To bleed or not to bleed.....

Ok-- Warning to all men --a female topic will be covered here. It is not too late to turn back!

Starting late last week I began feeling kinda antsy and what I would call "moody" --- which I am not by nature, so this was weird! I stated having these negative feelings about my weight loss/fitness goals --- including a sense that there hasn't been enough change, and also a sense of futility about the future.

Just about ANYONE who has been morbidly obese will understand what I am talking about here. But these feelings weren't as fleeting or as easy to overcome as I would have liked. THEN, I started having completely irrational cravings for things like pop corn and chocolate, which I haven't had for months.

I just BARELY remained on program........... all of a sudden, I go to the bathroom on Friday only to discover that I am having a period. ME? The thing that is so shocking about this is that have been going through menopause for the past few years and you can count on one hand how many times in the past two years or so that I have had a "period" -- especially a full blown one like this. For the longest time, it has just been spotting and cramps every few months-- usually at the most inconvenient times! LOL

My BFF told me about a lady she knows who had been in full-blown menopause for quite some time. Then, she started eating right and lost weight --- at which time, her periods RETURNED. This is not a development I had foreseen kids! I thought I was done with the mess and the discomfort.

ANYWAY, the reason I brought this up is, when I was younger, I used to wonder how much a woman's menstrual cycle actually did affect moods, food cravings, etc...... and how much of it was "psychological" because we've been conditioned to believe that we will have these issues at certain times.

Well, now I know there is something to it. I had the moodiness, food cravings and irrational thought patterns that were all hormonally-based, but I didn't understand what was happening to me as I have been going through menopause and don't really have a "cycle" to keep track of anymore. When I saw the blood, it was "ohhhhhhhhhhhhh...... ok, I get it now."

I am not writing this to give myself and my female friends an excuse for pigging out several days a month. After all, a not-to-be-overlooked part of this story is that I did NOT give in to the cravings or let the moodiness/negative thinking take over my being. I fought back and overcame it -- just barely, but I did it.

And if I did it once, I can do it again. I feel a bit stronger now because of this experience.

Having "moods" is part of being human -- whether the moods are from hormones or from just being alive. There are ALWAYS going to be moods or impulses that we should not give into -- whether it is wanting to strangle our husbands or to eat a peanut butter cup-- I don't have to give up my power of choice and act like I am at the mercy of my impulses. I am not.

I will ALWAYS want to throttle the lady in front of me in the store who has a week's worth of groceries in the express check-out when I am in a hurry. There are always going to be situations in my life where I am faced with foods I should not eat, and I am always going to have days where its really tough to stay in control -- but I can do it.

In the grocery store scenario, I always manage the self-control to NOT pick up a turkey or something off the conveyor belt and shove it up the ass of the inconsiderate shopper who got in the express line with 146 items. And if I can master impulse control there, I can master it in other areas as well -- such as in re-conditioning myself to disregard food cravings -- at least MOST OF THE TIME.

Anyway, this is my rant for today!