for's much more satisfying than writing in a little diary with a lock and key. Getting this emotional crap out is essential on the weight loss journey, I think. You sound good, strong, and not about to be felled by this low-rent bullshit. Just pray for Karma - what goes around comes around. Unfortunately it doesn't always seem to work out that way though.

    I hope getting this down on virtual paper helps free your spirit and mind so you can have a peaceful weekend. Don't thing about the hearing until the day of. It's not worth letting it rob you of the moments in this day.

  13. Hi. Family sh*t like this is just so familiar to me. It gives me a deep down sick feeling because I know just exactly what it is like.

    And because it makes me feel that way I'd be tempted not to deal with it either but just to let them get on with it. But maybe there is a way of trying to make sure your (retarded) uncle is being properly taken care of? I think you can always represent yourself in court and get free legal advice to point yourself in the right direction.

    It's so tempting not to engage with sh*tty people but sometimes it's better for your sake and your uncle's if you do fight it to some extent.

    I know I'm speaking out of turn. But it's just a thought. Value yourself enough to get what's due to you from your mum.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  14. Sorry to hear about all this... :o( Hope the hearing goes as well as can be expected and you manage to avoid any damaging confrontations. Hope it gets sorted swiftly and you can maintain your distance again.

    Will be thinking of you next week.

    Bye for now



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